The Kneeler

Hope Cup Cakes and Candles

2011-08-24T07:13:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,

It's always tempting to try to write about something that you are interested in or a part of. The temptation to compare your facts with other people's fiction overcomes the natural (and usually very necessary) fear of looking like an idiot (so what's new!) and when its about hospitables - it seems it's almost irresistible.

It is possible to separate the dross from the gloss when writing about the Royal Marsden without exaggeration or manipulation in any way shape or form, put simply - no dross - just pure gloss. Bright, sun-shining colours are present as pens, watch straps, hair bands - wherever possible and enable people to remember that in spite of the inevitable maintenance works at the front, back, sides and lifts - there is a Monet or Renoir beauty also hiding back there somewhere, well thumbed magazines are left nonchalantly lying around along with a loyalty card for the coffee bar (as just one more hint of the optimism that permeates the whole place)

Yes - I DO know what I am am talking about - this is my fourth week (I think) not counting the two or three days home for good behaviour towards the start of the month - and no - I am in no delusions about my disease or how vile, disfiguring and unpleasant it really can be. But I would want to echo everything good that was said about the Marsden in the guardian this week - and add some!

You see, they mentioned the patients, the brilliant but peculiar form of altruism practised by them, they pointed out how special and unique it is to have this facility on site - but they failed to mention some of the most incredible people I have ever met.

As a Methodist Minister, I get used to meeting saints (no really!!) But the staff of the Royal Marsden just astound me. They see ME - not the disease. They took the trouble to learn how to make me smile, how I like my tea and just how much ice makes a build-up milk shake actually taste like a milk shake.

This last fortnight I celebrated both my birthday and my 25th Wedding anniversary in the Oak Ward at the hospital trying out new treatments - so far no go..

For my birthday -there was cake, a candle and a song - for my Anniversary, one of the staff found a way of obtaining an anniversary card for me to be able to surprise my husband with, a doctor found a way of giving new signs of hope and two nurses were a step ahead of me in figuring out how we could enable me to sleep in spite of all the gadgetry sewn into my back.

I find myself wanting to ask those who put the TV commercial together to ask not just for £2.00 a month but for £2.00 + 2 smiles, or 2 acts of random human kindness as I am convinced beyond measure that the cure for Cancer lies as much in the attitude of the people who work here and the care that they show as it does in the chemicals they research and administer. These chemicals are incredibly expensive and although progress is fairly rapid, it does take time to solve the mutations that warp our cells. We have however known what warps our hearts and lives for a long time already.

Me? I'm going to try and take a leaf out of thier book - from the way I am greeted at the door, to the way I am wished goodnight, I will try and be worth the investment of the staff in me.

Christian conferring via twitter

2011-07-04T07:54:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,

Today begins the main business work of the British Methodist Conference. It is a heavy agenda, both literally and metaphorically, so there will be the usual need to ensure that the business is 'done'. It's a fine line that the business committee has to draw, determining how much time to allocate to each particular topic without inadvertently stifling debate. The problem is exacerbated however by the fact that reports, even highly significant reports, are seldom debated, nor are they really discussed unless they are highly controversial. Many reports, particularly those dealing with governance and finance are increasingly complex and written in 'technical' rather than theological or scriptural language with the result that few feel qualified to unpack them for general consumption.

But some reports can and do attract comment, and I have no doubt that we will hear much praise and comment about the reports being presented today. But are such 'comments' all that remains of Christian Conferring?
What of the challenge and choice that forms a part of every good conversation, the opportunity to be led to think differently as a result of deeper engagement with the issue at hand? Comments are hardly the same as a well reasoned argument for or against a particular recommendation.

Of course it is possible for someone to speak to the recommendation rather than the content of a report. But this seldom happens in practice.

For years, the surest means of provoking Conference to confer about the consequences of a particular recommendation, rather than simply accept it at face value was to bring a notice of motion. Often it was only through the speeches of the proposer and seconder that Conference was alerted to the fact that there might be a strong argument against what was being recommended. Moreover, whether it was won or lost, a notice of motion still served to remind Conference that its task was not to 'rubber stamp' the work of whoever has written the report, but to CHOOSE whether or not the recommendations arising from it should form the basis of the Church's future polity, practice or doctrine.

There is an alternative means now however of achieving the same effect. Parallel conversations, using the best of modern multimedia and social networking can also provoke some members of Conference to confer. The twitter stream #methconf for example, carries not just a summary report of conversations, but often critiques and contributes to what is being said. In 140 characters it focuses attention on a possible reply to a conversation, and can serve to alert people to an alternative perspective.

Social networking also makes Conference much more inclusive. It is possible for Methodists who are not members of Conference to both follow and contribute to the wider debate for example, through listening to the live stream and making their own comments via twitter or facebook.

I know some are sceptical, but for my part God, I have no doubt that if used wisely and graciously, social media can and does have a real part to play in enabling Christian conferring to take place at Conference.

As @revdrange, I look forward to following the tweets.

Methodist Apostolic Succession

2011-07-02T07:26:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
The point was made yesterday that the handing on of Mr Wesley's Field Bible was in effect a form of Methodist Apostolic Succession. In bygone days there is no doubt that the power of the President was such that they could and did represent and embody the Conference in a highly symbolic and practical way - particularly the ministerial session of Conference. The changes in both Conference and the role of the President over the last decade mean that this may no longer be the case. The President retains the power to persuade, to preach and to visit, but the leadership, discipline and decision making of the Church is now far more diffuse. The power of President is no longer a reflection of the power of the Conference.

There is nonetheless, in my opinion, a more historical, lasting significant and powerful sign of our apostolic succession, and it is embedded in the order of business for the second day of the ministerial session.

The day begins with consideration of those candidates for ministerial training, and reviews the stage of each of our 'preachers' in their journey with our Church. This is no rubber stamping job, Conference can and has in the past, overturned some decisions regarding particular preachers. It is however a moment of joy as the Church acknowledges the renewing of the call, and the graciousness of God's Spirit in equipping people for ministry.
Later that day, a very moving service of remembrance is held. The families of those ministers who have travelled to higher service, are invited to join with the ministerial session to share in the worship and hear proclaimed again, our conviction of the truth of the Good News, Death is not the end. As the roll is called each person is recognised and honoured. It is almost a 'sacramental' moment, for their lives are the outward and visible sign of the inward invisible grace that countless thousands have received through their ministry.
It may seem too small a sign of our thanks and deep appreciation for the personal sacrifices that we know each family will have made in order to enable their loved one to serve, but when the entire body stands in respectful silence, not for their grief, but in thanks and appreciation of THEIR ministry, it is impossible not to be moved.
Following the afternoon's business, a buzz begins, quietly at first, as in ones and two's the ordinands arrive straight from the ordinand's retreat. Their joyous anticipation mingled with nervous trepidation is a powerful reminder to the gathered presbyters of their own ordination and the days leading up to it.
For me, the cycle of the whole day embodies a model of apostolic succession that is far more powerful than the handing on of Wesley's Bible.Especially as the day culminates with a celebration of Holy Communion. We gather, from every stage of the Journey, to hear and respond to the call, to worship God and be bound together as the Body of Christ. We receive what has been handed down to us, that on night on which he died, our Lord Jesus Christ, took bread...
Like many, I miss the arrival of the Deacons who used to share in the same service, but the powerful symbolism of the Vice President as preacher reminds us all of our calling to be a part of the Whole people of God, not separate from them, but raised up by them.

All of which leads me to conclude that Methodist apostolic succession is not (and perhaps never has been) ensured by the laying on of hands nor is it embodied by the President of Conference; rather, it is ensured by our faithfulness to our doctrines as they have been handed on from generation to generation and embodied in the real presence of Christ and the means of grace.

Connexional Ministers and Christian Conferring

2011-07-01T09:47:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,

The Ministerial session of Conference has always been an important part of my life, since I first I arrived with all the other ordinands of that year to the welcome of the Conference. Here was the collegiality that they had spoken of at the ordinands retreat, here was the example of belonging which bore witness to the claim that being received into full Connexion was as important as ordination.

This was a gathering of ministers whose knowledge and insight of the way in which our Church worked often inspired me – many spoke Biblically, if not theologically. They made their contributions to debates convinced that the Church wanted to hear, and to benefit from the collective experience of their ministers.

I recall hearing from men (and yes, they were usually men!) such as Rupert Davies and Brian Beck, pastorally sensitive about the issues being debated yet equally convinced of their role as Presbyters and the need thereby to say what they felt needed to be said, because of the trust placed in them their by the Church. Over the years I heard passionate speeches about social justice, politics, apartheid, ecumenism, Scripture, training… the list is almost endless. Yes there were a few that simply liked the sound of their own voice – but these were few and far between and did little to alter the flow or quality of some of the debates.And there really were debates at times, not just points of view expressed, people listened hard, and responded, with the whole discussion chaired by the President.

It made me believe in Methodism as something that really was worthy, was somehow ‘bigger’ than a few disciplines and doctrines and it made the representative session make more sense to me as a minister, I learned how ‘ministerial experience’ could throw a different light on what might otherwise seem a quite straightforward issue. It served as a reminder that a part of my job was to learn how to do the same.

Of course it didn’t take long to lose the sense of reverence and awe of that first Conference, after all, we were actively encouraged, if not to scorn what we were seeing, then at least to ‘see through it’ as a relic of a bygone age. Yes, we saw the ‘politics’ the posturing and the positioning – but I really believe we also saw something else that those of us who were new to the ministry could learn from. we saw what it meant to be in full connexion'.

Over the last ten years, the question has repeatedly been asked – why do we need a ministerial session of Conference? Each time in reply, the ministerial session has made it clear that there are many reasons – not least Connexionality, it has voted to retain the session, and has asked the business committee to consider how best the time might be utilised to harness the collective insight and experience of the gathered Presbyters in the service of the Church.

After yesterday I found myself asking the same question. For me the most important speech of the day was by the minister who began by saying that they had attended Conference at their own expense because they felt cut off from the Connexion.. I would echo that. But I am no longer naïve enough to believe that the order of Mr Wesley’s preachers believes in Connexionality in the same way. If yesterday's session is any guide, the ministerial session of Conference no longer sees itself as a body worth listening to, it seems to have nothing it wants to say to the wider Church.

It's little wonder that so few ministers now want to attend. But what then will persuade the new ordinands that they are called to be 'Connexional Ministers'? Where will they learn to listen to the wider wisdom of the gathered Church? Where indeed will they learn what it is to belong to an order of ministry?

I suspect that we in real danger of turning Christian conferring into nothing more than introspective table-talk, and in so doing, losing the means of growth in grace and holiness it once provided.

Strategic Service?

2011-06-28T16:38:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon God,

I’ve been trying to reflect theologically on matters of strategy – to be exact, I have been trying to determine the place of strategic thinking and strategic management in the life of the Church. That it has a place, I have no doubt, a chaotic Church makes nonsense out of the relationship between faith and order, it disturbs the balance between law and grace so that accountability before you and the faithful for the bountiful resources you provide for the proclamation of the Gospel becomes impossible.

But when the life of your Church is determined by adherence to strategy as the best or only proper means of achieving priorities, it is evident that there is an even greater disruption of the means of grace.

Faith and Order – both are needed – Law and Grace together enable your kingdom to flourish – but surely, God, in your Church, final authority should lie with the Spiritual leader, not with the strategic manager?

What would be the difference?

Strategy and resources belong together and it is natural for the strategic leader to mete out the resources of your church, both financial and personnel, based on a budgeting strategy which naturally includes balancing the books.

You however, repeatedly create something out of nothing, and encourage us to join with you. You take phenomenal risks for the sake of your people and the Kingdom of justice and peace. In fact – I don’t know you as anything other than the risk-taking God.

So I am concerned about the proposed ‘clarification’ of the role of the SRC (strategy and resources committee). as recommended in the Council's report

I am concerned because, whether intentional or not, it places, at the head of our Church, a body which is, by its own description un-representative, and unelected. The changes in the standing orders do more than ‘clarify’ they change the POWER and the AUTHORITY of this small unrepresentative group, making them, in effect, the gatekeepers rather than the servants of the work of your Church.

It gives the SRC the power to act with regard to finances, personnel and the Church's other assets such as buildings, colleges etc without necessarily firstly consulting with the Council or the Conference in each instance. (2b)

According to para (4) It will be the SRC’s interpretation of the mission strategies of the Methodist Church that will form the rationale for the Church’s budget – not Conference’s or the President’s, or the General Secretary’s. (Neither Conference nor Council need necessarily be informed of the projects etc. which have not been allocated resources because they fall outside of the SRC’s interpretation).

The largest percentage of the committee will be chosen, not for their spiritual insight or their ability to discern your vision for our Church, but for their skills and experience in the specific items of governance. That’s fine, the committee has a particular task to do. It does mean however that there is even less surety that the committee will be able to hold before it, the risky nature of the body of Christ, and the necessity of being willing, if called upon, to ‘give all that we have to the poor’ in order to follow Christ, rather than just balancing the books.

Even more distressing is the idea in (4B) that this committee will be responsible for implementing the Church’s duty of care to some ministers and deacons. The Church has a duty of ‘Pastoral Care’ not ‘Strategic care’, and Ministers and Deacons, are in a COVENANT relationship with the Church – even if they do work for the Council or are a part of the Connexional Team. As is hinted at in the preamble to the recommendations, this is an area of some controversy – not least the perverse reluctance to allow ministers to be known by the title Rev when they work for the Connexional Team.

All of which leads me to say, I want strategy in SERVICE to the Church, not GOVERNING or LEADING the Church. Jesus did not call us to preach, baptize and make disciples of all nations according to how much money the SRC is prepared to allocate to that particular task according to its interpretation of our priorities and when balanced against the other priorities such as teaching them all that Jesus has said, or enabling them to love you God, and their neighbours as themselves.

It is worth reminding ourselves sometimes that Methodism began with nothing. That the greatest gift to Methodism’s early growth, the class system, came about because we had nothing and needed to work together to make something out of nothing! That Methodism’s decline, like that of so many other Churches and Denominations may have more to do with the emphasis we place on balancing the books, compared to proclaiming the Word.

The SRC may be frustrated by the fact that it cannot do as much as it would like to in holding the Church to the priorities it has set itself, but the existing standing orders do necessitate the SRC serving the Church as the Church decides – not as the SRC interprets past decisions.

The existing standing orders serve us well. I agree with the need for an SRC. The proposed standing orders changes however, could make the Church a servant of the Connexional Team – rather than the other way around. In so doing it makes us all slaves to limited human strategy instead of obedient to your vision for us all. Worse, it is unwittingly predicated on the belief that we must act, because you will not. We have to have a strategy for dealing with your absence God. Only then can we be confident that we will continue to exist to fulfill OUR priorities. I think it’s time we remembered that we exist to serve YOUR priorities and that strategies might need to change according to YOUR will, not the budget.

After reflection therefore God, I really do think that Conference should resist the changes to these particular standing orders on the basis that they redefine rather than clarify the role of the SRC so that it lies outside of our faith and order.

Christian Conferring and misplaced loyalty.

2011-06-26T08:09:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,
There are times when I really wish you hadn't made me a Methodist - usually just before Conference. It's not about whether I agree or disagree with the contents of the reports that are being brought, or the recommendations that are being made; some are outstanding and a real credit to the revelation of faith that you have shared with us. Some however are so contrary to the Methodism you called me to serve, that I wonder if there hasn't already been a serious breach of the 'Covenant relationship' we are supposed to share as Church and minister.
The problem is that few people realize that the theology and doctrines of the Church are not just carried by the 'God bits' or 'Scriptural content' of what we write, debate and agree upon. There is as much, if not more theology in our so called governance, our structures and budgets, 'strategies' and management.
Yet all too often, since the team focus process started, this side of Conference's business is seen as just that - 'business' and the complaint is made - and often agreed upon - that Conference is no way to run a business - sorry - church.

But it is this area of our Church's life that has led and is continuing to lead to the loss of what were once considered core doctrines and principles of the people called Methodist.

Our Church structures, our governance, our polity - are part of the visible proclamation of the Gospel as you have revealed it to us, and that you call us to preach. In much the same way that many Anglicans think of their Church as the via-media between Roman Catholicism and Protestantism, you seem to have placed the Methodist Church as a bridge between the established and the non-conformist churches, allowing the best of both to flow in either direction. So Methodists have been willing to act 'pragmatically' if it has been deemed right to do so, whilst at the same time maintaining sufficient 'orthodoxy' to be able to speak to the 'un-reformed' traditions with an authentic voice.

Theologically, our calling was once defined as being to spread Scriptural holiness and to reform the Church - the reform was as important as Spreading Scriptural holiness, for the lack of reform hindered growth in grace and holiness. It is therefore decidedly worrying when what Conference is presented with are recommendations and resolutions that seem to offer only the possibility of aping, rather than reforming the Church. It is even more worrying when those recommendations and resolutions that will change our theology the most - or those that highlight the shift in our theology that has already taken place - are effectively buried in the more 'business-like' sections of the Conference Agenda.

I know, I know, you have to be 'touched' in a very odd way to be the sort of sad soul who avidly reads the report of the law and polity committee with as much enthusiasm as the brilliantly written Big Society report, or who does more than skim through the Methodist Council report and the standing order changes proposed in it. But that seems to be how you have made me. Which is why around this time of the year, I have a very Jeremiah style love hate relationship with my Church.

I am all too aware that some of the things that I feel called to say about the proposed changes to our structures will not be welcomed by those who wrote the reports - or whose interests they serve. I am aware that much of what I expect to write over the next two weeks will be seen as being 'personal' (a phenomenal shift from how Conference and Christian conferring used to be recognized and actively encouraged in our Church) I know that the things I intend to write will leave me open to accusations of disloyalty and 'team bashing'. So let me say just this - I consider myself part of the people called Methodist, and I recognize NO distinction between the 'team' and any other Methodist. The fact that there is such a high proportion of non-Methodists in the 'team' is irrelevant as all are required to sign up to the Priorities of the Methodist Church.

Fear of disloyalty and of creating/maintaining a 'Them and Us' mentality can no longer be allowed to silence the debates we need to be having as a whole Church. The agenda before Conference is NOT the 'precious work 'of members of the Connexional Team - it is the offering of the people called Methodists to you God as together we seek to discern a way forward for the future.
It is not 'disloyal' to disagree - it is not disloyal to critique what is set before us, it is not disloyal to say thank you. but no thank you, that recommendation is denied. It is not disloyal or 'team bashing' to not be willing as a Church to be led in certain areas particularly when the body of the Church feels it is not the will of the Spirit for us to go there.

Conference is the only opportunity the Church has to express an honest, prayerful opinion of the direction the Church is moving in and the theology it is proclaiming by its actions: Now more than ever, Conference cannot afford to be silenced or subdued out of misplaced 'loyalty' or 'respect' or 'courtesy' to our 'strategic leaders'. Conference is presided over by those we have elected to that post - but let us not forget as we explore, examine and debate its agenda that the aim of Conference is to give you glory God, to fulfill our calling before you and to serve your interests, which may not necessarily be the same as those envisaged by the report writers.

Consulting on Worship

2011-06-23T17:51:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon God,
I well remember the first time that I tried to persuade members of a congregation to assist in the planning and preparation of worship 'Does that mean you've run out of ideas' someone asked! No, I explained, but worship shouldn't be something that just happens to you, or is 'done to you'. Worship at its best is a corporate act, from start to finish.
Hence the worship consultation meeting; once a quarter, those who are interested in the worship of the Church gather to plan our worship for that 'Season' in accordance with the mission of the Church.

We have been using 'Season's of the Spirit' to help us plan and prepare worship that enables the whole Church to grow in grace. It follows the revised common lectionary and provides a staggering range of resources for different age groups, including prayers, liturgy, modern art, modern music from around the world, home Bible reading notes, poetry, articles, web-based games, resource sheets, etc.. It's not the cheapest resource available, but the language is inclusive and contemporary and the ideas always fresh and pertinent. It actually makes me believe that Worship is a part of modern life and that it isn't necessary to step back in time to fuzzy felt and children's addresses, or throw away your brain in order to worship and pray effectively!

But resources can only take you so far - they have to be used to be effective, and sometimes, the more people that are involved in the planning, preparation, and even the delivery of an act of worship, the better it can be as a means of grace. This is not always easy in Methodism where we seem (peculiarly) to have adopted the bizarre notion that the right to determine how a Church will worship belongs to the local preacher - not the congregation. Over time this has led to a terrifying congregational passivity; all that is required of a those who attend worship is to sit and listen, sing a few hymns and say whatever is printed in bold. It's no wonder fewer and fewer young people feel called to ministry or preaching - what experience do we give them of leading or participating in worship? Putting the occasional 'LA' on the plan is not enough!

Last night the consultation agreed to explore different ways of using evening worship so that the Church might serve the needs of the whole congregation and perhaps even attract others! Currently evening services tend to be 'traditional' Methodist hymn prayer sandwich services. Depending on the preacher however, the congregation can fall to as few as 8 people (including organist and stewards!)

The consultation therefore decided to try replacing those services by a combination of:-

'Church lite' - a half an hour service consisting mainly of praise and prayer with space for a short reflection.
'Opening the Word' an hour of interactive Bible Study on the set Lectionary for the week (similar in style to the sort of studies that were part of the Lent BigRead.)
Cafe Church - a meal of Scripture, politics, social justice and contemporary affairs which currently provides our largest evening congregation in spite of the fact that it has no hymns or sermons or even 'talks'.
Holy Communion - a reflective quiet service using (for example) Iona or Celtic liturgies as well as those 'in the book'.

The joy for me as the minister is that Church lite - aimed at teenagers and young adults will primarily be planned and delivered by people of that age group. Who knows God, maybe one or more of them will enjoy it so much that they might hear a call to minister or preach. It's certainly a step in the right direction.

The sins of the Fathers...

2011-06-20T17:25:00.002+01:00

Good afternoon God,
I had always puzzled at how a loving God could, as Scripture so often tells us, visit the iniquity of the father onto the Children to the third and fourth generation.. sadly I now understand that what is meant is that the consequences of the initial 'sin' will reverberate and enslave subsequent generations.
It is in that light that I have come to view our current ecumenical situation.

I fully understand the origin of the dreams of ecumenism that once fired the young ministers of the Methodist and Anglican Churches during the 1960's and 70's - especially following the 'death of God debate'. I appreciate all that they managed to achieve with their zeal and enthusiasm.. but I have also come to believe you gave your answer - firmly and emphatically. You have made it clear that your 'broken body' is not ours to try and lump together again by our petty politics and power games. It is broken - to serve your purposes, not ours.

But the next generation of ministers, and those that have followed have nonetheless had to pay the price of those dreams. The amount of energy and money that has been spent on seeking so called 'Church unity' - ie on Church order, instead of on evangelism, social justice and pastoral care is - quite simply - frightening - and sinful.

And no - I do not understand it.

I am repeatedly told that full organic unity will better serve the mission of your Church - but the fastest growing churches in the world, both historically, and currently are those interested in mission and ministry, not those obsessed with bishops and clerics. They are those with people and salvation in mind, not Church order and interchangability of ministry. They are focused on worship and discipleship, not with whether a service of the Eucharist is 'proper' or 'authorized'.
The Pentecostal Church today is not interested in whether the world thinks it is 'orthodox' or 'respectable' it IS interested in saving souls. In Asia and Africa the Methodist Church is not concerned with whether it is part of the apostolic succession or not, it IS concerned with saving souls..

I am tired of being told that the Methodist Church once claimed that it was willing to take the historic episcope into its system - we once claimed a lot of things! Wesley believed in Witches, and thought tea was the devil's brew - we no longer do. British Methodists were once almost all members of the Temperance society - few are today, we once thought Roman Catholics were not even Christian - we no longer think so today - we MAKE MISTAKES in our discernment!
At the start of this century, we made it clear that we were no longer so willing to take the historic episcope into our system when Conference and the Methodist people declared that NONE of the possible options presented (including that of the president of Conference being made a Bishop) was acceptable.

Surprisingly God, you have shared with us some crucial revelations: You have shown us that that there is no difference in your eyes between laity and clergy, and that the Church really does not need bishops to engage in mission and ministry. You have revealed to us that the diaconate is a separate unique and complementary form of ordained ministry; that the laity can baptise and preside over the Lord's table without either acts losing their sacramentality or efficacy before You. That discipline and discipleship belong together. That Christian perfection is the goal you set before us, and most of all - that predestination in any form is not part of your Gospel of love and grace.

The longing of some Methodist men to be Bishops was/is I believe, another sickness and a sin in our church that some in this generation are growing a little tired of paying for. I believe you have made it clear that churches can work together without denying the gifts of grace that you have given to each. It should be possible for any church seriously committed to your gospel, to work for your glory without being made to adopt Bishops first!

So - yes, I am appalled at the re-writing of Methodist History in the JIC report coming before our Conference - Methodism divided after Wesley's death over church structure - and in particular over the doctrine of the Priesthood of all believers - ie over the equality before you, God of the laity and the clergy. Once again, our history is paraded as something shameful, when the truth is quite the opposite.
Lay and clerical equality is not an event in our past, but in our present. We have only recently finished restructuring our own Conference so that there is parity of representation between clergy and laity.

And where in the report is the recent Anglican history over this same period ? What of the flying bishops from other parts of the Anglican world brought in by London Churches to ordain the homophobic, or the success of the ordinariate and the dissent against women bishops -
The JIC report dares to suggest that the Covenant is a plan for greater Church unity but the Anglican Church has demonstrated a frightening inability to maintain its own internal unity.

A large part of what distresses me is the ignorance that has been perpetrated by our ecumenical work leading to the lie that there is little difference between Methodists and Anglicans. Most Methodists and Anglicans have no idea that the Church of England does not recognise Methodist orders. They have no idea that the Church of England will only allow a Methodist minister to conduct a 'Methodist' service in an Anglican Church - that we are not deemed worthy or 'holy' or 'ordained' enough to lead an Anglican rite - even though we train with Anglicans, share in various mission and social justice programs with Anglicans. And few will know - especially if these new ecumenical areas are implemented - that the difference is based not just on canon law - but on theology and doctrine.

I suspect that the proposed 'ecumenical areas' or 'local covenants' are intended to lead still more people to believe that there is no difference really - even though the actual difference cripples Methodist ministry and mission, further erodes Methodist identity and negates the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers, and the revelation Methodism has received of the equality of lay and ordained. (To say nothing of gender equality)

I do not want to be a part of a church where so called 'unity' is more important than equality before you God. Please God, is there no way you can persuade the Anglican Church to focus on sorting out its own divisions and schisms and let this be the last generation required to wrestle with the consequences of the 1972 debacle?

Can we not just get on with the task of saving souls?

Ministerial Extensions.

2011-06-16T17:37:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon God,
It's that time in ministry again when I am trying to discern my calling - where do you want me to minister, what am I called to do next.. what is best for the circuit, what is best for me? (And by best I mean what is right by you!)
It's not easy - and I am grateful that I do not have to do it alone.
I have already met with the District chair and soon I will meet with the circuit stewards and they, in turn will discuss with the people I have been ministering too, all so that together we can discern your will.
It's a good system, at its best it can be supportive and affirming, albeit challenging and humbling. It's part of what it means to me to be an itinerant Presbyter in your service. The same process is used throughout the Methodist Church, whether the presbyter is a circuit minister, superintendent or district chair. It is a consultative process that provides feedback from which the minister can learn and grow in grace and holiness. The fact that it is a shared process throughout the ministry is important to maintaining trust and confidence in the system.

So I am somewhat saddened to learn from our Conference reports that the same process appears to have been short-circuited in the case of our General Secretary. The most important stage of all - the consultation with those being ministered to, has been compromised. The conversation with the equivalent of the Circuit Stewards has happened, and Conference will play the equivalent role of the Circuit meeting in either accepting or rejecting the recommendation being brought to them - but the recommendation does not appear to come on the basis of feedback from a full representative range of those that the General Secretary is called to minister to. If the report is to be believed, the ordinary members of the Connexion (and by Connexion I mean Connexion not Connexional Team) were not consulted.

The report tells us that

First, soundings were taken from those who work most closely with Martyn
in the Connexional Team and from Chairs of Districts. A process was
then put in place whereby comments could be obtained from other Church
leaders in the United Kingdom, from the leaders of a number of partner
Methodist Churches and from other organisations and individuals with
which the Methodist Church works in close co-operation.

If the General Secretary is to do his job well, shouldn't some of the 'rank and file' of the Methodist Church have also been consulted? The long list of the great and good who were consulted makes me uneasy - is there really now such a division between our 'leadership' and our people?

If the only people to be consulted in the process of stationing a circuit minister were the district chairs and circuit stewards and their ecumenical equivalents - would the Church members be happy?

What a missed opportunity for the General Secretary (and Conference) to receive some feedback about his ministry from the people who will be most affected by the changes he suggests we adopt. I am aware that often members of the Connexional team receive negative emails, hate letters etc - but here was a chance for the Church to offer affirmation, and positive comments.

The General Secretary is much loved in the Connexion - surely he had the right to hear that?
His ministry has been appreciated by many - surely he had the right to learn why and discover what people have valued the most?

I have no doubt that those who were considering how best to do this whole process had the Church's best interests at heart - but on this occasion, I think they got it seriously wrong. It leaves me with the uneasy impression that the opinions of 'ordinary' rank and file Methodists don't count. Something I don't for one second believe to be the case.

I can only hope that it is the report, not the process that was flawed, and that a full range of Methodist members including those without 'rank' or office.. were indeed seriously consulted. It's only the General Secretary's right as a Presbyter in the Methodist Church seeking an extension to his appointment after all.

For what its worth - The General Secretary would have received my vote.

A discpleship movement shaped for mission

2011-06-14T09:01:00.001+01:00

Good afternoon God,
I have been reflecting further on the new direction for British Methodism being presented to the Conference this year in the hope of unpacking what it might mean for the ordinary church member.
The report states that 'The big theme of Connexionalism sets the context' in which all the remainder of the report must be read.

The argument is that Connexionalism is 'a Spiritual commitment' before it is a descriptor of Methodist 'structures, processes and systems'.
This understanding allows us to loosen the bonds that hold circuits and local churches together in such a way that

1) We can be more flexible about who is 'in full Connexion' with us - and why!
2) We can be more flexible about what a 'local Church', 'circuit' or even a 'District' is
3) We can redefine how Connexionalism is applied across the connexion.

How might this change things..
A fresh expression of Church might well become a part of the Connexion - but not necessarily a part of a circuit on the circuit plan.

A circuit or district could be created which is not defined according to geography but according to (for example) churchmanship.. so a network of fresh expressions across the country could become the equivalent of a 'District' or 'Circuit'. An ethnic fellowship could become the equivalent of a 'Circuit' etc. This makes it possible for forms of spirituality to flourish regardless of geography. So a youth church in an existing local Methodist Circuit might be part of a much larger national youth circuit and so would not be dependent on the presbyters and local preachers of their local circuit, but on those already engaged in similar work and worship.

The current principle that all Churches in full connexion are under the same 'discipline' and have access the same resources would no longer necessarily hold, meaning that the Connexion could decide where to focus and allocate resources (such as ministers, deacons, finance etc) according to where and how it is discerned that the Spirit is moving.

Ethnic groups/fellowships/churches can be part of the Connexion, as Districts or Circuits or churches allowing the richness of diversity to become a real factor in shaping Methodist mission and understanding.

For all this to happen - the Connexion rather than the local church, will need to become the primary body deciding what happens with our buildings and our boundaries.

Yes of course some of this could be seen negatively. It could be argued that introducing such phenomenal diversity will destroy what little is left of a distinctive Methodist identity, or that such diverse connexionalism will be impossible to 'discipline'. Small rural churches and circuits could well feel threatened or even abandoned. 'Traditional' Methodists who insist that we have always done it this way and so must always do it this way will undoubtedly feel threatened! But truth be told - this vision of Methodism is much much closer to the origins of Methodism than what we currently have.

Perhaps the most difficult change for some will be the loss of 'Church' in favour of 'movement'. This will undoubtedly affect our ecumenical relationships. Some of our existing ecumenical partners might balk at being so closely tied to a body that deliberately chooses to be in full Connexion (and hence - perhaps - full communion) with a Pentecostal 'circuit' or a Fresh expression youth 'District'.
It will be harder to define common ground when we are once again so diverse.

When we look less like Church because we are structured less like parishes and dioceses - we will however become more dependent on our theology and understanding of the movement of the Spirit to hold us together - we will need to draw more on you GOD than on CPD!

The potential - really is - staggering!

Methodism and the Nunc Dimittis

2011-06-10T11:30:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,

It's an odd thing to say, but the General Secretary has helped me understand the Nunc Dimittis in a way I could never have believed possible before.. and its bitter-sweet. The same thing that makes me feel I really can die in peace, also energizes me and makes me long to live and see more of what you have granted us just a tiny glimpse of. I wonder if Simeon felt that strange mix of elation and peace, excitement and anticipation, longing and regret on seeing Jesus?

Ok, Ok the General Secretary's report is not quite in the same league in one sense - but it DID let me see Jesus - it DID open my eyes and offer me a glimpse of your salvation and filled my heart with hope - and dread - for the future.

The report is written in clear and accessible Godly language that draws on the riches of our tradition and the experiences and inspiration of past presidents - yet is still clearly profoundly prophetic. That it is YOUR word I have no doubt. Yes, it shows evidence of careful editing, there is no desire here to upset or offend, but this report also makes no apologies for the fact that should the Connexion be persuaded to follow the vision that you have given to the General Secretary and the Connexional team, it will be radically changed from what it is now.

Alleluia!

No minister likes to think that their ministry, their service to you God has been in vain. As with so many I have been more than disillusioned about the 'Church' and its seeming loss of passion for the gospel, commitment to mission, obsession with structure and form rather than Scripture and prayer.
The seemingly slow inexorable slide into Anglicanism, institutionalism, officialdom etc has depressed me beyond belief. The lack of godly language or the use of Scripture in our public communications, the absence of any real sense of direction other than a parroting of 'the priorities' had left me seriously questioning my vocation.

The words of the Easter liturgy spring to mind..

If we have fallen into despair. If we have failed to hope in you, If we have been fearful of death, If we we have forgotten the victory of Christ. Lord, forgive us.'

But on the eve of Pentecost you have answered my prayer by giving me a glimpse of a possible future..
The General Secretary's report captures what Methodism once did best - move forward into the future, taking the risk of being different, radical, even passionate in a desire to serve You in obedience and truth. It then dares to spell out how that might still possible today before providing just a few small illustrations of what Methodism might look like if it chose to follow that route. And for the first time since the whole 'Team Focus' process started - I feel a part of the team again, as though the Connexion includes me in, rather than writes me off as a circuit minister.

THANK YOU TEAM

Yes, I know, this will be incredibly risky and painful for many in our Church to accept and adopt.
Yes, this runs the risk of initially at least losing us almost as many members as it potentially creates,
yes this takes us further than ever away from the careful steering towards respectable ecclesiology that has eaten up so much of our energy and vitality over the last 30 years -
but
by grace, by your wonderful powerful spirit God, we could actually do this - we could actually become a mission minded people once again, more worried about You than about our committees, buildings, titles, and personnel departments!

Provided we don't procrastinate.

I really want to be a part of this Lord.. not just witness the birth of it!

A rational, philosophical faith.

2011-05-28T09:19:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
In honour of this weeks lectionary reading from Acts - I would like to confess my own philosophical leanings.. and my puzzlement at those Christians who seem hell bent on pitting faith against reason, as though there were nothing reasonable or intelligent about either the Gospel or your continuing creative presence.

You who know how we are made, who gave to us this amazing thing we call curiosity and set in our hearts a hunger for the truth, seem to delight in communicating with us in riddles and parables. You invite our exploration, tease us with the possibilities that knowledge affords, and then gently persuade us to use the phenomenal intelligence of the whole of humanity to speculate and wonder at the mystery of creation and our place within it.

How sad that religion so often decries the great gift you give to us of collective intelligence, of the progress of knowledge and the slow but inexorable maturing of the mind of humanity. How pathetic when priests, the appointed guardians of the mysteries, perjure their calling by insisting that they already know what the truth is, that we need look no further, seek no harder. We can stop asking and stop knocking at your door because you have already said all you intend to say. The Bible says it all, and what it says is all that we need to know.

Thank you God - that you taught me better than to believe that!

The Bible is your word - but it is not your final word and you never meant for it to be understood literally. If Paul had realised he was going to be quoted for the rest of time, he would have undoubtedly chosen some of his words with more care! (The same can undoubtedly be said of Ezekiel and one or two other authors) The TRUTH of Scripture is not literal, it is alive: real truth is so much more than plain facts.

So I read with joy the following report in the American New Scientist

Almost 13,000 Christian clergy have done it. Nearly 500 Jewish rabbis have too. Now, Islamic teachers, or imams, have begun signing an open letter declaring that there is no clash between their religious faith and evolution.
The Imam Letter, launched this week in the US, is the latest challenge to fundamentalists of the three Abrahamic religions who reject evolution in favour of creationism. The Clergy Letter was launched in 2006 and now has 12,725 signatures, followed three years ago by the Rabbi Letter, which has 476 signatures.

So at least some leaders of each of the three great faiths of the Book are united in the great battle against idiocy. It's a small start I know but could we dare to dream that in the not too distant future young and old will rise to the challenge set out in Scripture to grow and flourish as you desire us to. Will the world finally be free of the despotic idiotic presentation of you as the God who punishes thought and questions, doubt and insecurities, the God who is determined to keep humanity submissive and simple! (How on earth such people have ever squared this image of you with the fact that you also gave us mathematics and science I have never quite been able to fathom!)

Can we dare to dream of the day when Dawkin's savage ignorant God dies!

YES, YES and again YES!

And the best of all is, when we stop pitting reason against faith, when we stop demanding that people throw away their brains when they enter the Church, when we stop trying to defend you(?!) from the enlightened questions of your created offspring - then, and only then, will we understand what love really is.

Love that is blind is an easy love to hold on to. It is not the love of the cross which saw the pain and shame and yet still chose to love. If Jesus did not know what he died for - he died in vain. If he was not aware of the cost - it cost nothing - if his love was blind, it was no love at all.
Love which is pure faith is not the love of the Spirit which leads us into all truth about ourselves and then still demands us to love ourselves - completely. If all that we needed was the Good News of Christ, then why was the Spirit sent? If all that we needed was the Bible, why bother with the gift of tongues? If all that was said and done was all that you ever intended for us to know - why does the Spirit continue to breathe new life into your people, and impart new gifts of grace for this age?

Above all this - Love that does not dare to question is not the love of Christ who demands to know - 'why have you forsaken me?' Your love does not, nor has it ever, belittled the pain and suffering of your people. We hear from your own lips the question so many need the answer to. And in response we learn to listen as you plead in your love for us 'How long will you forget me?'

Reasonable rational knowing love, love which is not afraid of the questions as well as the dreams and aspirations of the other is the love that you ask of us. Not the love of a supplicant, fearful and afraid to do anything else, nor the love of the mindless adherent, empty and ignorant of why they do what they do. But the love of a child, trusting yet inquisitive, determined to grow and become all that they can be. Delighting in discovery, enjoying being teased by the puzzles and riddles you set them, and spellbound by the parables and the stories you tell.

This is the love that flourishes and lasts forever - for there is an eternity of mystery to explore and you seem to delight in the processes of revelation.

You are not unknown to me God- and I too struggle with the concept of resurrection, but nonetheless. you hold me enthralled by the very opportunity to discover more! I do not yet know what knowledge is, or understand how I know what I claim to know- epistemology is as much of a riddle to me as resurrection - but I am keen to try and make the leap from reason to faith and back again as required in order to gain the greater prize of a love that I can comprehend.
So thank you God for the way in which you continue to open my mind to the potential for greater understanding - for insisting that growth in grace and holiness includes growth in knowledge and understanding.
I look forward to learning more.

World Methodist Council seeks Youth and Young Adult Coordinator

2011-05-11T08:43:00.000+01:00

The position of Youth and Young Adult Coordinator for the World Methodist Council involves the following priorities:
1. To provide continuity and sustenance of World Methodist Council youth and young adult programs.
2. To provide pro-active communication among World Methodist Council member church youth & young adult ministries as well as area youth & young adult networks.
4. To assist in the building of leadership among youth and young adults.
5. To facilitate and coordinate interaction among youth and young adult leaders around the world, enabling them to interact with each other.
JOB DESCRIPTION
1. To serve as the channel of coordination and communication among national and regional youth and young adult organizations belonging to the Methodist and Wesleyan tradition.
2. To act as the representative of the World Methodist Council youth and young adults in appropriate programs and activities related to the World Methodist Council in general.
3. To lead the implementation of youth and young adult programs as planned by the Council’s Youth and Young Adult Committee.
4. To initiate programmatic thrusts for youth and young adults in relation to the vision and goals of the World Methodist Council.
5. To promote and advocate World Methodist Council youth and young adult programs for purposes of financial support from various possible sources available.
6. To liaise with ecumenical and other relevant youth and young adult organizations.
7. The Youth and Young Adult Coordinator must report to the General Secretary of the World Methodist Council.
8. To serve as an ex-officio member of the World Methodist Council Youth and Young Adult Committee.
9. To perform such other functions as necessary in the attainment of the goals of the World Methodist Council and the Youth and Young Adult Committee.
REQUIREMENTS
May be up to 35 years of age at beginning of the five-year term. Active membership in a member church of the World Methodist Council for at least 5 years. Leadership experience with young people within the church on regional or national levels. Education, skills and talents appropriate for the successful performance of duties and responsibilities of the job. Preferably with the ability to communicate effectively in written and spoken English, and ability to communicate in at least one other language. Ability to travel internationally.
LOCATION
The position may be based in the country where the Coordinator chooses to live or at the World Methodist Council Headquarters in Lake Junaluska, North Carolina, assuming the following conditions are met:
o Easy access to an international airport.
o Strong communication infrastructure (reliable telephone, internet, postal service, etc.).
o Office (administrative) support from a World Methodist Council member church or regional network.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
This is a part-time position for the five years of the quinquennium beginning in 2016.
SELECTION PROCESS
The World Methodist Council will widely publicize the position opening to all member churches and youth and young adult networks. Applications will be sent to Dr. George H. Freeman, General Secretary, World Methodist Council, P. O. Box 518, Lake Junaluska, NC 28745 USA, by June 15th, 2011, and presented to the Selection Committee. The Committee will review the applications and recommend the candidate to the Council for election.
Applications should include: resume or curriculum vitae, supporting letters from an active Bishop/Church President, the candidate’s pastor/minister, and youth or young adult organization (national, regional, conference).

British Candidates - you might want to talk to the Chair or Secretary of the British World Methodist Committee (Luke Curran or Anne Vautrey) or to Chris Elliott (Connexional Secretary) at Methodist Church House. Any difficulties - let me know.

This really is a GREAT opportunity to play in important role for the whole Methodist family.

Ground Zero and the meaning of death.

2011-05-05T08:44:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,

When president Obama visits Ground Zero today, he will meet with representatives of the families of the victims of the September 11th terrorist attack. In so doing, he will underline the importance of the deaths which occurred on that day to every American. Although they did not choose to die, and I doubt had any desire to become martyrs to the American way of life, nonetheless their deaths forever changed the history of world.

But what is it that makes some deaths more meaningful than others? Why, for example, are the deaths of the victims of 9/11 any more 'life-bearing', any more worthy of national and international respect and consideration, than the countless thousands who die before their time every year in America and throughout the world through want of proper health care, or through gun crime?

The names of those who die from curable diseases, from famine, flood or tornado, who also did not choose to die, are not carved in stone. They often have no memorial, no 'Ground Zero' to draw people's attention to their loss, but surely they are as much victims of providence as those who died on 9/11? Their lives were just as important to you God, and to them as those of the victims of 9/11 - but apparently they are not as important to us. Why not?

Is it simply that all the deaths from 9/11 all occurred at the same time, at the same place?
Is collective death more important than individual death?
Or is it just that it is more visible?

We have come to believe that death should be a private family affair, something that occurs at the end of a long and fruitful life. We should die surrounded by our loved ones, in no pain or distress, with a priest or a minister to hand to assist us as we transition to the life after death promised to us in the Scriptures.

Public deaths are abhorrent, terrifying and offensive to us, they force us to see our own mortality, our vulnerability. They don't allow us to excuse ourselves and look away. They teach us the truth of the saying 'there but for the grace of God go I' and how little control we actually have over whether we live, or die.

Ground Zero has become a public monument to the mortality and vulnerability of every human being. Including Osama Bin Laden! It is a reminder that no matter how charismatic, powerful or wealthy a person or a nation becomes, death can still come suddenly - like a thief in the night - and steal away the future hopes and dreams.
Through the death of Osama Bin Laden, it may be possible eventually to prevent more terrorist attacks, more public, collective deaths. The Western 'way of life' may be a little more secure. Unless of course, the real threat to it lies, as it always has, in our refusal to see, and be changed by, the thousands of silent. hidden, passed-over deaths of the poor and the hungry in our midst.

The execution of justice

2011-05-02T08:15:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
I woke to scenes of ghastly jubilation on the TV, people singing and dancing in the street, shouting and cheering in joy at the death of one man Osama Bin Laden. He, his son and one other were killed in their home in Pakistan last night, by American special forces. In the words of Barak Obama - Justice has been done.
I can understand the killing of Osama Bin Laden in a raid gone wrong - I can even understand the immature 'wanted dead or alive' mentality.
What disturbs me, no - terrifies me, - is the jubilation over this death.

I believe the scenes we are witnessing in America this day are more of a tangible threat to the survival of our way of life than Bin Laden's threats ever were. What we are seeing in Obama's smile and in the crowd's spontaneous celebration is more dangerous to the rest of humanity than the pseudo religiosity of Al-Qaeda ever was for it exposes the death of international justice and liberty on the altar of offended American nationality. As Obama stated - 'We can do these things not because of wealth or power but because of who we are'. Or put more succinctly 'Might is right' and 'If you hit me no matter how long it takes, or wherever you try to hide - I will find you and hit you back, so hard you will never dare to hit me again, and no, I couldn't care less why you did it.

Obama ended his gloat with the words 'God bless America' and I found myself praying God, that you would find some way of helping him and the American people see how sickening this obvious delight in the death of a man is: Bin Laden is dead, justice has been denied the families of the victims of 9/11, of 7/7 and of all the other atrocities around the world, attributed to this man. Bin Laden was wanted by MANY countries, not just by America. The whole of the Western world has been robbed of the chance to hear an unedited account of why this man felt justified in waging his war on its way of life. The proponents of liberty and international justice are forever denied the opportunity of bringing this man to trial - of judging him according to the legal moral and ethical codes that they insist underpin western societies.

As hard as it is to accept, regardless of what the man did, regardless of how many he killed, maimed or destroyed, justice demands a proper account and judgement of those crimes, not a government sponsored lynching.

killing is not justice - it is the denial of justice.

The celebration of Bin Laden's killing merely exposes the lie that justice was ever intended.

The perverse delight at Bin Laden's execution sits alongside people's acceptance of the illegal concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay and the disgusting use of waterboarding and other forms of torture, as proof positive that Al-Qaeda has won the war.

Justice and liberty are dead.
They were destroyed in 9/11

And I am afraid God, that all that remains is a sort of perverse despotic democracy which lives a lie of liberty and which is slowly but surely spreading across the globe like a cancer.

God help us.

Empty Chairs and Empty Tables

2011-04-17T19:28:00.000+01:00

Good evening God,
I just wanted to say thank you for today - for the inspiration and the courage to challenge the congregation as to whether or not they are a Palm Sunday people - all in favour of the big parade, but unlikely to follow through with any real commitment. The Church will die unless a new generation of officers and class leaders come forward and learn how to tell our stories and share the good news.

Panic, Perfection and the Word of God.

2011-04-14T17:26:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon God,
Did you ever wonder if you would survive long enough to die?
I ask, because it's about this time in the run up to the festival of Easter that I often think I'm not going to make it - so many home communions to do, so many services to write, so many people to visit, so many things to buy/organize/make/plan in order to make sure that THE day (actually - let's be honest here - the hour) manages somehow to communicate something of the wonder, mystery, joy and power of what you did 2000 years ago.

At this moment in time, I could take heart from the idea that you might have gotten a little 'fretful', that you might have worried (even if only for a moment) about missing something. It would help me to feel that there were split seconds when you had small doubts, were you sure you had said all you wanted to say - all that was necessary to enable us to piece it all together again later?
Were you confident that you were 'ready'?

Were you human enough to want everything to be perfect - and human enough to panic that it might not be?

Planning great moments which celebrate both life and death demands breathtaking courage and audacity doesn't it. The celebration of Holy Week and Easter has to be genuinely emotive enough to liberate tears and smiles, yet rational enough to sustain more than just the heart in the days and weeks that follow. It has to be simple enough to understand, yet complex enough to carry truth, mystery and awe.. and all this without artifice!

It's at times like this that I really understand, value and appreciate Scripture.

When I don't have the words, I find you do - when I've run out of contemporary stories and illustrations, you supply me with your Word and ask me just to let it be read -
You teach me, year on year, to trust that it has your power to move, liberate and mystify.
It is, after all, by your grace, not by my exposition that people will be saved.

So.. before the real panic begins, before the stewards and the organists, the readers and the flower arrangers all start.. before the ink is dry on the orders of service for Maundy Thursday with its 7 different readings, and for Good Friday with its complete reading of the passion story - let me say thank you for your Word.

It tells YOUR story better than I ever could.. and spares me the embarrassment of trying to improve on perfection.

Bless you God

Healthy Circuits?

2011-04-11T10:08:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,
at Synod on Saturday we were treated to a discussion starter document entitled 'Marks of a Healthy Circuit'. It is based on the premise that 'In London we know that our members' diversity of experience in different denominations and Connexions means that what a Circuit is and how it works is not always fully understood'. In order to help us understand the nature of a Circuit better therefore, this document outlines seven marks of a healthy circuit 'as a basis for thought and discusssion and to help understanding as circuits face urgent questions about their future'.

It certainly does provoke discussion.
If Saturday's conversations can be used as a judge there are a variety of different ways of understanding what does, and does not constitute a 'healthy' circuit. The District really is to be congratulated on having produced such a provocative document.

As an example - mark number 1

A Healthy Circuit has:
An effective Staff Team of between 5 and 8 ministers or full time staff.

'it is clear that one of the big gains in Circuit mergers has been the increased quality of staff fellowship, support and teamwork'.

Apparently - fewer than 5 can lead to 'major difficulties' in the case of ill health,sabbaticals and 'relationship issues'.

I agree it is certainly easier to keep relationships light, non-confrontational, non-informative and polite when there are enough people in the room to divert attention away from key issues. It's a lot easier for example, for a person in a group of 8 to stay silent and unnoticed for an hour than it is for a person in a group of three or four. I am also inclined to agree that many of the problems in circuits stem from conflicts amongst the circuit staff, but I'm not sure the answer is to create a situation where they can be ignored hidden, minimized or disguised. And what about the role of the laity, of Supernumerary and sector ministers - are they not part of the 'team' with a role to play in resolving any such issues? What would St Paul say about such issues,what is our calling in such circumstances?

Similarly - it is suggested that more than 8 staff can create a loss of team focus and accountability - so how on earth does a circuit meeting which is larger and more diverse, hold focus and accountability?
Last - but by no means least - a staff team of between 5 and 8 creates better training opportunities and the possibility for diversity in gifts and graces.

And of course - there is the problem that none of this applies particularly well to fresh ways of being circuit (see Conference report in 2008)

Thinking about all this theologically - I guess the first thing I would want to say is that Mark 1 of a healthy circuit could do with being about YOU God, not about ministers!
Something about a willingness and a commitment to work together to serve God and engage in the mission of God to this circuit.

In general, I think we need to take the focus off the HOW and onto the WHY.. if we really want to inspire people to create healthy(?) - missional circuits which are able to help the District fulfill the mission statement we adopted on Saturday.

I think it is a brilliant idea to produce such a document - we DO need to look carefully at circuits (which is why the Connexion produced a report about the missional nature of the circuit)

I would just want to make a plea for it to be a CHURCH document - ie a theological document, focused on YOUR work God, not ours, and so something that takes into account important considerations such as the quality of Worship, the provision of the means of grace, the equality of ministry, the commitment to social justice and growth in grace and holiness for all your people - the obligations of membership and the responsibilities of good stewardship, the MISSION of the circuit as part of the District.

I think I would want it to spell out how it relates to the discipline and doctrine of the Connexion - and how adopting it can help us to become a more missional, inspirational people and a more effective witness to your gospel. (That might even help people to understand what CPD is all about!)

All of which is just a case of making explicit what is largely implicit in what we have been given. So, I really do want to thank you God, for giving us people who care enough about your Church to want to wrestle with it and engage with it, and persuade us to do the same - in order that YOUR will be done.

The death of an idealist and the birth of an unhappy pragmatist.

2011-04-08T10:02:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
It's depressing to contemplate how much of my life has been lived as a lie. Unintentionally I grant, but a lie nonetheless. I actually believed in the work I have been doing, in the theology behind it, in the doctrines that motivated it and the passion for you which was supposed to have inspired it. Worse than this - I taught it to others; shared the lie, encouraged them to believe and want to live the ideal of Connexionalism; to take up the challenge of serving you as a minister in the Methodist Church.
There is no finer calling, I told them, than to serve you by loving your people.

God - do I feel a fool!

It's taken a while, but I finally understand Don Cupitt and his insistence that it is perfectly possible to have a vacant faith - to practice religion as a social rite rather than an expression of faith, to 'do the job' rather than live the life of a servant of Christ. To be an almost Christian as Wesley would say - and to be perfectly happy in it - indeed to argue for it as being the most sensible, practical way of surviving in ministry today. It certainly has the potential to reduce the heartache and preserve some integrity when ministry is more like a job than a calling and vocation.

I only have myself to blame. I allowed myself to be seduced by the theology of the priesthood of all believers, to be intoxicated by the idea of truly representative ministry, where lay and ordained sought to model the coming kingdom by their work together in the circuits and local churches. Circuit ministry was different from Parish ministry I believed: diakonia, collegiality and collaborative leadership - lay and ordained - was written into our structures. Connexionalism bound us together in an outlandish equality before you God. Small rural churches were deemed as important to the body of Christ as large suburban churches were: a probationer minister was paid the same basic stipend as the President of Conference. Yes there was a hierarchy of sorts, but it tended to be based on respect and seniority, earned through fidelity to the Gospel and the service of your people rather than granted by job title. We were all under the same discipline of the Church which called us to a life of scriptural holiness and social justice.

Of course this was all an ideal - and yes - Of course I knew this - I'm not THAT much of an idiot: but it did seem to me at one time that it was an ideal, a model, that the Church was still holding up and striving for: The reconfiguration of the representative session of Conference as a means of ensuring parity between laity and clergy being but one recent example.

But I think I was mistaken. The dream was mine.

I can find little evidence in what I read of our new structures, disciplines, and forms of ministerial oversight of a theology that can be reconciled with a search for truly representative ministry or with the doctrine of the priesthood of all believers. To take but one example - gender equality : we have to concede that the number of women superintendents is declining, not increasing. Team focus has apparently led to a significant reduction of women in positions of leadership at Connexional level, and we are a long, long way from parity at District level. Have we unwittingly been walking backwards, by forging on with the management of our priorities without thinking through how this might impact on the practical outworking of our core doctrines?

In our determination to be 'better' more coherent, more financially responsible and personally accountable are we unknowingly developing a blindness to our theology, to our calling, to our purpose and identity?

I'm not sure what the dream of this once great movement is now, the priorities tell us what we have agreed we will spend our time, money and resources on - but they say very little about why. We are committed to making new disciples of Christ - but to do what? What is the ultimate goal of all our restructuring, management and mission? What is the PURPOSE of our priorities and how does that UNITE us in one common calling or identity?

There are some great things happening at every level of the Connexion. Fresh ways of being Church are springing up at local level, new and alternative ways of being circuit are being discussed and implemented, Districts are finding creative and innovative ways of encouraging lay leadership, and at Connexional level we are seeing some real fruit - the youth participation scheme, the new free resource Talking of God the Venture FX project, and not least, the wonderful wonderful way in which the media and joint public issues teams are working to try and give the work of Christ a voice that will be heard, must be heard..

And for as long as I live, I too will continue to try and play my part in making the priorities a reality - albeit differently. No longer the idealist, more the unhappy pragmatist. (Wesley would be proud)
For where can I go Lord - you have the Words of eternal life.

So I will celebrate and rejoice in the good that I see, and pray earnestly that you will find some way to speak to us and get us to speak more of YOU. That you will inspire us and fill us with confidence once again in simple words like love, trust, respect, faith and hope and point out to us why it is these things that abide - long after models of leadership, management and governance have been changed once again. That you will remind us that you called us to be a movement - not a monument, to work with you for the building of your kingdom, not our structures, and that in Christ, there is neither chair, nor synod secretary, superintendent nor circuit steward, neither lay nor ordained... just your people.

And maybe, just maybe God, the prayer will challenge me to believe in Connexionalism again.

Supervising - or Pastoring - the difference matters

2011-04-07T10:22:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Can you please explain to me why the Church feels the need to Supervise its ministers rather than provide them with Pastoral Care?
When I worked in industry, when I employed people with job descriptions and measurable outcomes and provided a foot in the door for young people on YTS or BTEC or similar programmes, supervision meant comparing expected measurable outcomes against achieved outcomes.
If the company expected 20 units a day to be tested or put through quality control and the person being supervised only managed 15, then we could have a conversation about whatever it was that was causing the difference. Supervision allowed the person being supervised to compare how they thought they were doing to how the company thought they were doing. It allowed us to identify future training needs and to give praise where praise was due.
Supervision was always a two way process - but I was never under any illusions about which way power was slanted: as the employer, it was the supervisors assessment of the area under supervision that mattered - not the employee's. We could talk all we liked, and I was always open to hearing constructive criticism about the working of the company - but in the end - it was not the company that was being supervised. This is what made it perfectly possible and acceptable for employees to be supervised by line-managers and a member of the Human Resources team - both of whom could be (and often were) less experienced and less knowledgeable about the actual work being done by the employee than the employee was. They had taken a course in supervision - and it really didn't matter what the employee thought. Supervision was never about a relationship of equals, or even first among equals. Super-vision implies that the person conducting the interview has greater ability to 'see' what has been and needs to be done than the person being supervised.(i.e. seen by this superior vision)

My first Superintendent was a senior minister, someone who had spent their entire life in the service of the Church. He knew the joys and the sorrows of circuit ministry. He knew what it was like to be loved into the work, and what it was like to love the work in spite of those you are called to serve. He didn't 'supervise' my probation - he provided genuine pastoral care: Honesty where it was needed, advice where it was asked for, and support and encouragement to develop and grow further. He walked with me, not once a year at a staged supervision - but weekly as we met in staff meetings. I learned and grew as a minister by listening to my colleagues discussing ministry, by sharing in prayer and learning how to be open and not possessive or defensive about my own calling, We shared the contents of our diaries and watched over one another in love. He inspired me, by his pastoral care of me, to become all that I could be in your service God - even though my own particular gifts and graces were very different from his. The only power at work in all this that I was ever conscious of, was your power God.

The Church's most recent vote of no confidence in its circuit ministers means that we are set to turn Superintendents into line-managers and supervisors. At a stroke we deny the theology of pastoral care which once meant so much to us and create a sub-structure of the Church in direct contradiction with one of the most fundamental aspects of circuit ministry - collegiality. As a line manager and the person designated to conduct the annual supervision, the Superintendent ceases to be a colleague, a fellow minister, the 'first among equals' described in the 'What is a superintendent' report. Instead the Superintendent becomes the boss, the record keeper of a minister's attempts to measure up to some unwritten 'measurable outcomes' of ministry - and the (potentially unqualified) judge of their performance. So who will pastor to the pastors - because supervision is NOT pastoral care. There is nothing 'pastoral' in supervision, nothing 'gracious' or deliberately of you God - supervision is a performance indicator - nothing more and nothing less. And I doubt that it will be too long before annual supervision reports are held in the new personnel files for ministers.

I hate to think that I will end my ministry outside of the discipline of my Church - but I object to the very idea of being 'supervised' in the manner currently being proposed. I am opposed to it on both theological and practical grounds. Will I reflect on my ministry - of course, I have been and always will be a reflective practitioner: will I do so with my Superintendent as part of a formal, recorded annual supervision of my 'performance' in the Church - I very much doubt it. Why not - because it may be good management - but its just not good pastoral ministry.

I am happy to reflect on my ministry with an experienced practitioner and spiritual director and to then share those reflections with colleagues in staff meetings as part of our pastoral care of one another. I am happy to be held accountable to my colleagues and to the Circuit meeting for the conduct of my ministry - isn't that what circuit ministry is?

I do understand why the Church feels that it needs to introduce supervision - its a neat, tried and tested way to bring employees to heel and maintain discipline amongst the work force. It allows the managers to set standards and outcomes and task the workforce to ensure that those outcomes are achieved to the desired standard.

And it's so tempting to think that that will solve our problems out in circuit. There can be no denying that we do have a problem, the increase year upon year in discipline cases tells its own sorry story - as do the terrifying tales of abuse of care in circuits. But am I alone in wanting to challenge the very idea that something that so completely undermines the theology and value of circuit ministry and the collegiality of ministry is the best answer we can come up with? Make no mistake, I believe it is important that ministers do reflect and are held accountable for their ministry: But is 'Supervision' by the superintendent really the best way to achieve this?

If, as a Church we have problems with discipline - then why not deal with the root cause of it.
Might our problems be caused by the practice of sectional instead of circuit ministry? We now actively encourage the idea that the minister is assigned to a Church or Churches rather than to a circuit as part of a circuit team. Is this because we are too 'busy' or unwilling to practice 'circuit ministry - to meet regularly - to spend time in prayer and conversation with one another - to watch over one another in love - and yes, that does mean censure one another where appropriate?

On second thoughts God - perhaps the Church is right - it's just so much easier and neater to supervise staff once a year..
after all - who needs pastoral care?

District Superintendents - What's in a name?

2011-04-01T08:46:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
I've been wondering as I read through this month's council papers what difference will a change of title make to the work of the Church.
On it's own - probably very little, but joining up some dots provides a very interesting picture.
The structure of the British Methodist Church is four-fold. We have Local Churches, Circuits, Districts and the Connexion or Conference depending on how you want to think about it.
This provides us with Ministers, Superintendents, District Chairs and the Conference/Connexional Team presided over by the President and Vice president of Conference and the General Secretary and Connexional team secretaries.

Contrast this with the largest Methodist denomination - the United Methodist Church who have a different sort of four-fold structure of local Churches, Districts, Conferences and General Conference.
This is served by Elders, District Superintendents, Bishops and their General Secretaries - one for each Global Board.

Now add into this mix the 'Regrouping for mission' or 'Mapping a way forward' programe of British Methodism which is an encouragement to create circuits as large (if not larger) than many Districts were. Add the call to change the names of our District Chairs and Connexional Team secretaries.. and what do you get?

Could it be a gentle but inevitable and predictable mapping of the UK Methodist structure to the UMC structure..?
Circuits are slowly disappearing, being replaced by smaller Districts overseen by District Superintendents. (the name change suggested for chairs) Our Connexional Team being headed by Connexional Secretaries with particular areas of responsibility.

Which leaves only one more office/name change - and we have already been warned that we will have to make some bold and difficult decisions about the episcopate - Bishops.
Only, in our case, the current thinking seems to be that the preferred choice (of those who want bishops!) would be the President of Conference: a presiding Bishop (just like in the UMC)

This is not 'conspiracy theory' this is just joining dots and seeing what pictures emerge. A linking together the consequences of our reports and actions to see where they might possibly take us. I may well be wrong - but its fun to do and an exciting prospect nonetheless.

Of course the dots could also be seen as preparation for fulfilling the current Anglican/Methodist covenant. The loss of circuits and a mapping of smaller 'Districts' to Deaneries where District Superintendents become area Deans and the president of Conference becomes the Bishop. (But this picture is much less 'artistic' and 'fun' to draw - in my opinion.)

The name changes and the push for the removal of circuits by the 'regrouping for mission' program do seem to suggest that strategically thinking, the UMC is the most likely candidate for future belonging and collaborative work.

Personally, as I have stated before I would rather see British Methodism relate more closely to the UMC. If we are going to enter into covenants or consider greater collaboration then why don't we look to other Methodist denominations first? The UMC approach to ministry, their unashamed ownership of Wesleyan theology, their evangelistic zeal and commitment to world wide mission have much to offer us: And we have much to offer the UMC - not least our greater inclusivity in ministry and membership and our commitment to combined social justice and political activism.

So it would seem there might be three options on the table:

Fulfill the Covenant with the Anglican Church and become a Methodist Concordat within the Church of England
Gently merge with the URC
Become the British Conference of the United Methodist Church.

Add to this the ecumenical programs of both the British Methodist Church and the United Methodist Church and the picture becomes even more interesting. It could well be possible to fulfill the basic requirements of the Covenant AND our current relationships with the URC - by being part of the international dialogue between the Methodists and these denominations.

So what's in a name God?

Well, in my opinion these changes might open up the future and enable British Methodists to recognize that they are part of a massive world-wide movement based on the theology of grace given to us by Wesley.
They suggest a common structure throughout world-wide Methodism and so may provide access to the ecumenical relationships that exist between global rather than local denominations. This might be a faster route to the interchangeability of ministry than the Covenant.

And they make great fun for people like me, who like to guess where we might be going in the future - and how we might be getting there.

Not that there is any real evidence of any deliberate action being taken for any of this to happen of course.

Just a bit of fun - but the change of name gets my vote as a step in the right direction.

Thinking theologically about British Methodism Ltd.

2011-03-30T08:36:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Yes.. I've simmered down a little - enough at least to begin to think this through theologically rather than just emotionally. I want to get at the root of what really disturbs me in the way in which our Church is now being managed: I have, after all, been a great advocate of British Methodism, our theology and polity alike... So what is it that distresses me so much?

It's your seeming absence God.
Its the way in which all the things that bind us together as Church rather than institution, are so often missing from our communications, the Scripture, the theology, the faith hope and love.
Instead we have summaries of impact including risk assessments of what we propose to do...
It's the way in which we seem to have so little confidence in your ability to lead us that we are determined to do it all ourselves.

We have decided our priorities
We have fixed the buget
We have created our governance structures
We have rewritten our language and modus operandi
All of which now allows us to determine how best to 'manage' the work of your Church - and decide what work we will do - and how to communicate it - based on OUR priorities of course, and the money available.

It can appear God, from our Conference and Council papers, that we have decided we can do quite well at being the British Methodist Church, without you.

I know that there are good, well meaning and capable people working within Methodism at every level - circuit through to Connexional team. People who are committed to serving you God to the best of their ability. Even those within the Connexional Team who have no faith or are of a different denomination, are required to uphold the stated priorities of the Methodist Church. The things that distress me are not their fault! They work hard at their jobs/ministry.

I cannot blame one individual or group of individuals or governance level for what distresses me now - I can only blame the apathy of the Methodist people themselves.

We have allowed this seemingly inexorable slide into secular religion by taking no real notice of what is being done in our name. It's perfectly possible in British Methodism for members and ministers alike to pay no heed to what the Connexion is doing. But by ministers and members taking no interest in, and not challenging the reports presented to Conference we have allowed you, our faith, language and theology - our very identity - to be replaced by what can often appear to be a godless secular business, complete with tiered management structures, officers, secretaries, senior managers etc, professional business and financial correspondence and a grim determination to complete a merger with some other 'company' before we go bankrupt.

As a former managing director of three IT companies, I am all too aware of the necessity of good management in business. I approve of good employment policies, sound accounting and risk assessments.

But I don't believe your Church was meant to be a pseudo business. I find nothing in Scripture to support that idea, no model of Church or community that can be used to justify or uphold this current seeming obsession with fiscal management, risk aversion and irreligious language.

Scripture seems to say that Your Church is not a business - it is a body: a disabled body, I grant - but a body nonetheless. It is, you tell us, the body of Christ on earth. I recognise that because of who we are, it is still significantly limited in its abilities and restricted in its movement, especially when it is not properly formed, missing its feminine qualities, or when it is dis-eased and suffering. But it is YOUR body, not ours. You shape and form us according to your will.
So..
The life-blood of this body should be your Spirit, God - not money.
The body needs to be fed with your Word, not with our jargon.
This body needs to be held together by YOUR priorities - not ours!

But what does this mean in practice?
It doesn't mean that we throw away good practice in terms of oversight - but it does mean that we understand oversight less in terms of human resources, line management and power, and more in terms of pastoral care of the body of Christ.

It undoubtedly does mean we learn once again to 'manage' a little less and be prepared to take more risks - as you call us.. (regardless of the budget implications!)

It means being prepared to put YOUR priorities first - not ours, and learning once again how to speak the language of faith. How to communicate to one another in ways that also communicates your grace and your purpose rather than just our standing orders or budget implications.

It means being confident enough in your leadership of us to not need 'independent consultants' to tell us how well we are fulfilling our calling.

So yes - It means taking the focus off us, and onto your creation, your people.
And I guess that means not being ashamed of the name that you gave us, the Word that inspires us and the task to which you have called us.

We have nothing to do but save souls...

Do we really need independent consultants to tell us how to do that?

British Methodists Ltd.

2011-03-29T08:42:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
What does it say about a Church that invests so heavily in 'independent consultants' to structure and restructure its existence?
Looked at positively I would say it might help us to hear the opinions of those who have not yet come to Christ, to determine where we fail to persuade them of the good news. But of course, that's not the area that the independent consultants are looking at: what obsesses our Church at the moment is management, management and more management.

Managing Change, Managing vision, Managing Staff, Managing for the future, Managing Leadership, Managing policy, Managing training, and of course, Managing decline -

Dear God we are drowning in bad mangement, policies, reviews, restructuring, regrouping, reorganising - when surely all that is needed is good ministry - lay and ordained?

I don't believe that independent business consultants can help us out of the Methodist Church's current predicament of how to renew confidence in the gospel so that we proclaim it with conviction and hence inspire others to follow Christ.
I dont believe that independent business consultants can help us to make more disciples of Jesus Christ.
All they can do is highlight how insecure we are in our calling by recommending proposals that make us behave more and more like a corporate business. I wouldn't mind - if it weren't so obvious that this 'business' has no idea what product or service it is selling, but appears to exist merely to ensure that it exists!

We speak less and less about you God and more and more about how to manage our existence.

I don't blame the independent consultants for their recommendations - either at Connexional level or at District level - after all - we brought them in.

The blame lies fair and square on our own heads: The lack of confidence that YOU are leading us at every level of the Church, that you are with us, creates general uncertainty and makes us ask - where are we going, what should we be doing? But shamefully for a Church, we then turn to the secular world for inspiration and answers, rather than to you.

It's sort of obvious isn't it?
The lack of good pastoral care for one another leads to the necessary imposition of line management.
The lack of loud and clear inspirational proclamation of the Gospel in word and deed from ministers and members but especially from our appointed 'leaders', be they Connexional secretaries or District Chairs, leads inevitably to a confusion as to what we exist for - which filters down to every level.

And I have reached the stage where I alternate between anger and despair. Between wanting to resign my ministry, and wanting to fight for the right to minister according to how you have called me.
It's getting to the point where I no longer know whether I am supposed to be a minister or an employee of the Methodist Church. Do I now 'work' for the Methodist Church - or am I in a covenant relationship which allows me to fulfill my calling from you God?

As a minister, I can understand and accept the discipline of the Methodist Church. As an employee I would never tolerate such 'working conditions', but would be demanding that the terms of my 'employment' be revised to accord with European directives concerning work-life balance,

As a minister, I believe in the covenant relationship which means that the Church will safeguard my physical and Spiritual health and well being: that I will be 'watched over in love' and supported and enabled to do the work of God. ... but that's the real problem isn't it? I might believe in the Convenant relationship, but that doesn't make it real. It doesn't seem to work in practice as all too many ministers (including myself) have discovered, resulting in increased demands from some for a more 'secular' form of oversight.

Tell me God, is it too late to ask for and work towards being a connexional church where the Circuit Superintendent is a mature minister of 15 to 20 years who sees themself as the first among equals rather than a line manager? Where circuit staff, with circuit stewards, consider the work of God and the pastoral care of God's people the most important items on the agenda of any meeting? Where circuit leadership teams don't exist because the circuit meeting is still the place where decisions are prayerfully taken and where lay and ordained watch over one another in love and work together to ensure the necessary work of the Circuit is done? Where District Chairs are seen as the pastors to the ministers, rather than the disciplinarians of the District and where the Connexional Team exists to support and enhance the ministry of the whole people of God and knows that it is part of the wider Connexion, upheld by all in love and prayer?

The London District is exploring the option of replacing a Chair (we have 3) with a Chief Executive or other 'senior management' post at an appropriate time.. That just about says it all for me - for the Gospel to flourish we just need the work of the District to be better managed by a Chief executive.
Please God, do we really need so many tiers of governance and management for such a small Church? How on earth did we manage when we were a growing Church without any of this?
(could it be that we were a growing Church then precisely because we didn't have so many tiers of governance and management?)

I grieve deeply because the Methodist Church as 'Church' just doesn't make sense to me any more. Wesley would undoubtedly disown us on the grounds of our current polity and practice, and it seems almost offensive to refer to ourselves as 'Church' when we place so little confidence in Scripture, in your leadership, and in our ability to respond to your calling of us to proclaim the good news.

Perhaps its time to take one further recommendation from independent business consultants - We need to rebrand and rename ourselves so that people can understand what we are really about:
how about - British Methodists Ltd?
(with apologies to the original Methodists)

resurrection for Japan, and for Libya?

2011-03-19T10:11:00.000Z

Good morning God

The United Nations passed resolution 1973 yesterday calling for a ‘no-fly zone’ in Libya. Meanwhile a nuclear catastrophe is threatened for Japan following the earthquake and Tsunami just one week earlier.

These events are a painful reminder of how, if it is to mean anything at all, the Easter story of death and resurrection of must speak powerfully and truthfully, not just to the comfortable and contented, but to the distraught and distracted of this world.

Help me then God,

What would resurrection mean for the people of Japan? It certainly has to be more than a rebuilding of the thousands upon thousands of homes that were torn apart or washed away by the sea. Pristine new homes, all spic and span, are no substitute for the parents and children who were lost. A renewed economy similarly cannot make up for the countless workers that died. Resurrection is not renewal or rebuilding – it is something so much more. It is the inclusion of the old into the new. Christ still bore his scars after his resurrection. Resurrection is the transformation of pain and suffering, of death and destruction into God’s gift of hope and life. It does not dismiss wounds but incorporates them into the new fabric of life.

For the people of Japan, resurrection means that the death and destruction they have so painfully witnessed, is not the end. There is hope. What will emerge from this will not be the same, no – but it will not be empty of what has gone before either.

I am told God that you work in mysterious ways, your wonders to perform.

But what then of the people of Libya and the UN resolution? More challenging this for we need to ask what sort of resurrection is it that we hope for in Libya, that we are sending people to die for in Libya?

Is it a resurrection of Western imperialism or European colonialism, or an imposition of a Western style of government and its secular value system, or do we actually want a resurrection of the common humanity and unity of the Libyan people? Such a resurrection would certainly need to bear the scars of its past both cautiously, and consciously.

As part of the Easter story – it is important to ask at what point did the cry go up - ‘Crucify’ - and what coin helped to pay for it? Such a question causes us to reflect on what it is that motivates us to fear, murder and hatred.

Christ’s betrayal on Good Friday is a painful reminder us of how fickle humanity it – how one moment it is more than happy to ‘eat drink and be merry’ and the next, it bays for blood. This we have witnessed in all the events leading up to the UN resolution being passed, from Tunisia and Cairo through to the Bahrain and Libya: both in the actions of some of the protesters and in the obscene reactions of some of the so-called leaders.

The resurrection of Christ however, turns the world upside down precisely because it is not just a story. We can draw all the similarities and analogies we like, but in the end, the resurrection is all that we have to hope in. It alone promises that no amount of bloodshed or fear will keep the hunger for life in all its fullness at bay. It is a demonstration in history that no amount of protest or power politics can stop God’s plans for all of the created order – including humans. Even death itself will not stop the truth of human destiny. The simple fact is that the knowledge of what it means to be alive, to be a Child of God, will not stay buried. No matter how ‘mighty’ a people think they are, no matter how ‘right’ they believe themselves to be – YOUR will, WILL be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

The Commandments are clear and unequivocal. They are more binding than any United Nations resolution: They tell us we must:

love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength – and you shall love your neighbour – whoever he or she is – as you love yourself.

The resurrection gives hope because it reminds us that we are not commanded to hate, but to love, we are not asked to fear but to embrace. It is your claim that violence never wins – love, only love can win through in the end.

This Lent as we walk the path to Jerusalem with Christ, we can take heart from knowing it is no ‘fairy story’. There is real power in the promise of new life which it contains and phenomenal grace in the mercy that it shows to us. We might not yet have learned how not to crucify everything we are afraid of, we certainly haven’t learned yet how to stop trying to play God with the peoples of this earth, yet – even so - you do not seek our death. Instead, you offer us new life in Christ.

It’s easy to dismiss the resurrection as a myth, or a story or a scientific impossibility. It’s harder to live the sort of life where Christ’s resurrection is a daily reality. Yet when we do, neither earthquakes nor tsunami’s can shake us from God’s grasp. And our violence – no matter how convincingly justified or legalized – is transformed, dissipated by the knowledge that:

Christ has died

Christ is risen

Christ will come again.

Amen.

Libyan uprising - Condem posturing - the poor people suffering

2011-03-18T08:17:00.000Z

Good morning God,
Sorry God, I don't get it
This unrepresentative, unelected government, not content with slashing social services, and decimating the educational, health and support infrastructure and income of the poorest in the land - is now going to take this country further into debt by going to war against a third country.
So much for cutting the deficit!

It's not bad enough I suppose that we are cutting back on the armed forces whilst still losing troops in Afghanistan and struggling to fulfill our withdrawal obligation to Iraq..? Of course not - that was some other government's doing - how can any of that make Cameron look good?

No - We needed another country - preferably Arabian, preferably Oil Bearing, preferably Muslim to demonstrate Cameron's statesmanship and the great creed of the West - 'Might is Right.'

The hypocrisy of a wedding invitation to the Royal family of Bahrain - and a planeload of bullets and bombs for the people of Libya says it all with regard to this country's foreign policy.

Here's a novel idea
Can you persuade Cameron to be a REAL man? Help him to take the pat on the back (if you believe it is owed) for being the first to suggest a no fly zone - and then will him to step back.
let this 'no fly zone' be policed by the Arab states, not the Western World.

Help us God to ensure that we do not shed a single drop of Libyan blood in the name of the British people. (Hard to argue its in the name of the United Nations when it was Britain that pushed everything through the security council and Britain that seems to be chomping at the bit to get flying!)

God,
how can we remind Cameron that he has no more of a mandate than Gaddafi has to rule!

Forgive us God
forgive us

A Psalm of Earthquakes and Tsunamis

2011-03-11T08:45:00.003Z

O Lord, hear the cry of your people
as creation trembles and we are made small

The mountains are laid low and the seas rise
The planet shrugs its shoulders

The restless dirt groans and moans
under the weight of our living.

Crops and land are lost to the salt of the world's tears
Wave upon wave cascades over the face of your earth

Their weeping carries away
The witness of our living.

In one convulsive heave
pride and possessions, people and places

are shaken down by the land, thrown up by the sea
to be caught by the air:

tossed and turned, and returned
to the wave of anxiety

that crashes onward
An unstopable force of creation and destruction.

Though you called upon us to name the beasts of the field
And the birds of the air

Still the sea is yours
You made it - and its raging fury

The land is yours
You formed it - and its restless heavings

And we, moulded by your hands to hold your breath
are bound to this world by your will and your Word

So I will praise you God in the midst of the fury
From the depths of my grief, for the land and the sea and the lives that are lost

For the nurture and nature that shapes us and feeds us
Though its power astounds, and its might dismays us

Still your Word brings order out of chaos
And your mercies comfort and sustain us

Reminding us, even as we weep
of green pastures, beside still waters

Speaking the Word in truth

2011-03-10T09:01:00.000Z

Good morning God,
I am a great believer in the ability of good creative liturgy to assist us in discovering the meaning of some of the things we otherwise 'unthinkingly' do or say as part of our life of faith in the Church. One of the joys for me in Methodism is the freedom to use either our 'approved' liturgies - or our own. it speaks of a confidence in both the formal and informal means of grace. It also invites and encourages theological reflection on what we say and do, bearing in mind 'Lex Orandi - Lex credendi' (We believe what we pray).

But along with the invitation - comes the responsibility of ensuring that whatever we create conforms to the Gospel truth and to the doctrine of the Church - that we do not make a liar of Christ, for the sake of our sentimentality, or misuse the liturgy to control and manipulate the emotions of others.

The power of good liturgy to move people to laughter or tears, to bring them closer to you God, should be a testimony not to our inventiveness, but to the truth it conveys and to people's desire and willingness to be moved by you - and we forget this at our peril.

As a minister I have learned that it is frighteningly easy to craft a service that does manipulate the emotions of those attending through the careful choice of the spoken and responsive word, background music and songs, light, candles, visuals etc.. But is that what constitutes good worship? It may well bring more people to Church - but does it bring them any closer to YOU God? Meaningful worship needs to engage all the senses, yes - but it also needs to be truthful and coherent. It needs to be open to your intervention - during the worship - as well as during the preparation! It needs to speak your Word.
So - for me - it also has to be theologically sound.. it has to proclaim the good news in a manner and in a language that can be understood and truly heard.

Which means, yes - I am trying to teach the congregation to only use the more modern form of the Lord's prayer - and many dislike it. I try and refrain from dropping back into old English when I talk to you God, or share your Word in public - I want it heard and understood!
Above all - I avoid referring to you in the masculine.

Paying close attention to what the Church is saying in its liturgies however does cause problems (to whit my last post concerning Ash Wednesday) Asking yourself not only 'what do I mean by this statement' but 'what will be understood by this statement' is hard work. It is so much easier to simply accept - these are the ancient words of the Church - they must be sound.

And they probably were - for their time and their context.

But such attitudes are why we are still in the dark ages with regard to inclusivity - how long did it take to change the creed so that we stopped saying ' for us men and our salvation'..?
When the Reformation happened - much changed - but much of our liturgy stayed the same - or has reverted back to what it was, in spite of the fact that our liturgical context is so vastly different today.

There are those of course, who will say - and that's the way it should be. It certainly makes life easier, all I would have to do is follow the script.. say the words, perform the rituals, follow the rubrics.. 'Dont worry what you have to say...'

But I can't do that. You gave me a love of your Word and a love of your people and asked that I speak the one to the other so that they can hear it. You talk to me of prevenient grace, of the need for the door to be opened, the invitation made - and you ask me to state it, clearly and unambiguously, truthfully and faithfully. You insist that in worship as in all other things, my first obedience must be to you, not to the disciplines of the Church. I accepted that responsibility - with joy.

So I am compelled to continue to reflect on the words that I am asked to speak for others, and especially on the words I am asked to speak that purport to be on your behalf.
I repeatedly wrestle with the weight of tradition, and seek to find the balance - the pivot point where truth and integrity meet with wonder and majesty to proclaim the good news. You did not die 2000 years ago and stay dead! And your life, death, resurrection and ascension actually achieved something for us.

So I will strive to ensure the liturgy I speak is also a 'living' word - that it reflects your ongoing revelation to us of your love and grace, of sin and repentance, life in all its fullness, joy and perfect peace - now and always. Its not a comfortable - or popular thing to do - but its worth it.

The Death of Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T11:22:00.000Z

Good morning God,
I'm sorry God but I just can't bring myself to do it - to buy into the cult of death which periodically sickens your Church, and participate in 'ashing' with its dreadful proclamation: 'remember that you are dust and to dust you will return'

What sort of manipulative lie is THAT for the Church to be saying?

It is a complete and utter denial of the Gospel?
I am come, says Christ - that you might have LIFE in all its fullness, that your JOY might be complete - for whoever believes in me shall NOT perish but have everlasting life:

I don't care what some sixth century Pope said -
And I am happy that Christ - the second Adam (if you want to do this theologically) has 'saved me' from Adam's fate - so - whichever way you look at it:

I am not DUST - I am YOUR child God - and I refuse to let any man tell me different!

We do not have to follow the crowd - some 'traditions' are best ignored or at least transformed.

So given that I am required by my congregation to observe this offensive catholic rite I choose to change the tradition and celebrate Ash Wednesday differently:

I am happy to trace in water and oil the baptismal cross on the forehead of those who wish to mark their acceptance of the forgiveness of Christ. I am happy to reaffirm:
Remember - you are a Child of God, you always were, you always will be.

(yes, yes, I do know God that your grace is resistible, but even a 'fallen' child of yours is STILL your child, God)

And to conclude the 'rite' with a prayer adapted from the baptismal service

'Remember and take courage from the knowledge that for you

Jesus came into the world;

for you he lived and conquered death;

for you he prays at God’s right hand,

all this for you,

before you were even born.

You are a part of the congregation of Christ’s flock,

so never be ashamed to call yourself a Christian.

Rejoice, I say again - Rejoice

for you are a child of God.

Amen.

There will be ashes present for those who wish to ash themselves: But I can no longer bring myself to perjure my faith and the light of the Gospel to satisfy the longing for some for the Gospel to focus on death not life.
Death happens. It takes less than a second to actually die.
Now hear the GOOD NEWS
We are so much more than dust - we were made by you to hold your breath, your Spirit, your life, your love - for all eternity.

The turning of the worm?

2011-03-08T08:47:00.002Z

Good morning God,
Tell me, did you ever intend gender to be such a problem? When you created us, did you really think it would ensure a just and equal society if half of the people were treated as 'lesser mortals' than the other half? I ask because I've reached the point where I am past angry at the injustice - I am disgusted.

I recently learned that one of the most significant consequences of the 'Regrouping for mission' policy (aka mapping a way forward) is to decimate the number of women in leadership positions in our Church. Women simply don't apply for the Superintendency of these mega-circuits, especially not when it is a separated appointment. This means that in just a few short years we are in danger of setting back the equality of women's ministry in the Church by decades.

Sorry God - but I have to accept you made me, and you did so surely knowing that women are generally undervalued and disregarded in your Church (or more frequently - patronised and dismissed). Yes, I know that some women allow this to happen, but many more don't feel they have a choice - the Church has for too long proclaimed submissive behaviour to be the ideal female model.

Here's the bottom line God - I didn't choose to be female - and I didn't choose my vocation - you made me, you called me - as you have hundreds of other women - to serve in your Church, this community you gather and order.

And I am disgusted that so far we have achieved so little in the way of change - with this powerful combination of gender and calling.

It's time to ramp things up - and I don't mean incrementally.

We wont change the culture of the Church by focus groups or positive discrimination - we will only change the culture of gender injustice that is warping our faith by changing the underlying generative structures. So, no, I dont want another gender justice committee, I dont want more research, I dont want more gender awareness training.
I, for my part, am not content to say - but things are so much better than they used to be - I can do the theology and the math of the number of women involved in the life of our Church - but more importantly:

I am not content to be grateful for the past, You called me to live for the future and I want more.

I want Church leadership at every level that models the best Trinitarian practice; which does not try and invest in one man, the sole responsibility for vision or 'management, oversight and governance' but which invests in a truly equal and complementary team ministry of Lay, Diaconal and Presbyteral members, women and men working together.
I want an end to unrepresentative governance structures at the highest level.
I want an end to the unthinking super-efficient sexist business language (eg management, oversight, governance, risk aversion, clusters, focus groups, etc etc) which disempowers (to say nothing of disenchants) so many of our members - lay and ordained.
I want an end to the dominance of business and finance over our corporate spiritual life. You cannot serve two Gods...
I want the Church to consult with its members rather than paid business consultants - on the way in which it fulfills its calling, and on the 'well-being' of its members
I want a forum where it is possible for all members to participate in discussion and considered REFLECTION on matters before the Church, where people are not made to feel either guilty or disloyal if they disagree with the 'stated' opinion.
I want changes to standing orders which properly reflect the fact that there is more than one way of being church.
I want circuit ministry - ie an end to 'sectional' ministry rubber stamped by a circuit meeting.
I want a Deacon in every circuit - not as a ministerial substitute - but as someone essential to the Spiritual health of a circuit.
I want circuit plans that are designed to facilitate the means of grace, not just ensure that someone is taking a service at every church in the Circuit that week.
I want collegial accountability in ministry which is borne out of, and reflects, the ordinal not some consultancy firm's annual appraisal scheme.
I want an open and inclusive Church which welcomes people to become disciples of Christ and servants of your Church regardless of their gender, age, race, ethnicity, ability or sexuality
I want a Church that is confident enough in its own calling to not have to sell its soul or its belief in Gender equality in order to work ecumenically on the things that really matter - like evangelism and social justice.
I do not want the Church to be so slavishly TIED to the priorities of a previous generation that it becomes impossible to hear and respond to what the Spirit is saying to this generation.

Ok God - that's my neck on the line -
It's a tall list - but it's possible, some of it is already on the way - all it takes is an end to membership apathy and a heart for radical change.

Realised Ecclesiology

2011-03-05T18:22:00.004Z

Good evening God,
I've just spent the last 5 hours time travelling - into the future
I have been in April - by which I mean I have been busy preparing the Easter worship for the two Churches I am privileged to serve in the Kingston Upon Thames Circuit of the British Methodist Church.
I mention this because It set me to thinking about the rather strange realised ecclesiology - the 'now and not yet' of the Christian Calendar for the minister.
Tomorrow I will be putting everything I have into persuading the congregation to be a part of Lent - to take the trouble to engage with a programme of study or discipleship so that they come prepared to the cross and the wonder of resurrection. Over the next seven weeks, starting with Pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, members will have the opportunity to deepen their knowledge of Scripture through participating in the Big Read or deepen their discipleship through the Churches together in Britain and Ireland lent course 'The Unreconciled' or simply increase their awareness of Christian fellowship through Feast & Fast - a programme of shared meals with Lent conversations.

All of this was prepared months ago, before Christmas even!
And it's not over yet, for in order to ensure that membership classes are in place and the services are advertised and communicated - I am already having to prepare for Pentecost!!!

So whatever happened to living in the moment?
What space for spontaneity?

Is this what you meant by 'In the fullness of time?'
I do worry God, What room have I left for your Spirit to intervene and surprise us, transform us?

Like most ministers, I know the value and the importance of well prepared worship, but I can't help thinking sometimes that its all a little - well - a little contrived.
I do my uttermost to try and ensure that the worship creates space for each person to meet with you God, that means trying to be creative, informative, educated even, about the use of that precious one hour that we have together on a Sunday. I find myself hunting for the 'right words', for opportunities to create the 'right mood', for audio visual components which might underline the 'right meaning' or the 'right approach' - and all the time, I wonder - what would you have done? What do you want to say?

I think Jesus was lucky - he did Easter ONCE for ALL - we ministers have to somehow recreate or enable others to experience it every year. And woe betide the minister who does the same this year as they did last year - and woe betide the minister who doesn't remember - 'But we ALWAYS DO IT THIS WAY'.. and woe betide all ministers who come to Easter unprepared!
I well recall my first Easter as an ordained minister - I was so tired after a full programme of Holy Week services, Easter home Communion visits and three Easter Day services that by the time I came to the final discipleship celebration in the evening, I came out and wished everyone a happy Christmas!

And somehow it was right to do so.

There is something delightfully paradoxical about this 'now and not yet' dimension to worship preparation.. followed weeks later by worship celebration. Nothing else reminds me that you transcend all time, and all space, than the fact that the worship I prepare with you, weeks, sometimes months in advance, meets the needs of your people when it is prepared.
So thank you God, for time traveling grace
Thank you for your help in my preparations
But, any chance you could make sure I'm back in my own time to be able to catch the next episode of my favorite TV programme?
Before Easter?

My Musing on Ministry

2011-03-01T10:36:00.000Z

Good morning God,
Our General Secretary has been musing on ministry on the back page of the Methodist Recorder.. so I thought I would follow suit, and similarly wonder 'whether, if I had my time over again, I would become a Methodist minister'.
Like Martyn, my answer is yes, I still maintain that for me, there is nothing more fulfilling and rewarding than being a Methodist Presbyter or Deacon. But that's where the similarity ends, for whilst Martyn takes joy in the increased numbers and diversity of paid lay employees in the Church, I see nothing but the failure of the Church to embrace its inherited theology of the priesthood of all believers.

Let me be clear here, I do not mean to devalue or demean the work undertaken by the laity of the Church. neither do I wish to imply that there is no such thing as a calling to full time lay ministry. But the simple fact is that the rise of paid lay employees in the Church mirrors the decline of the ordained ministry and in many cases has much more to do with finances than any real strategy for mission or ministry.
The rise of the Lay pastor in the UMC tells the same story - the decline of the Church means that the Church can no longer afford to pay for manses and health insurance on top of stipends. The easiest solution is to employ someone to do the same job for less.

Am I being too cynical God?
Of course, in the UMC there is the added problem of Church elders (presbyters) also needing to be educated to Masters level BEFORE they begin their ministry. So - yes - an ordained elder of the UMC is more expensive than a lay pastor, just as a British Presbyter or Deacon is more expensive than a paid lay worker.

I guess I object on two grounds really:
Firstly I think that the movement towards an ever increasing number of professional 'lay ministries' represents a really shoddy abuse of the gifts of the laity and devalues what has historically been seen as lay ministry.
I too value and give thanks to you God for the way you continue to call men and women into both lay and ordained ministry but I now wonder how much longer will it be before the only people actively engaged in the work of the Kingdom insist on being paid for it?

I have to admit I would much rather that Churches and circuits didn't need administrators - I don't believe the amount of money and resources we spend, either locally or Connexionally on administration and management reflects well on us as a Church. To the outside world we are more like a people obsessed with structures, risk assessments, targets, committees and contracts than a people possessed by your Word and your Spirit God.
Also, the problem with employing youth workers, evangelism enablers, family workers, Lay pastors and pastoral assistants etc is that once they are paid to do the work, the rest of the congregation often seem to feel no need to develop their own skills in these areas. The overall effect is therefore to deskill the Church rather than to equip it.
We are in danger of creating passive congregations who are more entertained by their faith than engaged with it.

Who will take the Gospel into the workplace, into the schools and toddler groups, the markets, cinemas and pubs when those lay people with a heart for mission and evangelism are paid to work for, and focus on the Church?
Who will keep our theology and ecclesiology rooted in the communities we seek to serve in Christ's name when the laity no longer feel it is their job to undertake the very real ministry of networking and gossiping the gospel?

And so to the second reason - I grieve for my calling.
I grieve for the mismatch between what we say Presbyteral and Diaconal ministry is, and what it actually is in circuit. The rise of the professional lay employee has led to a mountain of administration, management and personnel work which the ordained ministry were never trained for and which is not a part of their calling. I am confused by the impression we are repeatedly being given by the Connexion that there is no value in our ordination, we can easily be replaced by someone cheaper who can 'do the job' just as well. Ordination is somehow presented as rather a nuisance for our Church financially, and administratively. The fact is that ordained ministers within our Church are increasingly being treated as employees - awkward ones, yes, but employees nonetheless - and not just because of the government's legislation either!

But above all this, I hate the impression that we are in danger of giving that the ministry of the whole people of God can be replaced by a team ministry of paid employees. The truth may be that there are fewer not more people now involved in the work of God in many of our Churches. Finding class leaders, junior Church leaders, local preachers, pastoral visitors, worship leaders, stewards and other Church officers becomes harder every year. "We pay other people to do that"

I am convinced that our Church's stated desire to increase discipleship will never succeed as long as we continue to employ lay people to hide our ministerial vacancies, disguise our financial predicament, or cover the passivity of our congregations.

So like Martyn, I too wait with anticipation to see what the Spirit will do with us all..
But I confess, I'm biased God, I still believe in ordained and lay ministry as being equal and complementary in value but different in calling and practice. I believe in a Reverend or a Deacon being allowed to be a Reverend or a Deacon wherever God has placed them. Just as I believe that neither can practice their calling without the support and full cooperation of the Laity.

The simple answer is that you called me by name - I am yours - and am still amazed that you called me to serve in the ordained ministry of your church.

So I look forward to a time when we can once again celebrate 'the ministry of the whole people of God', lay and ordained, not just that of the paid 'Leadership team'.
And I dare to dream of a whole congregation committed to mission and service in the name of Christ who will being people to YOU God - not just to the Church.

Six Degrees of Separation

2011-02-21T11:54:00.000Z

Good morning God,
I enjoyed playing six degrees of separation in yesterday's worship. Trying to make the links between the youngest member of our congregation and the queen was easy, as was finding a route to the Pope..
What was more provocative was making the link between any one of us and Ossoma Bin Laden, or the Yorkshire Ripper, or Doctor Shipman.. Realising how closely connected we all are to our worst 'enemies' put a whole new slant on the meaning of the lectionary lesson to Love our Enemies..
I do know that there are some that dispute the theory of six degrees of separation, but the problem is that the Church is so global and 'connected' that it's seldom a problem to achieve the desired goal in 6 or less relationships.

But it also started me thinking again about the difference between independence and interdependence. I am increasingly convinced that independence is the biggest 'sin' that there is. It is contrary to our nature and to our nurture. It distorts relationships (how can you possibly have a two way relationship with someone who is independent !) and leads to an unrealistic idea of self-worth and self-importance which can be soul destroying in so many ways.

If I am honest, I would have to admit that I loathe the very idea of being only six or less contacts away from our Prime Minister David Cameron at the moment.. until, that is, I began thinking about how that connectivity could be used to effect change in the areas that trouble me most - namely the unashamed recreation of the worst of the British Class system with its inherent injustice and base immorality.

There is something more powerful than politics about the fact that we are all interdependent - as we can see by the role that micro-blogging is playing in the protests and demands for democratic reform throughout the middle-east. People naturally feel stronger when they are aware of the fact that they are not alone... Humanity is changed when it acts as one. People change when they feel connected. Love flows easier, poverty really can be bested and fear defeated - by a genuine knowledge of our interdependence, of how we belong, one to another.

The fact is that WE are far more powerful and transformational than I can ever be.
And it is this of course. that makes the doctrine of the Trinity so powerful. It takes the I am and transforms it into an interdependence of grace from which flows our human sense of belonging and interdependence. I can still be all that I am, without needing to see myself in opposition to all that I am not. I can work with, not against, the forces that shape and form me, the contacts who help to define me and the relationships which nurture and develop me.

Interdependence does not strip us of anything - it does not take anything away from our uniqueness or gifts or graces - but it does add to who we are. It humbles us to learn we are connected to the worst in humanity as well as the best in society. That we are probably as closely linked to the people we despise the most, as we are to the people we admire the most. It helps keep a sense of perspective about who and what we are. I am connected to people who are immensely talented, and to people who see no value in their lives at all. I am linked to royalty and poverty alike, to Muslims, Hindus and Christians and to those of no faith.. I stand with those in Cairo, Libya and Bahrain because I am a part of humanity, not separate from it.

Whether I like it or not, I am linked to each and every member of the British government too.

So the challenge is now on to find a way to use that link to help shape and form JUST rather than unjust policies.

Bring back the 'Local' in 'Local Preachers'

2011-02-08T13:32:00.000Z

Good day God,
I want to say from the onset that I am genuinely glad that you keep calling people to proclaim your word. One of the most powerful signs that the Church has that you are still interested in us, is that you keep calling people to share with us the word of truth that you share with them.

But I'm getting increasingly confused as to how this 'sharing' is supposed to happen.
It used to be that a Local Preacher was able to preach to the Congregation by setting the gospel in their particular 'Local' context. The Local preacher would know what was happening in the lives of the congregation, what their concerns were, their hopes and aspirations.. they would be a part of the conversation of your people with you God, not set apart from it!

More and more it seems to be the case that local preachers have less and less to do with the congregations they preach to. Time, money (and perhaps some misplaced idea of the role and authority of the Local Preacher) has led to a situation where most Local Preachers seem to work in isolation on their service and sermon, as though the mission of the congregation is of no account.

I know that Faith and Worship tries to encourage those learning to preach to take account of the 'nature of the congregation' in terms of its age, ethnic composition etc.. but I'm talking about something far more fundamental than that. I'm talking about the MISSION of the congregation, the way in which worship is a means of grace, and what the congregation is hoping for from its encounter with your Word in worship.

Intentional or not, we seem, as a Church, to be encouraging a generation of 'hit and run' circuit preachers who visit the Churches and say what they want to say or believe you have called them to say - with seldom any thought to the conversation that congregations are already having with you. Which, can often mean that the 'service' is nothing more than a rude interruption and something which makes a mockery of the whole concept of a 'Local Preacher' no matter how good the sermon!

I believe that any Church can flourish as a result of the special diversity and contribution that Local preachers can bring when they work WITH a Church to provide worship which serves as a means of grace. When they bring their own unique perspectives to bear on whatever it is that the Church is trying to explore or promote as part of its mission and outreach, Local Preachers really can add to the richness of grace. But of course to achieve that wonderful fusion of your calling and the congregation's growth in grace and holiness means that a Local Preacher has to spend time with a congregation BEFORE they preach to them, BEFORE they have decided what it is they think you want to say to them. All that takes extra time and effort if they are not a member of that Church or if the Circuit is so big that the preacher seldom visits a Church more than once or twice a quarter.

I think most ministers would welcome the chance to work with a team of 'Local preachers' who are really 'Local' and who really do want their preaching to play a part in the local mission of the Churches in a circuit. I am sure I am not the only minister who wants Local Preachers to do more than read a letter that tells them who their steward will be and when the Junior Church are in or out.. Local Preachers can be a phenomenal resource for your work God, by helping congregations fulfill THEIR mission and grow in grace, rather than just letting them hear another sermon - (even if it is a brilliant sermon!).

There is a way of recovering the 'Local' in 'Local Preacher': Change the Plan.

In one circuit, for example, the local preachers were asked to work in teams with each of the circuit ministers. They were asked to meet with the minister and the Church officers at the start of each quarter to think and pray through the Church's worship. They were a part of the discussions which determined (according to what was happening locally with that Congregation) which acts of worship that quarter were best suited to evangelistic outreach, which would be really helpful in addressing issues the congregation were facing, which were ideal for including families or young people etc etc etc.. Only the team were planned to preach in that Church that year..
Yes.. It reduced the number of local preachers visiting each Church over the year - but it strengthened the concept of local ministry and local mission, What was heard was the Word of God for the people of God at this time and at this place.
And without exception the Churches grew.
So did the Ministers and Local Preachers.

Vocational Policies...

2011-01-31T15:02:00.001Z

Good day God,
I'm not quite sure how you will take this - but - well - I'm not quite sure anymore what a Methodist vocation is.
I thought I knew.
I thought it had something to do with the fact that my 'work' didn't feel like 'work' because I knew that I would do it anyway - regardless of pay. It was something about OUR relationship and the fact that the way that I felt about you, and the world, and faith and the future, was best expressed through my relationship in service to others, and with your Church.

Now I'm flummoxed (I like that word!)
I know that I still feel compelled to minister, I would still do it whether I was paid or not, in fact, I don't really seem to know how NOT to minister. The way in which that works out with others is uplifting, inspiring, heartwarming, affirming, confirming, challenging and motivating.. (Thank you)

But the 'Church' bit gets harder every year.
I keep saying to myself - ignore the Connexion - just get on with the task of being a minister where you have been stationed.. but it's just not that simple.
What we do at Connexional level SHOULD affect what we do at local level.
I am not a congregationalist, I do not serve a congregationalist Church and the last time I looked, the URC and the Methodists were still separate denominations, (even if we do share the odd consultation.)

The fact is that I am employed as a Methodist minister to work in a Methodist Circuit, within a Methodist District which belongs to the British Methodist Connexion which is part of the World Methodist Council.

So what happens Connexionally should concern me, and the members of the Churches I serve...
Polity and Practice are part of the Church's proclamation.

Most of us listened hard when we were promised that the 'team focus' project was all about creating a Connexional Team which would provide vision and leadership, which would inspire, motivate and equip the Methodist Church to work together for the sake of God's kingdom. We were told that ONE of the tasks of the new way of working was to provide better oversight of the budget - but we were assured time and time again that team focus was NOT about finance, was NOT about cutting jobs,was NOT just about good management - It was supposed to be about our calling.

But to be perfectly honest, from where I work, it seems as though the Governance structures which have emerged out of the Team Focus process have less and less to with our agreed priority:

To proclaim and affirm its conviction of God's love in Christ, for us and for all the world; and renew confidence in God's presence and action in the world and in the Church

And certainly less and less to do with Methodism's way of being Church - of being 'connected'.

So it isn't really a surprise to me that there are fewer and fewer responses to connexional reports.
It is a source of grief, a pointer to the problem, but not a surprise.

The thing that really bugs me, however, is the way in which changes to our theology and practice are so disguised in bureaucratic gobbledegook that its hard for those not trained in both theology and business management to unpack it all and see what's really going on.

The last council paper on team focus (MC118) (available here) for example, states that paragraph 23 addresses an issue that has ecclesiological implications. In actual fact - the entire document has ecclesiological implications, to say nothing of profound theological implications for our understanding of the whole people of God. (This is in spite of the fact that no mention of God or doctrine, occurs in the paper)

As a former managing director I applaud the concerted effort being invested in the well being of those who work for the Connexion at Methodist Church House
I just have a simple question - Since when did circuit ministers stop being a part of the Connexion?

Are we not worthy of consideration when it comes to working conditions?

Are circuit ministers, in keeping with ministers who work as part of the team, going to be asked not to use our God given, Church affirmed, identity as Revds if we have any full time lay employees in our Churches? (Am I alone in thinking that when ministers are denied their Connexionally affirmed title of Revd when they are called to serve at Connexional Level there is something wrong?)
Will circuit ministers have a staff handbook and policies instead of standing orders to determine our working conditions?
Will circuit ministers and superintendents, who often have a larger staff to oversee, also be given training in leadership and management?
Will circuit ministers ever be given support to cope with all the changes in the Connexion and our workloads?
etc etc etc

And then God..
a big part of me says -
ignore it..
Why run the risk of upsetting people again?
Life's too short - just work in this little corner...
But it really isn't that easy.

I'm daft enough to believe in Connexionalism, which makes me deeply concerned about the implied theology in some of our most recent council papers. In particular I am distressed about the increasing secularisation that they represent and the inexorable shift to congregationalism that they promote.

PLEASE - is it too much to ask for a little more talk of God, a lot less bureaucracy?
PLEASE - is it too much to ask for a little more respect for vocation - lay AND ordained, and a lot less concern about secular status?
PLEASE - is it too much to ask for a little more concern about the work of the whole Connexion and a lot less about the connexion's governance structures?

And that's before we even begin on the request to changes to standing orders governing the SRC !

Of providential straws and Camels..

2011-01-21T10:47:00.000Z

Good morning God,
I'm not really sure about providence, it's always been something that has troubled me. Trying to find the balance between your providential care for me, and my free will(?) is a theological conundrum that I periodically return to and nurse, like a decaying tooth that is wobbly but not quite ready to fall out.
The peculiar pain of an unresolved theological dilemma has always begged teasing and testing.. but never more so than now.

Tell me God, was it providential that my father died of an aortic aneurysm when I was just 18? Was it your way of preparing me so that I would know just how much to fear when my husband was found yesterday to have the same thing? Or is that just a coincidence?
Was it providential that someone kindly gave me swine flu to share with my husband, which led to him having the blood test that made them suspect cancer and so do the tests that accidentally discovered this massive aneurysm? Or was that just another string of coincidences..?
And is it providential that all this occurs now, as I begin a new cycle of chemotherapy and on the same day that my aunt dies?

Or is it all a coincidence, the working out of our free will, the result of our chosen life-styles?

How 'active' are you in the details of our everyday and endtimes?
Do you really know the when, the where and the how of each of our lives and deaths, and do you manipulate us, intervene in the cosmos to make sure it all happens according to plan..?

It just doesn't sound like you to me!
You, after all, built the law of cause and effect into the universe, gave us the laws of motion, and the corresponding spiritual laws of grace. There's no real evidence that you reorder the universe to make things 'nice' for your 'favourites'- although we often rewrite our history to show your hand in it. The fact seems to be that it is your constant presence and the love and grace that it communicates which is the primary 'force' you provide to guide our steps and help us to 'determine' our futures. You inspire US to work for what is later deemed providential...
You never promised anyone 'nice' or 'ordinary' or even 'good' lives, just unique lives, each with the potential to make a difference in the world. You ask us if we are prepared to channel the power that drives the changes you seek, to build the society you desire, to foster the community of grace that allows each human being to evolve to live life to the fullest. But you never said you would make sure that meanwhile we would be protected from the sickness, pain and suffering that we are working to cure and prevent. You never promised us immunity from what needs to be addressed.

So along the way, to borrow a well worn phrase..

Shit happens..

But God, if I'm honest, I do wish you would/could intervene right now.
My husband and I really could do with a break from the overly dramatic life threatening stuff that's been hitting us both lately. A bit of 'normality' would go down just fine at the moment.

Please..
Something about straws and camels and all that springs to mind...
Dare I ask,
please...
Can you just nudge the world enough to end some of this madness if only for a moment..
we desperately need a little ordinariness in our lives..

Or would that be too providential...?

I have a Dream

2011-01-17T10:01:00.003Z

In memory of Martin Luther King Jnr - who dared to protest and name injustice.
A rewrite of his most famous speech - to address the Church.

Two thousand years ago, Christ, in whose symbolic shadow the Church stands, triumphed over bigotry, hatred and fear to rise from the dead. This momentous act of God came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of women and children and slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But two thousand years later, we must face the tragic fact that women and children, the poor and the oppressed are still not free.

Two Thousand years later, the lives of women and homosexuals are still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. Two thousand years later, women are still languishing in the corners of Church ministry and find themselves exiled and outcast in their own faith.

So we have written this today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have written to our Churches to cash a check. When the authors of our faith wrote down the magnificent words of the New Testament and the creeds they were signing a promissory note to which every man woman and child was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all people would be guaranteed the gifts of God's grace, of life, liberty, and the pursuit of discipleship. It is obvious today that the Church has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her women and homosexuals are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, the Church has given these children of God a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice or grace is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity for ministry and discipleship of this Church.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of God's freedom to serve and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind the Church of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of gender justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our church from the quicksands of gender injustice to the solid rock of equality for all before God.

It would be fatal for the Church to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of women. This desolate winter of women’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating spring of freedom and equality. 2011 is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that women simply need to blow off steam and will then be content will have a rude awakening if the Church continues with ‘business as usual’. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in the Church until women are granted their full rights as children of God.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new confidence which has engulfed many women in the Church must not lead to a distrust of all men, for many of our brothers, as evidenced by their presence in the Church today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of doctrine and clerical rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of childbirth, are not free from the dictates of childless men. We can never be satisfied as long as women in the Church are barred from the office to which God calls them. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you reading this have undergone great trials and tribulations. Some of you have left narrow minded churches. Some of you have come from denominations where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of dogmatic bigotry. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go to your churches, go to your Bible Studies, your cell groups and fellowships, go to the darkest and most bigotted of our cathedrals wherever they may be, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in God’s dream.

I have a dream that one day the Church will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all people are created equal." I have a dream that one day in the palaces of Rome and Canterbury, the daughters of former women ministers and the sons of former Bishops will be able to sit down together and share equally at the table of Christ. I have a dream that one day even the Church of Rome, shrouded with the darkness of injustice and oppression of women, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that all children may one day be part of a Church where they will not be judged by their sexuality or their genitals but by the content of their character and the depth of their faith. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the Methodist Church, will be transformed into a situation where ordained men and women will be able to join hands with lay men and women and walk together boldly as sisters and brothers in one equal ministry. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith in which I minister. With this faith we will be able to hew our of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our Church into a beautiful symphony of praise and glory to God. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free to serve God fully, to be respected and valued one day.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, male and female, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, women are free at last!"

Prayer for Christian Unity - Don't make me laugh!

2011-01-15T09:44:00.000Z

Good morning God,
On the very eve of the octave of prayer for Christian Unity three former Anglican Bishops, unhappy with the ordination of women are to be re-ordained(!) as Roman Catholic Priests at Westminster Cathedral. My, how these Christian's love one another
or - more accurately - My how our leaders mock us.
This is the Unity which our Church Leaders would have us emulate?

From the feast of St Peter's Confession to the feast of St Paul's Conversion, hundreds upon thousands of 'ordinary' Christian's worldwide will find ways to worship together, dialogue and fellowship together, but especially pray together in the name of Christian Unity. This movement, supported jointly by the World Council of Churches and the Pontifical Council for the promotion of Christian Unity, is part of the search for 'the full unity' which it is claimed is Christ's will.
No doubt, these three newly ordained priests will participate in prayers for Christian Unity - just a few scant days after taking their leave of the Anglican Church (obviously not a denomination they feel a sense of unity with!)
And once again the hypocrisy of the established Churches make a mockery of the Gospel and the devilry of mysogyny once again rules what remains of Christendom.

What to do?
What on earth is a Christian to do when they realize how corrupt and life-denying the body that claims to represent them actually is?
I have to ask myself, do I really want to pray for Christian unity - and by so doing, appear to condone all that I find so damning and offensive in institutional Christianity?
How in conscience can I pray for unity with those who hate women so much that they would rather see them die than allow them the right to protect themselves from HIV infection?
Is it possible for me to pray with integrity for unity with those who hate women so much that they blame the entire sin of the world on one imaginary woman?
Please God, can you tell me how can I pray for unity with those who beleive that as an Ordained woman I should be excommunicated rather than tolerated or prayed for?

And ecuumenically God, tell me, how do I pray for unity with any organisation that actively seeks unity with such corruption?

It is all too easy to say - but the 'ordinary' Christian isn't concerned with any of this..
or what has Church politics to do with Church practice really?
EVERYTHING
The hypocrysy that now pedals itself as ecumenisity beggars belief.

There seem to be only two options open to me God
1) Dennounce my Christianity - and hence any potential for personal unity with the outdated barbarism of the Church

2) Bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes to hell..

Meanwhile the least I can do is decry the hypocrysy of the Church Leaders who urge us to pray whilst they play power politics with gender in your name.

I'm back!

2011-01-01T08:19:00.001Z

Good morning God,
OK, I confess, I'm excited!
I'm back to work after a three month Sabbatical and I'm raring to go..

And I'm so grateful that I start back on a bank holiday as this gives me the whole day to enjoy the knowledge of being back in harness, without having to act on it!

To be honest, I have greatly missed the people I would normally have been ministering to. They have been present in my prayers and as an ache in my arms where the hugs would have been. I have missed the worship we would have shared - especially the grace that flows in communion and the joy of celebration. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone again. But I have benefited so much from this gift of time.

Time to heal and rest, yes.. there is no doubt that I am fitter than I was before the Sabbatical started when I could barely breathe: but more importantly I have had time to simply be.

I have been able to enjoy the luxury of 'me time' with you God instead of feeling constantly harassed by the Church's calendar and its mad liturgical race through the seasons. This is the first time in 12 years that my Christmas has not been interrupted by planning meetings for Easter worship.. when I have not been either writing liturgical notes or Bible Notes for Easter or Lent whilst trying to live in Advent!

Of course.. I have all that to come.. but that's next weeks work, and sufficient to the day...

So here I am ready and willing to live in the here and now - and enjoy the fact that it is a bank holiday today!

Tomorrow's another thing entirely - its a Sunday - a day of rest!

Penis Envy

2010-12-14T08:52:00.001Z

Good morning God,
I have never wanted equality with a man - why settle for less than you already have has been my motto. But now I find I have a peculiar case of Penis Envy It's a little late in developing I know, but previously I have never had a real problem with being a woman in a man's world. Whether in Information Technology or Lecturing, it was always easy to deal with sexism simply by being better at my job than the other 'guy'.

It took the Church to make a sort of feminist of me!
I confess that I have tended to play down feminist theology as a 'red herring' theology - one of those side-avenues that 'real theology' can dally around in whilst it muses over the real questions of who YOU really are and why You have any interest in us, and who on earth Christ was, and what in heaven's name has happened to the trinity as a result.. you know the sort of things I mean.
Feminism always seemed so stamp-the-foot angry, and, if I am honest - too one-sided for me. What's the point in making women into men? What's the point in being so aggressive that we lose who we are? I can't be a man hater - I love too many of them! From my experience training and working with male ministers, I just can't believe women are any more caring or creative, loving or flowingly liturgical(?) than any male minister fulfilling their calling to love Christ's flock.

Moreover, feminism has always seemed keen to categorise and define women as a group of people I didn't belong too. I am highly creative, but wouldn't know how to wear a scarf around my neck properly or apply a modern mascara. I enjoy a soak in the bath, but can't be bothered with make-overs or make-up (the very expression says it all for me!) I prefer mixed company where possible - but to be honest I don't care what the gender or sexuality of the person is - as long as they can laugh and converse, preferably about theology, but I'll settle for anything cultural, political or scientific as a substitute!

I hate the very notion of Network or as it is now renamed 'Women in British Methodism' and the assumption built into it that just because I wear knickers I belong to a special group which the Church must pander to by allocating a place at Conference to a women who dares to claim she speaks in my name (as though I lack the ability to speak for myself!!!)

I am a woman not a wimp - I can speak for myself thank you - and I hate the very notion that such women's groups are based on - that women are so waspish and wimpish that in order to succeed they have to have special consideration of their needs.

So that's my prejudices nailed to the mast - but what then of my anger and righteous indignation of the state of the Church? Of the disgusting male exclusivity built into every element - from the liturgy with its conditional offering, to the priesthood!

I could of course, take the attitude suggested by the David Hallam in a comment on my last post and simply thank God that I am a Methodist and a product of the Reformation..
Except, of course, as most women in Methodism know - the problem of exclusivity is as much a Methodist problem as a Catholic one.
Do the figures..
what percentage of an average congregation is male, what percentage is female.
Now.. what percentage of our Connxional Team is Male? What percentage of our District Chairs is Male? what percentage of our Circuit Superintendents is Male? And of our ministers.. our district officers, or our new Pioneer Leaders?

The only place where the ratio of male to female even begin to match the Congregation is in terms of local preachers... but even here I still hear complaints from women about women local preachers with their high pitched screachy voices!
I am incensed at how delighted everyone is that we have a female president and vice president - why so delighted? this should be NORMAL - we don't experience the same joy when we have the usual twosome - or when (increasingly more common) we have a male president and a female Vice president
Our very delight in the elections of Alison and Eunice show how much this is OUR problem as well as the catholic Church's problem.

What - did we think having women ministers was enough?
we have prided ourselves on the idea that no office in our Church is barred to women - but we have our own glass ceilings, they may not be in CPD - but the figures make it clear that they do exist in the hearts and heads of those who appoint and select our ministers, officers and pioneer leaders (albeit, I grant, perhaps subconsciously).

BUT Gender justice is a gospel issue - not just a Church structure issue.
Our structures are but a reflection of our underlying theology and liturgy (we are what we pray as a Church)
So for me this cannot aford to be about helping the little woman out - I demand gender justice, and although, yes, I am little(!) I am not wanting special privileges or special consideration. I dont want a different job, I don't even want women to want access to the sort of jobs men in Methodism currently hold - I want a more radical change. I want the underlying theology exposed so that we see how we got into this mess and are more able to use the gospel light to find a way out of it.

I want for myself and for other women in our Church what you God, have given to all - full and unconditional access to your grace, to your love and to your power to change what is wrong, to transform the world and assist in the building of a kingdom of justice and peace. I want everyone to have what my male colleagues have, the theological and biblical freedom and confidence to be who they are, and to grow fully in grace and holiness in a Church which follows Christ's example and celebrates both genders. I want for everyone to have the same access to authority, the same rights within our Church, the same respect and the same consideration as every man is granted naturally - and I want it without anyone having to stamp a foot to get it.

I want an end to theological Penis envy..

Ironically God, the Vatican is full of male statues, each with the penis chopped off... there's got to be a feminist sermon in there somewhere!

Ecce Homo

2010-12-13T09:04:00.000Z

Good morning God,
I'm trying to unpack some of what I witnessed and experienced at St. Peter's Basilica recently.. I need your help on this because at the moment I am deeply disturbed by my initial reactions.
I went to St Peter's to see - to witness - to experience the beauty and grandeur of the place. I went to pray, for healing and for hope for myself and for others.. but most of all - I went in search of answers, little realizing that what I was questioning would be so brutally laid bare.

There was an annual thanksgiving and commemoration service for the Italian Air Force taking place in the heart of the Basilica on the day that I visited.The air was heavy with incense and gold glittered from every surface, sparkling in the lights illuminating the raised altar above St Peter's tomb. Inscribed in marble above our heads were the words and the language of those long since departed, reminding us of the solemnity and majesty of your actions and dealings with humanity - and everywhere Myrrh was present - scenting the statues of the dead, oiling the bodies of the embalmed and soaking into the bones of past Popes - all celebrating the powerful, centuries old message of the cult of death.

This was liturgy as I had never experienced it before: Here was the Church in all its pomp and power - dozens of priests and acolytes, cardinals in their brocaded costumes - all playing their part in the re-enactment of a murder , ready to offer, to those deemed worthy, the opportunity to share in its spoils in order to preserve their own skins.

We were not allowed to join with those who were worshiping, we were excluded, cut off from the priests, denied access to the light - kept behind the barricades, only allowed to peer at the privileged as they engaged in their rituals. And so we watched as tourists at another Vatican spectacle.

Whilst a big part of me died.

Here, laid bare, were all the lies I would rather not own up to about the Church...

The deep-rooted masculinity of the faith. I stood and witnessed the exclusive act of the Church at worship: a male collective worshiping a man re-imaged according to their own desires, overlooked by larger than life statues of men, and magnificent artwork celebrating and commemorating the glorious deeds of men - primarily the acts of either killing or dying

The cult of death, pain and suffering - the celebration and veneration of pain and anguish - whether of Christ - or of his saints. Not a single work of art, word or gesture that I saw at the Basilica was designed to celebrate life, sound joyous or evoke laughter and wonderment.
The blatant exclusivity of the Church.
The power of the priests and their all too obvious disdain for the people.
The obscene wealth on display compared to the great poverty of the majority of Church members..

Unexpectedly, at the end of the service, I was served the consecrated host without words, from a Gold cup, held by a Priest escorted by a guard who led him along in front of the barriers. I, and those with me at the front of the barricade were served as beggars might be served by a Lord with too many scraps from a table to dispose of by any other means. There was no grace in the giving, and I struggled to find grace in the receiving.

Ecce Homo

Behold the MAN...

But I couldn't find you there Lord - not in the host, nor later in prayer.
Your real presence eluded me.
In spite of so many portraits, so many statues - I couldn't find you amongst the things that were created for your glory. Too much of it seemed simply an artistic orgy in celebration of death and dying. The greater your pain, the more accurate the portrayal of your agony - the more people liked it. It was as though the resurrection never happened, was not something to celebrate, as though there was no Good News - only the cry to repent or be damned.

I can, of course, rationalise my initial reaction much of the above. I can say that what I saw was not 'normal', that what I experienced was not 'typical', that the Church really is so much more inclusive, open and joyous - but that obviously the Vatican has to take things more seriously, has to have guards in order to take care of the treasures it has been given, has to be more careful, exclusive, authoritative - MALE?

All this I could say, but none of that helps me dispel the question - what am I doing associating myself with any part of this?

Past Present and Future Advent expectations

2010-11-28T08:08:00.001Z

Good morning God - oh, and happy new year to you.
Today is the first day of the Christian year and we begin it by focusing on your absence.
Here we are again waiting, longing, aching.. for your presence, for your incarnation..for our salvation. As though you are somehow magically missing from our lives - as though we don't know what our 'salvation' requires (do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with your God)

Of course, this is only the liturgical year, its not a 'real' year - its just something that we have made up in order to try and tell your story and our stories as the seasons pass and the festivals cycle round. We use time as a narrative medium.. and rehearse the events of long long ago in the hope that they will help us make sense of the world today.
And on the whole, it works.
We like order in our lives - and the Christian story has a very definite time-line. We hold on to that because it tells us something of the reality, believability of the story. This isn't a myth, we say, Jesus really did exist in time and space.. he was born on a particular date (although it was unlikely to have been December 25th) and he died thirty something years later.. He is a historical figure, other people from that time wrote about him, historians wrote about him! - this is no son of Zeus, this is a real person we are talking about...

Time and dates matter to us in grounding our beliefs.. the 'When' of things is profoundly theological.
In the fullness of time God sent his son - says scripture.
'In days to come' -says Isaiah
'You know what time it is' says Paul
The Son of man will come at an unexpected hour' says the author of Matthew's gospel.

So where and when in the narrative we start our New Year matters - theologically. It is a part of how we understand the narrative..
So why start with the time when it was once believed Christ was absent?
Is that really where the Christian story begins?
In spite of the way it contorts trinitarian theology, some would insist that it is - because that means that we start with the sin of humanity and the need for salvation rather than with the grace of God and the gift of redemption.

So liturgically, we begin each new year by wishing it away in longing for a future which is based on a condemnation of the present.
The reformation didn't go far enough - it needed to reform the liturgical cycle as well!

Now I agree that there is much that is wrong with the world, the injustice, inhumanity and violence that we show to one another shatters me, makes it difficult to hope that we will ever evolve.. but there is also much that is beautiful, loving and inspiring which is evidence of your presence, your love and your grace in creation. And I want to be motivated to keep up the hard work, not be encouraged to damn it all and wait for the coming of Christ to fix it! I want to look forward to the second coming of Christ as a celebration of what we have been able to become by your love and your grace. I am tired of denying you, and of being asked to play make believe about your presence in my life. You are not absent to me, you are very present!

So I wonder, isn't it time to stop inducing this longing for a second salvific coming, and start living with the reality of the current eschatalogical incarnational presence of Christ? Is there no way that we can start our story with your presence and grace? Is it possible to acknowledge what you have done, and are continuing to do in our lives without dwelling on some mythical tale of an absent God?

I want to start each new year in the same way that the Bible starts its narrative - no - not with some mythical fall - but with the statement that You have made all things GOOD. That you are in the world and engaged with your creation, that in the fullness of time you expressed that belonging and being incarnationally to share with us the how and the wherefores of what we were created to be.

I want to dance with delight at another year in which Christ is present as promised. I want to be so full of joy at God's presence that by the time Christmas comes, the retelling of the nativity narrative will inspire me to grow in grace as well as fill me with the wonder of love.

Today is the New Year - today we celebrate the presence of Christ in the world, the love of God in us all and the power of the Holy Spirit to lead us into understanding the truth that Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again - in each and every one of us as promised.
And great will be our rejoicing on the day that we share with Christ all that we have been working with You, God, to achieve.

The missing generations...

2010-11-26T10:33:00.000Z

Good morning God,

'I get it'
I get why so many young people are turning their back on the Church, I get why so many young people feel disenfranchised and disillusioned and - lets be honest disgusted.
As they should be. It is disgusting, despicable and undemocratic for children as young as ten to have been corralled and kettled, charged upon and in some instances even beaten like criminals for daring to have an opinion and being willing to use their democratic right to protest. All whilst the Church was busy preparing for Advent.. or engrossed in a debate about 'Draft Ecclesiastical Offices (Terms of Service) (Amendment) (No.2) Regulations 2010'

I get it God
I get why young people think we are so outdated and irrelevant, after all, where were we when we were needed ? Did the city centre Churches stand in solidarity with the young people? Did they help by providing blankets against the cold, refreshments against the hunger, basic first aid, support, encouragement.. Did we - as Church - shout with them, protest the appalling conditions that they were forced to endure for daring to speak against the government?

Could the Churches have responded - and shown that they too believe in a future based on meritocracy not inherited wealth, where all have an equal right to the best education that they can aspire to based on their ability not on their parent's status? Didn't the Church have a duty to stand with them and denounced the way in which the hopes and the dreams of so many of the nation's children were being dashed under the hoofs of the horses ridden against them and beaten out of them by the truncheons of those they are supposed to be able to consider the guardians of justice and peace! Should not the Church have protested - really protested - such violence and abuse of our young people?
Or do we simply mutter 'suffer little children' at baptisms? Yesterday was certainly a baptism of fire for many young people who had their first taste of so-called democracy, and discovered it to be bitter indeed.

But did the Church offer anything sweeter?

I get it - we flunked again.

Once again we demonstrated that what matters to young people, doesn't quite matter enough to us to get involved, to make our own concerted protest on their behalf. What matters to young people doesn't quite excite us enough to dream with them for a fairer future for them - after all - we wont be here to enjoy it. The Church is clearly too busy with ecclesiology and liturgy to get too involved with reality. How can any young person see anything other than betrayal in this - the Church's apathy concerning their highest aspirations? Is it any wonder that another generation is slowly but surely being added to those missing from the Church?

Is it too cynical of me to suggest that the Church's apathy concerning education might just have something to do with the fact that it is easier to peddle the gospel amongst the poor, uneducated and uninspired of the world...?

As the Church prepares for the coming of Christ as an infant, as it gets itself embroiled once again in whether these are the 'winter holidays' or a Christian festival, as it fights its campaigns for Jesus as the reason for the season.. my prayer God is that it also remembers that what matters to Jesus is not His name, but what is done in his name... for the sake of the Children everywhere - including those who hope to go to university one day, who dream of being the first in their family to have a masters degree, or even a doctorate. Children who want the chance to discover who they can be, and what it is that they could do if they were no longer defined and penalized by the class-ridden stereotypical expectations and limitations implicit in this government's educational policies.

Please God, help us.
Let the Church's Advent sermons cry out to you God, as the God of Justice, for you to inspire us to participate in making way for the future you dream for us, instead of simply expecting our Children to make it for us.

Science, Hellfire and Damnation

2010-11-24T07:50:00.001Z

Good morning God,
It would appear that there is a link between support for religion and a willingness to inflict punishment. The New Scientist has a report on a team of scientists, led by Emst Fahr of the University of Zurich who have been wondering how religion survives in spite of the fact that it can be so painfully costly.

I have to admit God, I wonder too.
I too wonder at how people can tolerate the perversion of Good News into Bad News, week in and week out. I confess that I had long ago come to my own private conclusion that a frighteningly large percentage of religious people take a perverse pleasure in abasing, humiliating and punishing themselves and others.. they must do.. to do it so often and with such enthusiasm - and be prepared to pay for it too!

The Good News says - your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more.
The Good News says - Perfect love casts out fear
The Good News says - you are a child of God - and there is nothing better, higher or more important.

But somehow, by the time religion has finished with it - what is often proclaimed is

God loves you BUT you are a miserable sinner
Even though Christ died for your sins, that's not enough, you must confess, beg forgiveness, say three Hail Mary's, wear a Cilice (a spiked chain worn around the upper thigh), and a horsehair shirt for the next x number of days
God forgives only those who love Jesus
Only those who love Jesus are Children of God

Truth be told, the Church historically probably talked more about sin and hellfire than about You and your love God.
The Church has tended to use punishment and the fear of punishment as a means of control and cohesion, to bind the people together and draw in the weak and fearful.

IF you do/do not (delete as appropriate) ___________ (fill in the blank)
THEN
When you die, you will be damned for all time and cast into the eternal fires of hell..
However....
If you believe what we tell you, do what we say
Then we can ensure that this wont happen...
In fact... you might even get to go to heaven (so much nicer than hell)

HUH?

so sorry... I thought Jesus had dealt with sin?

The scientific team investigating - wondered how religion survived despite the predilection to punishment and came up with this:
"The punishing may be unpleasant but it's in the service of the greater good for that particular group or religion, enabling them to thrive and spread the word,"

And I find myself wondering - what word - the word of truth that declares us worthy - or the lie that demands we punish or be punished?

I'm Wesleyan through and through - Christ died to save us.. from the worst in ourselves - and others.
For me that includes the push to dwell on, and hence empower, what people call 'sin'.
I am saved from the perverse habit of repeatedly revisiting, anguishing over and punishing myself or someone else for what has already been done and cannot be undone, what has long been forgiven, but not yet forgotten. I am also saved from my worst fears about how unworthy and undeserving I am.

The Good News is that I am in Christ - therefore I can sin no more.
The Good News is that Christ has declared me worthy
The power of sin has been broken - 'no condemnation now I dread' - nor punishment do I fear.

Sure, I still make mistakes, get things wrong, and regret my actions or words - but I take heart from the fact that as I work to overcome such imperfections, You forgive them because You know how I am made, and You have called it Good.

No Punishment needed (or wanted!)

How do you read yours..?

2010-11-20T16:41:00.000Z

Cadbury's creme egg by Saatchi & Saatchi 2008

Good afternoon God,
Several comments and posts on the Blogosphere lately have had me wondering about the way in which other people read the Bible... and how I read it.
Each day I read the set lesson from the Methodist lectionary from the Bible I was given at my ordination. As part of my discipline of discipleship I spend some time with that text, not in exegesis as such, but reading and reflecting on what I have read. What verse (if any ) jumps out at me, what does the text say to me about you, or about me, or about other people and the world we live in. I then write a single page of 'commentary' in my journal - as a way of not just reading and moving on.
I gain much from this practice, a deep appreciation of the text, a love of your Word, a knowledge of the peoples and places of the Bible, and a conviction of the power of the Bible to speak to me and to the World today, not in an authoritative commanding manner, but as a challenging transformative opportunity.

But I have been provoked into thinking more deeply about how I read the Bible.
'How' do I read it? Do I read it as a feminist, as a liberal, as a Methodist, as an Evangelical, as a preacher, as a pastor - or as all of these things?
'How' do I read it? Do I read it as your truth, as history, as a source of inspiration, as instruction, as a conversation with you - or as all of these things?

It matters because how we read the Bible determines what we bring to the text and what we expect to take away from our encounter with it. There are some people who are fortunate enough(?) to know exactly how the Bible should be read. They often beat us over the head with it.. but I'm not so fortunate.
I find that I am very inconsistent about how I read the Bible - it all depends on why I am reading it, and who I am reading it for. Like the best of friends, I find the Bible offers its wisdom and wit in the manner best suited to the occasion or the query. So if I am reading for a Sunday service, to preach the Word - the Bible reads differently than if I am reading for personal discipleship, or for class meeting, or for Bible Study..

The words don't change - but I do, according to my needs and expectations the text seems to suggest first one meaning, then another - and then invites me to be transformed by that interpretation.
As a result, I can't read the Bible as a straightforward text.. I find no 'plain' meaning - instead I find revelation (and revelation is a complex and tricky act of grace!)

As I read Scripture, it reveals to me my prejudices, presumptions and needs - it reveals to me my hopes dreams and deepest desires for myself, for those I love, for the whole world. The Bible reveals the gap between where humanity should be and where it actually is - and repeatedly it reveals to me the wonder and majesty of creation and of your love for it all.

And then reveals to me the need, and sometimes even the best way, to change/act/do something as a result of what I have read!

That's a lot of revelation - but it doesn't come all at once - or every time I read..
But I do read expecting revelation - and that's really the 'how' of how I read the Bible. I don't read it specifically as anything or anyone in particular - but I do read it every time in expectation, believing that YOU are particular - and that you can and will use this means of grace to enlighten me.

So to answer my question - How do I read Scripture?
Expectantly - from the inside out, nibbling at the edges as necessary to ensure I can dig deep for our transforming gift of grace.

Royal Weddings..

2010-11-17T07:42:00.001Z

Good monring God
Here we go again.. another Royal Wedding to delight the masses. Forgive me if I can't get that excited about two highly privileged people who have decided to do what thousands of other people are not yet allowed to do by the laws of this land - regardless of how much they love one another.

And yes, what troubles me most is the way in which the Church colludes with this.

The Church has a stake in marriage, you could almost say that it has defined what Marriage is meant to be. From being a legal contract defining possession of goods, it has been transformed into a 'holy state', a 'Sacrament' even, but most of all - an expression of love.

But it is this relationship between love and marriage that makes our current laws so repulsive and offensive. By refusing to allow same sex couples to marry, the law is essentially saying that some people do not have the right to love, or do not have the right sort of love..
So says the law - and so says the Church..

Shame on us.
Shame on the way we use our oh so clever theological and biblical arguments and Church discipline to defend such injustice. If you have seen fit to let love flourish between two people God, then who on earth are we to deny either its validity or acceptability? Do we really think that you, the God of love, are best served by our denial of love just because we are uncomfortable about the sexual dimension of a relationship?

As a result of the Royal Wedding next year many more young couples will decide they really do want to get married. Some will be able to. Some will not. Not because they can't afford to, or because they don't love one another enough to make this life-time commitment but because society will not let them. It is a lie to say we are an open tolerant society. The fact is that civil partnerships are not the same as marriage. Both legally binding forms of relationship should be open to all, otherwise all we are doing is practicing a form of love-apartheid.

And the Church could lead the way.. it could have the courage to face the fact that you love everyone and that, in spite of our protestations, you do not partition us by either our gender or our sexuality. You give us all the gift of love and the ability to express it.
It's time to own up to the fact that you did not create marriage - humans did, as a way of keeping control of certain things(women and their money mainly!).
That you have blessed the state of matrimony is amazing, a gift of grace - but surely that makes it all the more important that marriage should be open to all your children?

If the Church were to clamor for marriage to be open to all - the state would very quickly concur.
What on earth are we waiting for - a Royal civil partnership?

Persistent Memory

2010-11-13T08:54:00.004Z

Dali - The persistence of Memory

Good morning God,
Memory is clearly both a gift and a curse. It is essential to everyday living, but it can also play cruel tricks with us. It can betray us when it falters, leaving us bereft and empty of names and faces we once loved. It can surprise and delight us with childhood moments in adult years. But it is also frighteningly easy to develop false memories and to create a selective memory which chooses to remember only the 'good' things or (in certain cases) the 'bad' things about someone or some situation.
By far the most disturbing aspect of memory however is its persistence. Dali recognised this and depicted both the horror and the morbid fascination of persistent memory in his surreal landscape of the same name.
In the picture he brilliantly captures the distortion of human form that occurs when we cannot forget.
Ask most people who have suffered from abuse about the persistence of memory about the way in which it is impossible to forget - even when the claim is made that the abuser has been forgiven. And about the way that the persistence of the memory of their abuse continually shapes and defines their world and their self-image.
Forgiveness is seemingly linked inextricably to the ability to forget. The argument is simple enough, if the hurt and the harm can be forgotten, then it will prove easier to forgive the person who inflicted it.
But this is not really forgiveness, this is merely forgetting.
Real forgiveness is related to the persistence of memory, it's what make forgiveness so difficult to do and what makes the simple statement 'Your sins are forgiven' so mind-blowing.
To be able to forgive remembered sin (real or otherwise) takes grace and the unique ability of grace as your power to transform life, regardless of who committed the sin.
Your grace alone can provide us with a place where we can stand in safety to look into the past and truly acknowledge it, to feel the power of its hold on us, before learning how to forgive ourselves and others for it. You offer us a new life where memories can be hung as pictures, rather than used as weapons to continue to hurt and harm, and where forgiveness transforms and empowers us to try again to build a new world..

And this is as true for inherited memory as it is for personal memory.
I do not personally remember the crusades, the inquisition, the shoah - but they are part of our inherited memory - as are the masacres in Rwanda, Bosnia, Kosovo, the acts of terrorism in Israel/Palestine, the USA, UK and Ireland and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
And as long as the memory of those acts are used as weapons to create further hatred and fear there can be no peace: we are doomed to repeat what we remember. When we say - we will remember them - what will we remember of them? What will we change as a result of them? What is the power of this persistent remembering? How is this remembering shaping us and our future?

The Scriptures make it clear, our own history similarly teaches us that forgiveness is essential to transform the power of memory into a force for good - no matter how evil the deeds were or are.
How long oh Lord, How long will we harbor grudges, remember grievances and build new prejudices on the memories of the dead?

Only by your Grace God, can we obtain the power to forgive as needed and to proclaim that in spite of the memories of the past, in spite of the agitation of those who try to bind us to the past, we choose to build a new future free from its bitterness and gall.

Why - because you have declared - your sins are forgiven, and have said to us:

Do this in remembrance of me -
forgive your enemies,
love those who spite you
go in peace and sin no more.

Of Saints and Heroes

2010-11-09T07:44:00.000Z

Good morning God,

One of the most moving moments at Conference is always the service of remembrance. This is a small intimate service of remembrance held in the ministerial session of Conference to which the immediate families of those ministers who have died that year are invited. There is no long sermon, no point to prove - the Scriptures alone are needed to speak the truth that we all hold dear - of service to God, of life everlasting and of the communion of the saints.
And then the roll is called.
Each name sounded as a word of truth and and thanks for a life sacrificially spent in service to God for the sake of God's people.
Time is taken, to remember, to give thanks and to honour the saints.
Christ is present in grace and fellowship, in the word and in the love and respect that each saint is shown. It is a service I would hate to miss, and a service I have often paid to attend as each minister has the right to attend at their own expense if they are not sent to Conference as a representative.

The same cannot be said of this Sunday's services up and down the country - and on TV and radio!
This Sunday is not one of my favourite days of the year. As a local preacher I blocked the date as one that I would not be available to preach on, but as a minister that is seldom an option. This year, as I am on sabbatical, I am thankfully spared the dilemma of trying to reconcile my belief in the Gospel with what people 'want or expect to hear' on Remembrance day. I will not be attending worship this coming Sunday morning.

I agree with the principal of a national day of remembrance, but I believe it should be a secular and civic affair, when we honour and recognise all those who have died in the service of their country, soldiers, firemen, police, spies...regardless of their religion or ours. Dying the in service of one's country has nothing to do with Christianity per-se - although of course, as Christians we would want to pray for the dead and acknowledge our part in the communion of saints.When more people attend the Mosque on a Friday than attend a Church on a Sunday, it is foolhardy to presume that only Christianity can and should address the grief and remembrance of the nation. Besides, this is a secular state we are repeatedly told, a state with the power to deny the real meaning and purpose of our high-days and holidays, turning them instead into vacuous commercial feel-good factors.

So let the state - this secular state that is so intent on ridiculing religion - host its own service of remembrance - and from its Constitutional texts and dispatches from the field, let them find some fine stirring words that truthfully declare why these young men and women are remembered. I'm sure Churchill must have said something worth repeating - Blair likewise - how else could the nation have been persuaded to go to war?
I could understand and respect a civic service of remembrance that gave thanks for all the lives that have been lost in service to the state - that at least would be honest. In spite of my objection to the war and to the idea of 'might = right' peacemaking, I could join in and give thanks and remember the lives lost doing what our govenments have asked them to do. I could accept in humility the gift of heroism that some in the past have displayed to defend my freedom to blog, to criticise, to speak my mind without fear of imprisonment or worse.

I guess I just need my Saints and Heroes to be properly separated - and for the difference betweeen their sacrificial giving to be stated:
The Saints are those who sacrificially give their lives in service to God

The modern day heroes are those who sacrificially give their lives in service to the state.
Some Saints are also Heroes - thank God
Some Heroes are also Saints - thank God
I will take the time to remember and honour them both,

but above all this, this Sunday I will remember that only Christ has died that I might live.

I promise..

2010-11-08T07:58:00.001Z

Good morning God,
Can I be honest and tell you now that, as much as I love you, as much as I recognise your supreme authority over my life, I will not kill for you, neither will I hate for you - that is my promise to you.
That, regardless of how I may be provoked and stirred up, I will strive to hold to the core of your teaching and own that any violence I commit is my own - and that you have no part in it. I will remind myself daily that human righteous wrath does not exist, except as the hatred which fills the empty hearts of the lost. I will fill my heart with your love and find the means to grieve every brother and sister lost to such empty, life destroying passions, and hold fast to your call for us to pray for the perpetrators as well as the victim of such pains.

I make this promise and state it deliberately in the hope that others will do the same so that the blood that we smear you with, and the hatred we place in your mouth might cease - before it destroys us all.

One of the tables in our cafe at New Malden Methodist Church is unofficially reserved for a small but loyal handful of Iraqi refugees, many of whom are Christian - Syrian Catholics and Orthodox. They repeatedly remind me that their homeland is part of the cradle of Christianity. Their presence in our cafe, enhances our faith and enables us to be obedient to our own calling here in the West.

And last week we were witnesses to their grief at the massacre in the cathedral. I sat and listened and was told the stories the newspapers are only now getting hold of, the stories of faith hope and persecution. The dilemma of whether to stay or flee. (a question exacerbated by what is seen as the lax Christian standards here in the West.)
I learned that this is not just about the preservation of life - but of faith - real faith. The faith that is bound to the heart, to the land, and to the world. Faith that has enabled these Christians to live alongside Muslims for centuries, the faith that promotes unity and peace. This is a faith that refuses to deny the evil in humankind, but will not bow to it either.

I was ashamed at how small we make it by reducing it to a question of survival, of asylum.

They know that this is not just a question of whether Christian's should flee - but whether people of faith can ever be people of peace. Can Iraq ever be healed? Can the middle-east ever find peace? This is not just about avoiding another massacre, this is about denying fear and hatred the right to decide the future of humanity and partition the world into pseudo religious states. They are convinced that there can be no peace in the middle east (and hence in the world) until Muslim, Christian and Jew are able to live as neighbours not strangers.

I am likewise convinced this will never happen until Christian, Jew and Muslim alike promise not to kill or hate in your name. When the veil of religious fanaticism is removed, the greed, hatred, fear and politics that are the real root of this discord will be exposed and rendered impotent.

So I make you my promise God - my covenant of faith
I will not kill or hate for you,
but will live to share the love of you,
regardless of how I am provoked or stirred up.
I will pray and grieve for my brother and sister
who are lost in violence and hatred.
I will do all that I can to hold to your covenant of peace

'Your will not mine be done in all things,
wherever you may place me,
whover my neighbour may be,
Your love be in all that I do
and in all that I may endure.'

It's not fair.

2010-11-04T07:48:00.002Z

Good Morning God,
When did we stop being human and start being body parts? 3706 organ transplants were performed by the NHS this year, but apparently this is still not enough, people are still dying for lack of suitable organs. To borrow the phrase of the TV campaign designed to shame us into signing the donor register - It's not fair!

No, it's not fair.
It's not fair on the whole human race that one gene pool, sick and diseased though it is, can come to dominate the species gene pool through the direct application of medical science simply because it can afford to do so..

Here in the West, our bodies have become the essential but uncomfortably fragile vehicles that we travel around in through this journey of life. It's not fair that our life-style and social evolution results in our bodies becoming diseased or broken, but we can generally find some way of patching them up - for a price. Life and health are commodities, the must have accessories to 'being' who we really are. They are a costly luxury for the sick and the poor, but the sick can harvest what they need from the poor - if they can pay.

Money is effectively halting the genetic and spiritual evolution of humanity - and we will all pay the cost later. Leave aside for one moment the sick irony of the growing market in organs which results in some of the poorest people world-wide selling their body parts to donor banks in order to survive. What is really happening here is the ultimate in the commodification of life. People get the life that they can pay for.

YES - of course, I would want to see those I love live longer lives - but only because I am selfish, not because I believe it is right for them - or for me - or for society. Grief is the bitter-sweet side of love that we do not want to taste. But we can't have everything we want - no matter how badly we want it, usually for good reasons!

So, even though I know that good people, even young people and new born babies, friends and family members might otherwise die, I still struggle with the idea of organ donation:

Firstly there is the inequality of it all - the cost of one liver transplant could pay for millions of newborn tetanus vaccines... whose life is more important - why is it the one who can pay? Where is the justice in this? Where in the gospel does it say that only those who can pay can have life?

Secondly there is the subtle but insidious signal that it sends to humanity that 'death' is the devil which must be defeated at all cost, that sickness and dying are not 'normal', and that it is imperative that we do everything we can to 'keep people alive' - as though dying is not a normal part of living. Dying is so normal that even you did it God, to show us it is not the end of us. We need have no fear of dying.

Thirdly there is the presumption that all that is necessary for us to live are bodies that work. We start treating bodies as something separate and distinct, which fail us or let us down. We stop thinking of ourselves as whole human beings with a physicality and spirituality which are intended to combine to create a reality which transcends both.

Fourthly - and perhaps most importantly, we start behaving like gods - making decisions over who lives and who dies according to the organs that we have. We start convincing ourselves that we have life sussed, we don't need your help. We can now create life in a test-tube, clone it when we need to, educate it, milk it for its worth to society, mate it and when we deem it necessary or expedient to do so, heal it or fix it when it breaks and kill it humanely if we must. But what we create and manipulate is but a shadow of life in all its fullness.

Lastly, keeping people 'alive' in this way stops humanity evolving, growing, changing, developing. It keeps the diseased genes in the gene-pool, whilst we kid ourselves that it doesn't matter - we will find a medical fix for that too!

I am aware that what I have written is not confined to organ transplants, but transplants epitomize the problem underlying the demand for 'right to life' medical care. They are at the pointy end of a very sharp and pressing pair of questions which will in the end define us all...

What is the price of a human life?

And what is the real cost to humanity?

Personally, I think these questions were answered over 2000 years ago, by someone who paid the ultimate price so that we could learn how to obtain real healing, and gain life in all its fullness.

Disowning the Church

2010-11-02T09:02:00.001Z

Good morning God,
I've been thinking about the vogue to publicly disown things, Children disown parents who have abused them, parents disown children who have shamed or humiliated them, politicians disown parties when they are no longer happy with their policies and, of course, people disown churches - often for the strangest of reasons..

I confess there have been many times this week when I have seriously contemplated disowning the Church. I have wanted to distance myself from the very valid accusations of what Christians have done in the past - and what many still do today, to Jews, to Muslims, to non-believers.. and worse - to one another. The blogosphere has been an uncomfortable place recently to try and be a means of grace in.

In some ways this is nothing new. As you know I have struggled often with what it means to belong to this family of faith with its irrational hatreds and violent dogmas. I hate the caricatures of the Christian and the religious in the media and in novels like Pullman's 'The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ' because I know they are all too accurate.. Why, I wonder, would anyone want to belong to something that has such a negative image, that is so ridiculed and scorned, most often with just cause? What is it that holds people to this historically corrupt and self-serving body called Church?

Belonging. The defining issue of this age. The freedom to disown, disavow, disconnect and divorce is enshrined in law in most western countries - it is a human 'right'. You can no longer be forced to 'belong' to that which you do not choose to belong to. Don't like your country and nationality - emigrate, don't like your family - divorce or disown them, don't like your politics - change parties, dont like your religion - change it or drop it altogether. This is the libertine age when we are all free to cast off the chains that once defined us. We are able to decide for ourselves who and what we are - aren't we?

It was once normal to think that blood was thicker than water - that we should always put the family first - that charity begins at home. Family was something people were taught to value - and if necessary defend - even if they didn't really feel that they 'belonged' - they were 'part of the family' regardless of what they had done or how they behaved - and the onus was on everyone else to make people believe that they were really welcome, and not outsiders. Which is what made the parable of the prodigal so powerful, the opening words of John's gospel so redolent with meaning.. and Paul's insistence on Christian adoption so important. Above all, it is what has given the Trinity, the core of Christianity, its theological rationale. The mutual self-giving Parent - Child relationship modeled for us by the Trinity sets the standard for our own belonging.

Salvation, are were taught, is all about being a part of your family God - Today salvation has come to this house, for he too is a son of Abraham' says Jesus of Zacchaeus. And from the Acts of the apostles onwards, the Church has worked to foster this doctrine of belonging and preach the idea of of one human family overseen by you as our divine parent, a family of natural and adopted children living in peace and growing in grace and holiness. But the Church has also tried to insist that it alone knows who is, and who is not - a part of your family, And historically only the Church could sign the 'necessary' adoption papers of baptism or write of excommunication which would decide if someone belonged or not.

Now of course, we are part of a generation which does not care about 'the Church'. They are happy to not be associated with it, they even pity those of us who do belong to it. As do I. If I am honest then I would have to acknowledge that there is little that can be said about the Church worldwide that is redemptive, or even uplifting. As a whole, the Church takes more from the poor in terms of moral and intellectual growth than it ever provides in terms of bread in mouths. It slaughters millions for the sake of its 'doctrines' concerning contraception and abortion and knowingly whips up hatred, fear and prejudice of anyone who is 'different' from the Church's idea of the 'norm'. It subjugates and humiliates women and children alike and does all this in your name.

Why would anyone want to belong to something so sick and abusive, so anti-intellectual and repressive?

Because as broken and disturbing as it is - the Church is still the only vessel charged with carrying the real gospel of belonging - of being a new thing - in you. Of belonging to something so much bigger than all of our petty human tribes and parties, something worthy of complete loyalty, dedication, commitment and sacrifice. Of belonging to YOU, not the Church or the nation.
That Gospel is the only hope humanity has to evolve past its current self-obsession.
Though I often loathe what it currently is, and sometimes the part that I play in that, where else can I go Lord - for you have the words to eternal life?

Antisemitism redefined

2010-10-28T07:57:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
A very distressing and disturbed night. I have been following and participating in a blogged debate on the Church's report on Justice for Israel Palestine and the bizarre threat of one Methodist to take the Church to court over its contents.
There can be no doubt that the report has raised some emotive issues, but that is no excuse for the appalling lack of grace in some of the posts.When Christians slander one another, evil flourishes.

The charge being made against the Church and certain individuals is of Antisemitism.. a charge designed to raise the spectre of the Holocaust and shame us all into silence - regardless of what atrocities are currently being perpetrated. In a nutshell the argument is - Gentiles committed the holocaust therefore the Gentiles have forever forfeited the right to censor a Jew. Any and all criticism of Jews or of Israel by Gentiles is antisemitic.

This is, however, a shallow and dishonest definition of antisemitism. It mocks and makes a lie of the past by reducing it to a vacuous insistence that it is never politically, spiritually or socially 'correct' to criticize or question anything Jewish or Israeli.

I have spoken out against some of the abuses of power in Zimbabwe - but I am not anti-african
I have protested the Catholic Church's policy on the use of condoms - but I am not anti-catholic

It is time to put the fear of being called antisemitic into perspective:

It is not antisemitic to seek to be informed about the current plight of the ordinary Palestinian
It is not antisemitic to be offended by the wall
It is not antisemitic to question why human rights are being denied to Palestinians in Israel.
It is not antisemitic to ask what can we do to which might help Palestinians.

It IS antisemitic to not question or challenge any of these things, to hate the Jew so much that we would be prepared to stand by and watch whilst they perhaps commit crimes against You and against humanity which we know from our own bitter experience will only result in long-lasting spiritual, social and political damage.

It IS antisemitic to allow religious fundamentalism, be it Christian, Jewish or Islamic to narrowly define what it is to be Jewish based on some literal interpretation of a few verses of the Hebrew Scriptures (texts which many Jews enjoy endlessly debating!)

But more to the point - you have taught us repeatedly God that it is not right define and limit a human being by the happenstance of where they were born or to whom. It was incredibly costly to teach us that in YOU there is neither Gentile nor Jew. Our human divisions and habit of 'taking sides' is an anathema to you. It is not antisemitic to love the Palestinian, it is not an either-or situation. Not all Jews are in support of the wall, not all Palestinians are members of Hammas, but all Jews and all Palestinians are your children God.

Methodists believe that Christian conferring is a means of grace - we extend that and say all Godly dialogue is a means of grace, ie a way to grow closer to you God and to one another. Such dialogue cannot begin with accusations, but by invitations. The report 'Justice for Israel/Palestine' was produced in response to a request by Methodists for information for Methodists about the plight of the Palestinians - it therefore naturally has more to say about the Palestinian than about the Jew. If people feel that this creates an imbalance, the solution is simple, I invite those Methodists who think that we are antisemitic to use our Church procedures to request a report on the state of Israel and the evils of antisemitism. No doubt that will not only enlighten and inform Methodists but also lead to further controversy as the Church struggles with its past, for the sake of its future. What I am confident of, however, is that such a report would be well written and would receive a warm welcome.
What isn't welcomed are the current ungracious comments, accusations and slander.

Theology first.

2010-10-26T08:33:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Today promises to be a good day. A day filled with deliberation and celebration over how the Church communicates and shares its theology. Such days are rare!

I know that our Ministerial students are still required to study theology - it's there on the curriculum somewhere, along with Church History, Liturgy, Hermeneutics, Evangelism, Missiology, World Church, Old Testament, New Testament, Greek, Hebrew, Science and Religion, Philosophy of Religion, Sociology of Religion, Inter-faith studies. Pastoral Theology, Ethics,Pedagogy, Adrogogy, Christian Anthropology, Black Theology, Liberation Theology, Feminist Theology, Queer Theology, and of course Methodist Theology..

Sorry God, lost myself in a wish list there...

The sad truth is of course that some sections of the British Methodist Church have long since lost Wesley's love of theology and have managed (with Conference's consent) to reduce most of the Church's theological output to a compulsory second section in some Conference reports (and now for the theology...) oh yes.. and to a dreaded subject at seminary. (If the looks of some of our students when they come to their first theology lesson is anything to go by, theology is about as popular in our Church as a pickled onion is in an apple pie.)

I suspect that the root of the problem lies in our having lost the 'groundwork' of theology - the pew theology that fed and nurtured the love of theology, of searching the Scriptures and studying God's world in some of our members and local preachers. From Wesley's time on, the Methodist people were fed theologically by the works of popular theologians and - in particular - by the published books and reports of the Church. Wesley even rewrote and abridged a few works in order to make them more accessible. The Agenda's of earlier conferences up to the 1990's are an amazing collection of theological works. Embedded in the reports from each division of the Church is clear evidence of the Church as church, wrestling with scripture and faith, not just its necessary order.
It would be hard to say the same today. Although there are some good reports being produced, on the whole, the paucity of religious language in any of our Church's official paperwork is now well past scary.

Current council papers, for example, are now prefaced with neat little tick boxes and columns which summarize the report's expected impact on :-

Standing Orders
Faith and Order
Financial
Personnel
Legal
Wider Connexional
External (e.g.ecumenical)
Risk

It's all very business like and official - and I guess it's important for us to be able to see at a glance what the impact of any piece of the Church's work will be on these areas.

And it's good to see that we have our priorities right - there's faith and order - way up there - next to rules and regulations! But this faith and order tick box isn't quite the same as asking whether or not something is theologically sound or in keeping with our faith and order. It can't be - otherwise surely there would be some input from faith and order required on - say the report MC1089 Selection Criteria for Candidates for presbyteral and diaconal ministry After all, I can't imagine Wesley thinking that selection criteria for ministers would have no impact on the faith and order of the Church!

Bottom line - it ALL impacts on our faith and order!

This is an old drum of mine - but it still beats to the same tune.

As a Church we should start with the theology - not with the business. Good business practice does not always mean good theology or good ministry. Church reports and papers are a part of our public proclamation as well as our internal business. I really believe we are drowning out our proclamation of God's grace with official, business management language instead of God language. We have good news to share which is lost amidst the jargon of impact and risk assessment!

It's TIME TO TALK OF GOD

Luckily - for people like me - theology is actually compulsory for a Church - no matter how business like and professional it wants to be (or thinks it has to be!). It can't be tidied up or pigeon holed or reduced to a column or section because You delight in turning us upside down and inside out - you want to know we are talking with to and about you, not just ordering your affairs!

The simple fact is that it's just not possible to be either a good and effective minister, or even a good Christian Disciple without doing theology. The hard part is discovering how we as a Church, learn how to do it so that it is profitable for the whole people of God.. not just so that we get another report adopted by Conference. Wesley insisted that Searching the Scriptures is a means of Grace, as is Christian Conferring (which doesn't just mean conferring with Christians but conferring as Christians).
Conferring and searching can be done in community - in a seminary or college or church or house group, or in private - with a book, or as part of a distance learning course. (See in particular the European Methodist eAcademy's brilliant courses on Methodist Theology)

And that's where the joy of today comes in for me.
Today I will be exploring with others in the Connexional team and in Circuit ministry how the Church can help to make the means of grace available, through the books that we publish. And then - I will travel to Durham to celebrate the Church's continuing investment in theological education as I attend the welcome service for the new Director of the Wesley Study Centre in Durham.
A good day to beat a drum for theology first..

un-Natural Selection?

2010-10-18T08:08:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,
I've just been learning about the charity Project Prevention and their plan to offer money to drug addicts and alcoholics if they will agree to sterilisation (referred to as long term birth control).

I appreciate the concern for the children.
No... that's an understatement.
I am appalled at the damage that can be done to children born to parents suffering from alcohol or drug addiction. I know from first hand experience how life-shattering and soul destroying it can be for the child AND the parent.
BUT
To knowingly offer one more binge or fix in return for a life-time of sterility?
How sick and manipulative is that?

It's called Eugenics.. the deliberate attempt to manipulate the gene pool of society - human intervention in the whole process of natural selection. We've done it before, in America in some states there were programs to sterilize those with mental illness, Indirah Gandhi tried mass sterilization in India, In Czechoslovakia Roma women were forcibly sterilized..
Forced Sterilization is recognised as a crime against humanity - but coerced sterilization?
Can you coerce someone who lacks the emotional and mental capacity to fully understand what they are signing up to - or is that just abuse?

If Project Prevention was really concerned for what happens to the Children of addicts, it would spend its money on providing care for them - not making sure that they dont exist!
I think this is just a very nasty way of dealing with what we dont want to face. It allows us to ignore the plight of the addicts because we wont have to worry that their children will be a drain on our emotions or finances or the social services of the state. It is easier to make sure that children aren't born, than care for them when they are, after all, what sort of life will they have? A life worth living?

Who knows - except you God. and of course, the children of alcoholic and drug addicts
I wonder how many of them seriously wish they had never been born..

The problem is NOT the child - but the parent and the society that fails to address the problems of addiction. The best way of resolving the 'problem' of these children is to fix society, not manipulate the gene pool. We need to invest in putting an end to the sort of suffering, social deprivation and injustices which almost inevitably leads to addiction in the first place.

It highlights the real difference between a secular and a Christian society. YOU cared enough to come as one of the least of us - a back-street bastard not a middle-class do-gooder. You cared enough to find a way to work with natural selection, to change behaviour, to transform society, to save the lost, not to destroy us or 'prevent' us from even being born. You take the risk with free will, and, even though you do know better, you believe in our future, in the possibility of our redemption, enough to work with us...

Its important that we see this 'project' for what it is - Project prevention is just a nasty ungodly way of stopping the problem of OUR pain, distress and discomfort at the lives that are damaged by abuse..
It does nothing for the addict to rehabilitate them, for society to make it better, and even less for the Children who might have been.
Its certainly not Christian
Its a cop out.

Pastoral Possession

2010-10-14T12:05:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
There are a significant number of stories in Scripture about possession which are hard to explain or relate to in a world that doesn't believe in either demons or possession. But that doesn't mean that such demons don't exist, or that possession isn't real.

Possession is very real - we try and possess people all the time, at one time we even made it legal! We speak unthinkingly of MY Husband, MY Wife, MY Children... But, if you really want to see a demon at work, you need look no further than at the sort of possession that ministers sometimes fall victim to... MY ministry, MY church, MY people. The harm that this can do is truly demonic ie divisive. ( The etymology of the Greek word for demon is from the verb daiesthai "to divide, distribute.")

I was asked this week if I was really able to take my sabbatical, to leave the Church in the care of others. Thankfully I believe that the answer is yes.. We have such well blessed Churches here that I genuinely have no fear or worries. The worship will be wonderful, the pastoral care second to none and the Churches will continue to grow in grace and holiness through this opportunity to explore ministry without me being there to tell people what to do.

I have seen the other side to this coin however.. I have seen a church divided and hurt by ministers who were so possessive that they simply could not let Your people go.

Ministerial possession really can divide and harm a Church. Whether through love, grace, guilt, insecurity or fear, ministers are the world's best at trying to 'own' the people that they are sent to share in the pastoral oversight of. They can get upset at the very idea that a member might prefer to be cared for by another minister, another Church, another preacher.. As though it is a competition, as though popularity is a valid measure of ministry... As though a minister has somehow failed if someone doesn't want the individual ministry being offered them.

Pastoral possession is ugly - and like all forms of possession it robs us of grace, love and reason.
Worse.. it works its mischief on the very people ministers are called to minister to. That same love, grace, guilt, insecurity or fear and sense of failure, begins to overshadow the pastoral relationship with the person needing care. Instead of being able to respond in grace to the pastoral need which provoked the possession, the minister takes on the role of the aggrieved one, the hurt and inconsolable one, in need of your love and support.. It's not that pastoral needs are neglected, but they often lack the fullest extent of the grace and love which would mark it as Christian.

This is in spite of the fact that time and time again, scripture teaches that your ministers are seldom popular - or loved when they are with your people. Look at Paul, or Timothy, Paul in particular wrestled with pastoral possession! But if ministers are true to their calling to follow you, then they will be ignored and slighted as well as loved and appreciated for their ministry. Ministry is both the best, and the worst calling that there is. Ministry is not about the ownership of souls but the cure of souls - an old odd expression, which means the nurture and care of souls through admonishment as well as teaching and sacrament. So Ministers are called to be offensive and challenging as well as supportive and comforting.
All of which means...
some of our members will like us and appreciate what we are trying to do
some never will.
Some of our members will always prefer the last minister they had.. even after we have left!

Of course this hurts because ministers care for the people they share in pastoral care for. One of the most amazing gifts of your grace has always been the bond that you establish between a people and those you send to minister to them in your name. But I have always found it a worthy hurt to offer back to you God, a token of my love.

Thankfully in Methodism we are encouraged to remember that no matter how many Churches are in a section, we never have sole pastoral responsibility, rather each minister is 'charged' to share in the pastoral care of your people with all of God's people. At local level we share with the pastoral committee and the stewards. At Circuit level we share with the circuit staff and Circuit officers, ditto for District level, and so on to Connexional level. The Connexion is an ecclesial expression of practical pastoral care. For Methodists, Pastoral care belongs to the priesthood of ALL believers, it is never one persons sole responsibility. Ministers might forget it sometimes, in their desire to serve your people well, but Church members seldom do.
They cure us of possession by reminding us - You call all of us to care - in your name.

And that's the glorious truth isn't it, the truth that sets us free to enjoy sabbaticals, to move stations, to minister to more than one congregation:
You didn't say to Peter 'Tend YOUR sheep, or feed YOUR lambs.. you made it perfectly clear - the sheep are not ours..

Tend my flock.. feed my sheep..

Your people are ours to love, feed and tend, not own.

Your people remain YOURS forever. (even when I'm on sabbatical!)

My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish.
No one can take them out of my hand.
John 10: 27 & 28

Collared!

2010-10-12T06:35:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Should ordained ministers wear clerical collars?
At one time of course, the question wouldn't even be asked - after all - what sort of ordained minister doesn't wear a clerical collar? Are they ashamed of the gospel, of their calling, of the Church?
Nowadays it is said that the collar 'gets in the way' of ordinary conversation - that it inhibits evangelism because people wont talk to ministers in collars.
Apparently it's not 'fresh' or "cool' or even sensible to wear a clerical collar at a family service or youth service, school assembly, cafe church, messy church etc etc...
Collars have come to be associated with all things stuffy, high-brow, liturgical, and - well - clerical!

It's starting to boarder on the predictable, isn't it.
Could the fact that the minister has started to wear light chinos and a polo shirt with a sweatshirt tied loosely around the neck or waist, be the first hint that congregation has that a fresh expression of Church may be in the offing?
Is the ministers preference for jeans to be understood as a preference for youth ministry?

Does it automatically follow that a cassock and collar means bells and smells in the service?

Isn't this all rather a shallow view of ordained ministry?

I made a deliberate choice to wear a clerical collar as a reminder to both myself and those that I meet that You are not absent from this world, and that my life cannot be lived without You God.
I choose to be marked out as different by what I wear because I own that by your grace and the Church's acceptance of your calling, I AM different - I am ordained.
It wasn't getting ordained that made me different, ordination is, in that respect, just the confirmation of difference. You called me to dare to be different, to be set-apart to proclaim your gospel in word and deed with all that I am. Your calling was not just to minister to the saved, or to those it was safe to minister to, but to be a light on a hill, a public unashamed, in-your-face statement that YOU are here for whoever needs you.

I cannot tell how many conversations have not happened because I was wearing a clerical collar - but I can testify to the number of amazing conversations I have had. Conversations in hospital waiting rooms, airport lounges, on trains and on buses, in the hairdressers and cinema! I haven't had to do anything but be accessible. The collar has provided the prompt, given the permission, begged the question, created the link..acted as a means of your prevenient grace.
From my experience, I think I would want to say to those who insist that the collar 'puts people off' that perhaps what is off-putting' may have more to do with the person than with the collar!

As our Western world grows increasingly more secular, surely it becomes ever more important for the Gospel to be seen as a life-choice not just a private Sunday habit? Whatever else can be said about it, the fact remains that when it is worn in the pub or the car park, the supermarket or the cinema, the train or the restaurant, the clerical collar does serve as a reminder that there are some who believe, who commit their whole life to that belief, and who choose not to hide that fact.

Justice for Israel/Palestine

2010-10-08T09:54:00.000+01:00

God - can we talk for a while?
It's about justice, and compassion and about identity and belonging.
I'm genuinely confused. To my way of thinking, the gospel has little to offer anyone in the Western world unless they are able to own the truth of St Paul's statement that in Christ there is now neither Jew nor Gentile. You chose not to send a Jewish Messiah AND a Gentile Messiah, and yet you offer grace and salvation for all. So at the very core of Western Christianity, whether we acknowledge it or not, is a deliberate choice by the Church to no longer see old divisions, especially not hereditary divisions, those fostered upon us unwittingly by accident of birth.
Which made me genuinely puzzled as to why any Christian here in the UK might insist on putting politics before people - or categories before compassion no matter how 'complex' or 'contrary' a situation might seem to be.

Until I read the Methodist report entitled Justice for Israel/Palestine.

Let me make it clear, I am not interested in getting into a debate about Jews vs Palestinians, neither am I interested in discussing whether or not the report is balanced or biased (that is already taking place at local Church and Circuit level here) What I am interested in, is finding out how Western Christians ever managed to lose sight of the fact that what is at stake in Israel Palestine is not who owns a piece of land but the answer to the question 'who is my neighbour..'

The answer surely should be - every single soul there. The only identity that should matter is the one that you give to each of us - and to every Jew and Palestinian - we are all your people. The parable makes it clear that our neighbour is the person in need, not the person of a particular politics or race or religion.

That we have lost sight of this is evidenced both by the report itself and by the debates currently taking place about it on the Methodist Blogosphere and elsewhere.

It is astonishing how much energy this report has generated.

I had some sympathy with Israelis who insist that they have been misrepresented in the report - not because I think that they have been (I dont) but because the report refuses to play the old games of trying to offer a classic 'say nothing but sigh plenty' approach on the grounds that this is just too complex a socio-political religious problem to get involved in.

This means that the report is not about what Palestinian's have been doing to Israelis or Israelis to Palestinians, it is about the heartache and grief of not loving our neighbour as ourselves. The report works hard to present the core religious and political issues whilst stating clearly that they have been allowed to play too big a part in excusing the inexcusable and blinding the Church and the world to the obvious - people are suffering and dying needlessly and it is time that it stopped.

What little sympathy I had is however being slowly but steadily eroded by the lobbying by those who disagree with the recommendations of the report - not least, the recommendation that the Church be encouraged to read and reflect on it.

As a minister, I have received a variety of emails and letters over this mater. Sadly, not one of them could be considered courteous for all of them began with the presumption that I am anti-Semitic. Many have referred to the Holocaust and several have made direct accusations about a hate campaign against the state of Israel. Some of those who sent the mail have also sent copies of the Jewish Board of Deputies response,. others have written their own responses, and in one case, I was provided with over 40 pages of additional information which it has been suggested I must allow my congregation to read in conjunction with the report in order to offset the presumed bias implicit within it.
All have insulted my Church and presumed that behind the report there is an institutional 'it' to blame. None have taken the trouble to ask me what I personally think of the report and what I might be inclined to do as a result.

I suspect the same degree of lobbying (which is beginning to feel like religious bullying) has been happening elsewhere. What else would persuade one Methodist local preacher and blogger to throw away his better judgement and threaten to sue the Methodist Church over the report? It would be very interesting to know whether or not he intends to finance the action from his own personal funds only. My suspicion, given the amount of lobbying going on by a few activists, is that he has allowed himself to act as a foil for a fight, rather than a light for a Gospel cause.

I can't help but wonder what he/they really hope to achieve by the action..
It wont further the work of the Gospel
It wont strengthen the witness of the Church to your love and unity
And it wont enable us to recognise all our brothers and sisters in Israel Palestine as our Neighbours

All it will do is hide the loss of life and suffering in Israel/Palestine behind the same old ancient hereditary prejudices that Christ died to end.

Comedic Grace

2010-10-05T06:33:00.000+01:00

Sir Norman Wisdom 1915-2010

Good morning God,
Today is a day for discovering grace - that peculiar heart-lifting, grin making, peace affording, pain stilling energy which permeates this world and provides us with a glimpse of your love.

Finding grace is not like counting blessings, its far more comedic than that. It's far more 'Norman Wisdom'; like playing peek-a-boo with your infant self. It's packed full of giggles and moments of wonder that something so simple can give rise to so much joy and contentment - even if there were a million tears just thirty seconds earlier.
There are, of course, proven 'means of grace'... Wesley wrote enough about them (come to think of it, so have I!) but there are also the more spontaneous and less religious means which we too often forget about, but which God chooses to remind us of - if we go looking.

Great comedians like Norman Wisdom had that rare gift of being able to remind us of that fact. It was impossible to take yourself seriously when watching one of his films.. and who can see his face without wanting to smile?

Yet in his films he often played the most vulnerable, love-lorn, helpless characters - 'real' people, not 'clever' people. The ones that did fall down, get pushed around, live in a daze, and yet make the whole world laugh through their childlike innocence and generosity of Spirit. His films frequently turned on a moment of grace, when his character was helped to see that he was loved, just as he was.

In his real life he epitomized the bizarre comedic nature of grace - after all who would have thought that someone born so poverty stricken could rise to become such a star - ending up a cult figure in communist Albania no less! - and all by making the world laugh!

In memory of Norman who died today aged 95 - I shall try to enjoy it when I fall down today. Instead of complaining or resenting the inevitable embarrassment of looking an idiot in public, I shall try and find some way to pick myself back up, dust myself down, and look around in surprise for whatever tripped me up.

In his honour, and for my own benefit - I shall spend today looking for the unexpected, for the comedic, for the moment of grace that teaches me to not only 'get a life' but to live it laughing for as long as I can.

The Problem with prayer...

2010-10-02T07:40:00.002+01:00


Pneuma: Breath of God Gwen Meharg

Good morning God,
It's been a long and painful night recovering from yesterday's surgery. My guess is that I would not have minded the pain and discomfort so much if I had known that there had been some gain as a result of it. But if you don't mind me saying God, to go through the whole process only to be told in the recovery room that it had not been possible to achieve the desired objective was bitterly disappointing, and not just for me. I wanted to be able to breathe without effort again... was that too much to ask?

So I have spent the night reflecting on yesterday's prayers..
And on the answers to those prayers.

The problem with prayer is that it is a relationship not a miracle machine, and whilst prayers are answered as relationships are deepened and the world changes, it is not a magic solution or some sort of heavenly qwiki-mart where needs and desirables can be bought and paid for by the weight of words or intent of the faithful.

In times of need however, it is easy to forget that. It is easy to succumb to the idea that being in a good (or even great!) relationship with you means that I have some sort of discount at this store of salvation. That there is shelf somewhere with my name on it, which has my health and wealth and happiness waiting to be bought, if only I have enough faith or grace to pay for it or enough friends to make up the shortfall if I dont. There are, I know many Christians who think this is what Christ came for - to pay for those things on our personal shelves which we could never otherwise afford - but I'm not one of them - thank you God.

I think we tend to slip into this sort of understanding of prayer whenever life threatens our relationships with you, with ourselves and with one another. But whilst miracles can and do happen, and whilst I believe prayer is the most powerful force in the universe - I do not believe that it is as a result of any credit or debit balance of faith or grace. You are not so cruel or so crass as to deny life, health or happiness based on how many people have prayed, or how much they meant the prayers they offered.

So when I start to reflect on yesterday's prayers, I have to begin with the small but frequent prayers of thanks we shared throughout the day for the number of wonderful supportive friends and Church family who were holding me in their prayers - especially for the fact that so many were able to let me know by facebook, email and twitter - it was wonderful throughout the time of waiting for surgery and in the recovery room afterwards to receive that steady stream of grace.. just a word, often a joke or something to make me smile - to quell fear, and to remind me that I am not alone in all this, I am with you and I am in the minds and hearts of those we both love.

I prayed as I let go of consciousness. to be safe in your keeping.
And that prayer stayed with me until you woke me with it's answer.
I am with you Always.

And it will always be thus.

So, OK, I am denied the quick-fix..In my case, at this moment in time, the combination of constriction of the bronchial tubes and the cancer which is in the glands surrounding them made fitting a stent more dangerous than not fitting a stent.

But there are other, albeit slower, ways of gaining the air that I crave.

I am going to have to learn to breathe properly again, to work at it and not just take it for granted - its not rocket science but it will take time and effort. I have to practice breathing deeply and fully all the time, and resist the bad habits of just snatching at breath as and when I want it without care for how my body will supply it!

A bit like prayer really..
Never a quick fix

But surely well worth the effort to live fully.

So, a new verse to my favourate hymn:

Give me air in my lungs keep me praying
Give me air in my lungs this day
Give me air in my lungs keep me praying
Keep me praying til the break of day.

all together now...
Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna to the King of Kings
Sing Hosanna, Sing Hosanna, Sing hosanna to the King

p.s. cant help but notice the glorious wry humour in all this God - given my passionate dislike of those who insist in introducing a hushed 'breathy' note into their voice when they are trying to be 'Christian' and caring.

A last Eucharist

2010-09-29T08:04:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Its amazing how the knowledge of impending absence is affecting the way I feel about this week's Eucharist. This will be the last supper that I will preside at for a long time. The words of the liturgy seem to have acquired a hitherto undreamed of meaning and clarity as I prepare to leave a people that you have enabled me to love and serve by your grace.

Please don't misunderstand God, have no 'fear' for those I love. I know that in my absence they will be more than well provided for by you and others - Christ alone is the indispensable minister of grace (I learned that a loooong time ago!)
But I find I am torn by conflicting emotions and grief competes with joy as I prepare.
Reflecting on this, and on the words I will be saying, I am astonished to discover an absence at the heart of the Eucharist which I had not allowed myself to notice before, probably because I have always been so concerned with trying to mediate your presence God.

The words of the liturgy are very definitely all in the wrong tense -
We declare the mystery of faith
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again ,
instead of
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ is come again...
and we pray -
'send down your Holy Spirit' - rather than giving thanks that your Holy Spirit is already present.

In these, and so many other ways, we speak eschatalogicaly - in terms of a promised future presence - ie a very present absence! (and for the theologically aware - nope, I dont really think realized eschatology cuts it here)

Lex orandi, lex credendi - what we pray is what we believe.. in which case, liturgically speaking at least, I would have to say that the Church believes in your presence as the risen Christ by praying about Your absence!

This 'last' Eucharist will be a very special. We are a small group, who have learned to bear one another's burdens. My presence is not an essential component of this act of worship, merely a welcome one. Your presence on the other hand, is crucial. Without YOU God, the Eucharist is merely an empty ritual, a remembering less we forget.. that once, a long time ago, you loved us enough to come as one of us.. and that you promise, one day, to come again.

do this - to remember me...

like binding words on our foreheads, counting beads, or tying knots in tassels

I can find nothing in the words we say, in the liturgy we use, to suggest that you are present in anything other than the future promised to us..

which begs the question God...

is this why transubstantiation is deemed so necessary by so many?!!

Cat heaven

2010-09-23T08:50:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
I really miss Velvet this morning.

When we took her to the vets last night to put an end to her pain and suffering, it seemed like the right thing to do, but was it? Did we have the right? Is there an afterlife for cats, a heaven where she is finally free?

She was one of those who never stood a chance. As a result of being terribly abused by her first owners, she never learned to trust humans. In 12 years, she never once sat willingly on a lap and she only tolerated being stroked when and where she wanted, once a day, just before feeding!
But she seemed content with us and over time had managed to make a space in our home and in our lives that she knew was her own which she was comfortable with. As long as we asked no more of her than she was willing to give - all was well.

We saw the first signs of the cancer in July, and it has been a rapid decline since then.
Her tumor was on her face, blocking her nostril, closing one eye, giving her, in the early days at least, a sort of sleepy lop-sided look, as though she couldn't quite bring herself to wake up.
And the weight just fell off her.
We could do nothing but watch as our beautiful british blue, was ravaged by this insidious disease.
There was no comfort we could give - she still didn't want to be touched or stroked, we could not give her oxygen or help her to breathe and we failed to find a food that could tempt her to eat.
We knew that we were not prepared to let her 'suffer' - but how do you know when the time is right?
Were we taking her to the vets because we could not bear to watch, or because it really was the best thing to do for her?

It's hard enough to make such a decision at the best of times - but, if you don't mind me saying God, it seems particularly cruel to have had to make it at a time when my health has been so problematic.

Like Velvet, for the last three weeks breath is something I have no longer been able to take for granted - it has been, and still is, hard fought for following a serious chest infection. Although the infection has cleared up and I am managing to work, my breathing is still not good and by the end of each day I am completely exhausted by the constant effort of just trying to get enough air into my lungs to live another day.

When the infection was at its height - there was a time when I almost wanted someone to end my life - the pain and terror of not being able to breathe was more than I thought I could bear, as was watching Brian's distress at not being able to help in any way...
Was that memory what persuaded us to take Velvet to the vet yesterday..?

Projection - when one problem or situation is projected onto another to create enough distance to allow the more personal or difficult problem to be either dismissed, or dealt with.

Anthropomorphizing - attributing human traits and attributes to animals or objects..

Prayer - the gift you give of honest enquiry.

I believe I will live after death - and yes, I believe we made the right decision for Velvet - she is at peace, freedom from her pain and her suffering was a gift we could give her. But what I don't know - and what I need to know at this moment in time (even if it is just projecting or anthropomorphizing) is whether there is an afterlife for cats.

What say you God?

Ministerial whining?

2010-09-16T08:53:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
It has been seriously suggested to me that I rethink my vocation, that I have misunderstood what ministry is and that I should look to leaving the Church if all I want to do is whine about my working conditions. It has also been implied that I am taking a pop at the Connexional team, that I am out to slur them and make mischief or worse at their expense..

What on earth could I have done to have blotted my copybook so thoroughly?

Oh, yes,, that's right, I have dared to suggest that the Church considers practicing what it preaches, and updates the working conditions for circuit ministers as laid out in CPD so that they are a better reflection of its theology of grace.

Perhaps I should have been prepared for it God, but I have been astonished by some of the responses I have received over the last week. In amongst the many replies recognising the need for the Church to have a debate about current working conditions, there have been a small but significant minority who have decided that anyone who wants a change in their 'terms and conditions' must somehow be less of a minister...

To those who say ministers are not employees -
Hurrah... I too believe in the Covenant relationship and do not want to be an employee. The expectations of the Covenant vis-a-vis our working conditions are already spelt out in CPD - updating them will not suddenly make us employees.

To those who say ministry is who we are, not what we do -
Agreed again.. but let's not lie and say that ministers don't need or enjoy our days off or holidays like everyone else! Updating the conditions in CPD will not make us LESS ministerial by encouraging us to have a more realistic work-life balance!

To those who think I'm having a pop at the Connexional team..
Huh?
The fact that ministers who work at Methodist Church House or outside of circuit ministry usually have contracts which stipulate a 5 day working week is cause for thanksgiving not ridicule - surely!
To make mention of this is not some subtle or perverse way of saying that I think the Connexional Team dont work hard enough.
To ask for the same notional working conditions for circuit ministers is simply to point out and ask for an extension of existing GOOD PRACTICE.

To those who think I have lost my vocation...
Asking for a change in working conditions does not mean that I am only interested in putting my material interests before those of my flock. As someone who has been involved in the training and theological education of many of our ministers, I'm just not prepared to ignore the fact that too many ministers are falling sick and leaving the Church because they cannot live up to the increasing demands of some circuits based on current expectations.(not my own circuit I hasten to add!)
A small change in CPD could make a big change in how some people feel about their ability to minister. To watch over one another in love is part of our shared ministry.

In 'What is a Presbyter' we are told that

A presbyter is a ‘whole' person, interconnected with others through family, friendship or other close relationships
and
A presbyter ensures that his or her family and personal commitments are not neglected

The same is true of Deacons..

To ask that CPD is updated so that this is implicit in our working conditions is not whining - its practicing what we preach.
Isn't it?

35 hour working week for all ministers?

2010-09-07T10:08:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,

A 5 day, 35 hour working week for all ministers - yes even CIRCUIT ministers? Is it possible, is it desirable? As promised, here's the text of a circuit memorial which, if adopted and sent to Conference, might at least persuade us to examine the working conditions of circuit ministers.
What do you think God? I know, I know, we would all do the work anyway, but if we felt we were only supposed to be 'working' 35 hours a week, we might at least give ourselves permission to stop after 48.. instead of the usual 60-70..
It might even encourage more lay people to become actively involved again - or even consider ministry as an option if they saw half-decent working conditions..

Anyway.. here's the first draft to be put to our circuit meeting.

Text of memorial: The xxxx Circuit draws the Conference’s attention to the increasing number of ministers leaving circuit ministry for reasons of stress, finance and poor working conditions and asks Conference to address the issue directly by implementing the following changes to ministerial working conditions without reduction of Stipend from the start of the Connexional year 2011:
1) Standardise on a notional 5 day, 35 hour working week for all ministers.
(These are the working hours of ministers based at MCH)
2) Remove the 12 quarter days per year
3) Require Circuits to comply with the European Working Directive and ensure that no minister works more than 48 hours a week when averaged over a 17 week period.

Background or supporting statement:
Ministry is a vocation which demands sacrificial giving of time and energy. As the Church has declined however, more and more is being asked of few and fewer ministers. The review of the pension scheme has highlighted the fact that there has been a significant increase, year upon year, in the number of younger (below 50 years of age) ministers retiring early on the grounds of stress. The call for a ‘Year of Jubilee’ at Conference 2010 is further indication of the extent to which the whole Church is beginning to feel pressured. For the Church to flourish and grow it needs a ministry which is energised and refreshed not permanently tired. It also needs for ministry to appeal to a new generation as a vocation which, whilst it may be both challenging and dynamic, is nonetheless still doable. It is our belief that the current Conference ruling (given below) is no longer able to achieve that objective.

The Conference recognises the impossibility and the undesirability of too strict a rule on a minister’s or deacon’s use of time, such as a sessional apportionment would entail, and it also recognises the economic restrictions which make the ideal unachievable; but it considers that the application of the principles of any person’s need of rest, recreation, exercise, fellowship, and above all a full family life, would require:
1. 35 days’ holiday each year, plus the equivalent of statutory public holidays. Such entitlement would include five Sundays free of duties, of which at least two would be consecutive Sundays and, for ministers, one Local Preachers’ Sunday.
2. A break of three consecutive weekdays (if possible away from home) each quarter.
3. A minimum break of 24 hours each week, without structured work and if possible away from the manse.
4. A period of up to an hour’s break each day for recreation and exercise.
5. Where there is a Sunday between Christmas and New Year probationers should be free on that Sunday.
The Conference recommends each minister and deacon to cultivate a hobby from the outset.

God's Clearing House

2010-08-19T08:47:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
I wonder how many of our seminaries will be contacted as part of the UCAS clearing process today, after all, every one of them offers degree programs, from Foundation Degrees, through to Bachelors, and even Masters and Doctorates.

This could be a great opportunity for us.

We could advertise for students by suggesting that a failure to obtain the grades they needed for university might just be God's way of 'calling' them to the ministry instead.

No, I'm not being facetious.

We have long since stopped expecting the countries brightest and best to join the ministry. (if we ever did of course) Historically it was once expected that the oldest son of the landed Gentry would inherit and manage the family estate, whilst younger sons would enter the Army or Navy or the Church!
Now, to be truthful, we no longer expect or even try to attract young people of university age into the vocation.

Madness!

Instead of retreating from the younger generation we need to be courting them: advertising our degree courses, pushing our vocational degrees, even attending the milk-round of graduates and offering them further vocational training to complement their degrees, if they will take a fast-track to ministry.

We should be thinking about our failing Churches and Circuits in the same way that the government thinks about failing schools. It takes good management skills, entrepreneurial ability, marketing and business skills to turn a failing Church into thriving centre for the next generation's growth in grace and holiness. It's time to start fast tracking student ministers in the same way that the state fast tracks student teachers. We need young people, with the necessary skill base who are prepared to take on the challenge of real leadership, to use all the gifts and graces that God has given them, to turn the Church around and bring it kicking and screaming into the 21st Century.

Perhaps getting the wrong A level Grades is just the start - try a different sort of degree...

NO - we don't need the young person to be an exemplary Christian first, we don't even need them to have faith - we need them to want to do the work, to want to have faith.
Wesley's lack of faith didn't stop him doing the job.. He was told : Preach faith until you have it, and then, because you have it - you will preach faith..

So for all the young people out there who don't have the grades they needed and who want a real challenge in life: Contact one of our seminaries: Not only might you get a place on a degree course, but the way might be open to a whole new way of life that is deeply rewarding and endlessly fascinating!

You too might be heading up a charity with a turn-over of over of anything from £50,000 to half a million pounds or more a year, managing a highly skilled staff and using your position to make real changes to the local community and perhaps even the world - all within just a few short years of your graduation/ordination...

May the Lord lift up his face..

2010-08-16T20:34:00.000+01:00

Good evening God,
can we talk frankly for a moment? I need to be honest about something that's really bothering me..
it's my face, or rather, the fact that the face I see in the mirror these days isn't a face that I recognise as mine, and that's something that really is beginning to bug me. What's disturbing me is how quickly other people have grown used to this face - as though it is mine, as though this is who I am now...

I've never been particularly interested in my face before now, I've only put make-up on once or twice in my entire life, and as for my hair, well I've been as happy to cut it myself to get it out of my eyes as I have been to pay someone else to do it for me. So I think I can truthfully say, my problem is not based on vanity or or any need to look a million dollars (who wants to look that green and grubby!)
I'm not concerned about looking 'pretty', I just want to look like me, to me, again.

Please don't misunderstand. I am truly grateful for the miracle of life. I do know how amazing it is to still be here after surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. I am well aware of how petty this must sound to some people! I am alive, so what if it means that I don't look like I used to, surely that's a small price to pay isn't it?

Yes..

and no.

There is something about the image of ourselves that we carry around inside our heads which is intensely personal and definitive: It doesn't just shape how we see ourselves, it affects how we relate to others on a very deep and spiritual level. It took courage to wear a wig when I lost my hair through chemotherapy, but it actually takes more grit and determination to simply face the world each day looking like a stranger to myself. The insecurity it generates is quite astonishing.

The bottom line is that I can't rely on this face to communicate all the love and compassion I have for the people I meet: I don't know how well, if at all, this face is able to reflect the light of your love, the gift of your grace, and the joy of your presence. I don't know how to lift up this face..

Did you?

I mean, did you, when you took human flesh, know how to look out at the world through a face that was not able to express all that you wanted it too, all that you needed to say, all that you truly felt inside? Did your face as Jesus, feel strange to you, alien to you, less than who you really were? Did you feel you were able to sustain relationships, form new ones, communicate love, grace, hope and joy just as you wanted to?

or was this why graven images are forbidden, is that why they can seem so empty, so undesirable?

I am grateful for the fact that deep inside, I know who I am.
That for most of each day, I am able to forget that I do not look like me to me, and so am able to simply be me..
I am grateful too for that amazing prayer, and for the promise it offers to people like myself who may, or may not, recover the outward image of themselves in this lifetime and so have to trust that they reflect your face instead:

The LORD bless you

and keep you;

the LORD make his face shine upon you

and be gracious to you;

the LORD turn his face toward you

and give you peace.”’

Thanks for the rant

Wife Hunting

2010-08-13T08:00:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
One of the joys of being able to keep a church open every day during the day, is the opportunity it provides for prayer and pastoral ministry to the whole community.

Given its size and location, New Malden is a surprisingly diverse community. It is currently dominated by three specific groups;
White Europeans (including a growing number of Eastern Europeans),
Koreans (New Malden has the largest community of Koreans in Europe) and
Sri Lankans (mainly Tamil).

In our cafe we also have a regular table set aside for a group of Syrian Orthodox, Iraqi refugees.

On some days, it can sometimes seem as though the whole world has come to us to share in the warmth and hospitality that the Church is able to offer by its presence on the High Street.
It does, however, also pose some interesting pastoral conundrums - when cultures clash and faith is challenged to think differently about prayer and action, morals and ethics.

This week, for example, I was asked to pray with a Christian Tamil gentleman who had traveled to New Malden from Denmark in search of a wife for his 25 year old Son. "Only God can help me in my search", he explained, "so it makes sense to start here - would you please pray that I will be successful and find for him a wife who will travel back with me to Denmark?"

Although I know that many Christian cultures still practice arranged marriages, it is not something that we encounter very often in the Churches here. Throughout most of the Western world, people presume that marriage is the union of two people who are already in love. The idea of someone else choosing our life-partner for us challenges our presumptions of freedom, individuality, autonomy..

BUT
Isn't marriage all about the renunciation of those things? The loss of I in WE, the willing abandonment of personal freedoms in favour of shared responsibilities, the death of self for the sake of something new.

The difference is, of course, that some cultures still consider marriage to be a part of their social and religious duty rather than just a personal privilege. They believe that those who can marry should, for the sake of society; not least, to ensure that children are raised in the best possible environment.
Marriage is not about what 'I' want, or even about what 'we' would like to do, but about what You command and the world needs,

Considered in that light, it is far too important to be left to the whim of an often fleeting emotional or physical response to another individual. If it is to benefit society, and enrich the life of the whole extended family then it needs to be carefully, prayerfully thought through.. and who best to choose the partners than those who know the young people best?
You - and of course, the parents!

Whilst I could never condone a forced marriage or an unwilling marriage - I believe there is much to be said for an arranged marriage based on loving trust and mutual consent. Following conversation, and a shared service of holy communion, I found that I was genuinely happy to pray with the father in search of a bride for his son. What's more, I trust that our prayers will be answered and that you will guide him to the family of the young woman who would be willing to commit herself to the new life waiting for her in Denmark.

It is indeed, a great privilege to be able to share in prayer with people from all over the world, not least because the requests that others make of us are such an amazing invitation from You to rethink our own requests.

A five day week..?

2010-08-04T10:07:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,

I was reminded this week amidst all the comments about Clergy Burn-Out of my first Superintendent (You never forget your first!) In the first three months of my ministry, he took the trouble to go through my diary with me, and make sure that I took things out as well as put things in. He would point out, for example, that I had a ladies fellowship meeting arranged for Tuesday afternoon, but had set aside no time to prepare for it - were these women not worth the effort - or did I think I would prepare in my sleep? Similarly for Church meetings - when had I set aside time to re-read the minutes of the last meeting, to pray about the work to be done, to seek God's guidance - or was that supposed to happen sometime in between the opening devotions and the apologies for absence?
His gentle but insistent reordering of my diary, helped me to shape not only my time but also my theology of Church order - invaluable!
Later on, as we developed a team ministry in the Circuit, we would meet weekly at 8:00am and the final part of our business was to share our diaries as part of watching over one another in love. This also had the amazing effect of teaching us what work we were each engaged in, how to play to one another's strengths, and how to avoid duplication. There can be no doubt about it - opening the diary to scrutiny reduced the work load.
BUT
It's not common practice, most ministers seem determined to hoard their work-load as though it is treasure from heaven (which it certainly isn't!). Very few ministers seem confident enough to celebrate a lighter week as a Godsend, leave alone ask for help with a demanding week.
There can be no doubt in my mind that collegiality is better than legislation when it comes to the provision of appropriate pro-active supervision. We shared diaries because we cared about each others work load, as well as the work of the Circuit. We worked as a team because that was what Circuit ministry was supposed to be all about. We also learned the hard way that it only takes one unwilling person to destroy a team.
Given the increasing sizes of circuits and the demands placed on lay and ministerial staff alike, it becomes harder and harder to realistically watch over one another in love - leave alone create and sustain an effective circuit (ie team) ministry.
So what to do?
I think that Micky Youngston and others are right - now is the time to debunk the myth of ministry being of necessity a 24/7 job and recognise that it is the calling that is 24/7 not the work!
It's time to insist first and foremost on realistic working hours for ministers. If the European time directive is good enough for other vocational professionals like doctors and consultants - then it should be good enough for ministers. No more than 40 hours per week maximum. And - YES - ministers should have two days a week off - if possible to be taken consecutively!
A radical rethink of ministerial working hours would undoubtedly serve to re-engage the laity - or better yet - help us to set realistic priorities. Do we really need yet another meeting for the carpet in the Sanctuary or to set the calendar of social committee meetings for the year?
Above all this however, it would send out the message, loud and clear, to ministers and laity alike that the work of ministry should not be so demanding that the minister is unable to take the time to grow in grace and holiness, to fulfil their calling which includes their responsibilities to their families and friends.
I know that few ministers would be able to hold to 40 hours, but changing the working hours would make it possible to hold us accountable for 40 hours - and questions could then rightly be asked about any excess!
It might make ministers more willing to share their diaries, if they didn't feel that every hour from 8:00am til 10:00pm had to be spoken for. It might encourage greater honesty about unrealistic work loads, and help to stem the tide of those leaving the ministry for better paid, 5 day a week posts. (It's worth noting that Connexional posts are only 5 days a week rather than the Circuit based 6 days!)
It's time to draft circuit and district resolutions to Conference, to send a message loud and clear - along with personnel files for ministers, we want decent working hours.
But above all this God - what we really want is a means of watching over one another in love.

Never just a username.

2010-07-28T16:18:00.000+01:00

Good afternoon God,
I've spent a significant amount of time online this week, engaged in various forms of ministry: prayer support by email, fellowship via blogger, twitter and facebook, bible-study via the net.bible, theological education via moodle, pastoral care and evangelism in second life. I have to be honest, I really enjoy this ministry. I 'meet' people from all over the world, am challenged by what I encounter and am frequently supported in my own ministry by the general grace of the online community.

Thank you - for making the digital world such a means of grace sometimes.

But of course, there is another side to all this: there are the abusive emails, the offensive tweets, the lurkers and spammers with their malicious viruses and trojans.. The digital world can be every bit as unpleasant a place to minister or just spend time in, as the 'real' world can be.

Perhaps it has something to do with the anonymity of the internet. It is easy to forget that there are 'real' people behind the usernames.

People often 'say' things in emails, blogs and tweets that they would never say face to face, and can behave in the most inappropriate manner. I have known friends whose careers have been ruined by being tagged in edited facebook photos and by having bad references posted about them in Linkedin & Plaxo. Internet bullying is a significant problem which effectively results in the victim being too scared to go online to see what else has been blogged/tweeted/Digged about them. This is more common than many realise: Half the people surveyed by BeatBullying last year, for example, had heard of people setting up a fake profile pretending to be another person; one in five had seen hate sites or groups set up to bully someone online.

Much as I love this digital world - especially the always on variety - and the ways in which it can be a means of grace, I am bothered about the level of fraud, abuse, deceit and manipulation that I encounter online these days. And even more concerned about the less obvious, but just as harmful snide remarks, cutting comments, thoughtless tweets and breaches of confidentiality.

I may not set out to scam or phish or defraud - but as part of my own ministry, I need to keep checking - am I as considerate as I can be, as thoughtful and as sensitive to the fact that behind each username lies a real person, with real feelings, who can be hurt deeply?

I believe those of us who are logged on and online could help by practicing 'ministry' more effectively and deliberately in the virtual world. The online community can be an amazing place for people to learn of you, to study your Word, to witness to your grace, to proclaim your gospel, to minister genuine care and compassion, as well as to campaign against racism, violence and abuse wherever these are found.

But all this requires each of us who aspire to such a ministry to remember that people are not just a username - they are never just a username - YOU have called each and everyone logged in, by name, they are REAL and they are YOURS - no matter how crazy their avatar or icon is!

Clerical Errors: Child abuse and Women's Ordination

2010-07-18T16:43:00.005+01:00

.
Good afternoon God,
I've been needing to talk to you about the fuss caused by the Roman Catholic Church's recently published

MODIFICATIONS MADE IN THE NORMAE DE GRAVIORIBUS DELICTIS

The part that has caused several of my fellow bloggers to get all excited is:

Art. 5 

The more grave delict of the attempted sacred ordination of a woman is also reserved to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith: 

1° With due regard for can. 1378 of the Code of Canon Law, both the one who attempts to confer sacred ordination on a woman, and she who attempts to receive sacred ordination, incurs a latae sententiae excommunication reserved to the Apostolic See. 

2° If the one attempting to confer sacred ordination, or the woman who attempts to receive sacred ordination, is a member of the Christian faithful subject to the Code of Canons of the Eastern Churches, with due regard for can. 1443 of that Code, he or she is to be punished by major excommunication reserved to the Apostolic See. 

3° If the guilty party is a cleric he may be punished by dismissal or deposition[31].

Put in English this means that both the woman and anyone daft enough to try and ordain her is automatically and instantly excommunicated.

Now there is nothing new in this - this is NOT what has upset people - it is the fact that the next item in the document is:

Art. 6 §

1. The more grave delicts against morals which are reserved to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith are:
1° the delict against the sixth commandment of the Decalogue committed by a cleric with a minor below the age of eighteen years; in this case, a person who habitually lacks the use of reason is to be considered equivalent to a minor.
2° the acquisition, possession, or distribution by a cleric of pornographic images of minors under the age of fourteen, for purposes of sexual gratification, by whatever means or using whatever technology;
§ 2. A cleric who commits the delicts mentioned above in § 1 is to be punished according to the gravity of his crime, not excluding dismissal or deposition.

Again - to translate this into English - a cleric who has sex with a minor (or vulnerable adult) or who acquires, produces, uses or distributes pornographic images of minors will be punished 'according to the gravity of his crime - which could mean that they get dismissed or removed from office.

People (including some newspapers) have therefore assumed that the Catholic Church is equating women's ordination with child abuse. Not so. They are simply recording in one document all the changes that have been made to the document which details delicts against the faith.

Ok.. so the Catholic Church has shot itself in the foot maybe by putting both things in the same document - but the document collects a number of changes together - including the prohibition against con-celebration, and; 'the taking or retaining for a sacrilegious purpose or the throwing away of the consecrated species'

There ARE things that I would want to take the Roman Catholic Church to task over - but sorting out their clerical errors, their admin and documentation is not one of them. Putting these things in the same document was bad PR maybe, but there was no intent on the part of the Catholic Church to equate the items in the document in any other way than as willful acts or crimes against the faith and its moral and sacramental standards

I'm more upset that the attempt to ordain women results in automatic excommunication for both parties whereas abusing a minor may result in dismissal - now that IS something to get upset about.

Why.. because it says that the Church is more afraid of the influence of women on faith than it is concerned about the lives of children. It says it really still hasn't got the message that abuse is NEVER acceptable in Church - that it destroys not just the individual's life of faith, but the Church itself.
I abhor the hypocrisy of a Church that can preach suffer little children to come unto me - but which will not take steps to ensure that those same Children are as safe as they can be in the Church's hands.

I really don't mind that the Catholic Church is scared of my influence on the life of the Church - it should be - that's why You call women to Holy Orders - to challenge any human attempt to limit Your action in the world - or in Your Church. I don't mind because if the Church really is of You God then your will, will be done in the end - whereas if it is not - then the Church will simply die.

BUT
When the Church sends out signals that effectively says the Church is more at risk from women than from abuse - I am afraid for us all - we really have lost the plot.

As a Methodist, I don't believe in excommunication anyway - it is a denial of your grace God - (as though WE can decide who is and who is not a part of your body!) But I do understand that for Catholics and Orthodox, excommunication is a serious matter - a matter of life and death for all eternity as there is no salvation outside of the Church according to this way of thinking.

SO - it time to end the abuse - to work on the text

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matt 18:6)

No, I can't get excited about the Catholic Church's attitude to women - I just don't need the catholic Church to approve my ordination - and as I am not and never have been a Catholic - the threat of excommunication doesn't bother me. I have Salvation by faith, not by belonging.

I do however need their clerics to stop abusing Children and making a mockery of the good news of Jesus Christ's invitation to 'let the Children come' - and I suspect the threat of automatic excommunication might have more of an effect than the threat of deposition.

I think God, that there are some clerical errors still in need of correction in that document.

Reasonable Religion

2010-07-16T09:51:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
Thank you for the gift of reason, and for the invitation you extend to all of us to use it to understand, appreciate and evolve, to grow as your children into the inheritance you have prepared for us.

There is, of course, a world of difference between the genuine attempts of both science and theology to understand why and how the world is as it is - and the less distinguished (but understandably human) efforts of all too many to find someone or something to blame for the mess we are in.
It is much easier to blame than explain. Its often much more rewarding too - especially if we can blame those who are at the top of the current scape-goat list: In the past this list has included Jews, Blacks, Communists, Gays, Liberals, Fundamentalists, Catholics, Muslims, Politicians..
You know the list I mean, the people it is fashionable to blame for holding humanity back, for the wars, for the hatred, for the economy, for.. well, whatever it is we want to have a rant about really..
No matter how apparently rationally it is presented however, blaming is not the same as explaining - and does nothing to further human growth and development.

Science and theology require an openness to reason without prejudice, but most people are too willing to sacrifice reason on the altar of prejudice. Take Dawkins for example, and the new breed of militant atheists. Many will happily throw away all scientific objectivity to take a pop at religion - as though 'religion' is a genus, easy to categorize, define, analyze and generalise about! All 'religious' are fanatics, 'Bible Bashers', irrational etc etc. Yes, yes - of course, just as all Politicians are liars, all Communists are evil, all Liberals wishy-washy etc etc etc.

What fascinates me is the way in which those more interested in blaming than explaining seem to think that they actually KNOW how 'the religious' (whoever they are) or 'Politicians' or 'Gays' etc behave, think, act etc..

The Social Sciences may have proven that violence begets violence - that even watching acts of violence can lead to violence, but the gospel doesn't allow us to blame the TV or Computer games, or politicians or 'the religious' or anyone else for it. You have repeatedly shown us that the violence that really destroys this world begins in ourselves.
In the life of Christ, you showed us the best of what humanity is capable of, and in the death of Christ you showed us the worst of what humanity is capable of. The gospels thus become an invitation to do more than blame others for the past, they invite us to consider an uncomfortable explanation - that the violence we claim to abhor, begins in ourselves.

We may have mapped the human genome, but to the best of my knowledge, we have yet to find a way of accurately and predictably mapping the thoughts of a single human mind.. Even though we know this, even though we know that we cannot really know the mind or heart of another human being, we persist in pretending that we know enough to identify, label and blame..

Because it is easier to blame others than it is to look to ourselves.

You gave us reason - for a reason. Not to make a god of our intelligence (time and time again we see how wrong we are and how little we really understand). You gave us reason as an invitation to learn and grow and understand. Reason enables us to recognise that we are made in your image, to wonder, to be curious, to explore what it is to be. And not content with this, you gave us the ability to develop our reasoning to remember and to imagine, to learn from the past and envisage a new future. A future where we take full responsibility for our own acts of violence, greed, fear and prejudice - and so learn how to deal with them before they create more of the same in others.

Scientific proof

2010-07-14T09:01:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
Today I was amazed to realise that it's only taken us 20 centuries or so since the time of Christ to figure out (and I quote from today's edition of the New Scientist, a leading scientific journal)

You can't fight violence with violence

Yep.. we have now scientifically proved the obvious..
The fact that you have been repeatedly telling us the same thing doesn't really count God, I mean we don't really believe things these days unless scientists tell us do we -
so I wonder what we will do now that they have?

Will we kill the scientist too?

Captain of Israel's host and Guide

2010-07-01T07:43:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,

I was moved by our Church yesterday, by its willingness to engage in difficult debates on sensitive issues with care, compassion, and conviction that social holiness means wrestling with issues of justice, even with, or rather especially with, friends.

The debate on Justice for Palestine and Israel was always going to be difficult, there are strong feelings on both sides..
Just how many Methodists will boycott settlement goods remains to be seen. Here in the UK we are only a small Church with no real clout - but we are also part of a much larger international body, and this resolution and report may yet contribute to the work of the social responsibility committee of the World Methodist Council.

We cannot claim we do not know about the pain of the Palestinians:
Neither can we ignore the question
'who is my neighbour?'
Especially not when they lie bloodied and broken in the streets of what was once their home town.

There is no magic answer to the problem, and I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to live in constant fear of a rocket attack or suicide bomber.. but this I do know, you cannot combat fear with terror, and racial injustice is a denial of the gospel - wherever it is found, in London or Palestine..

There is now in Christ, neither Jew nor Gentile - that includes Palestinians...

I do not take sides either for or against Jews or Palestinians - but I pray I have the courage to stand for something more important - the equality of all humanity before God, and the right of all people to live as the words of the Conference closing hymn says 'As Far from danger as from fear'

CAPTAIN of Israel's host, and guide
Of all who seek the land above,
Beneath thy shadow we abide,
The cloud of thy protecting love;
Our strength, thy grace; our rule, thy word;
Our end, the glory of the Lord.

By thine unerring Spirit led,
We shall not in the desert stray;
We shall not full direction need,
Nor miss our providential way;
As far from danger as from fear,
While love, almighty love, is near.

Ministerial Education

2010-06-30T07:34:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,
What do you need your ministers to know in the 21st century?
I ask because its the one question we seem reluctant as a Church to really engage with.
We will argue interminably about our buildings - which College to keep open, how many students to send them, what subsidy they will receive etc etc. but not about what we want to have happen in them.
We seem to make the same assumption that so many people make about Churches.
All you need to do to be a Christian is go to Church
All you need to do to become a minister is go to college
It's the building that's important - not what goes on it it - obviously!

Meanwhile, your people suffer because ministers are ill equipped to meet their needs, not because we don't have the resources - we do, we are embarrassingly rich in resources, what we don't have (yet) is a coherent picture of what we need to be teaching - and why.

Wesley's first Conference asked
What to teach. How to teach and What to do...
not where to teach, how many to teach and what to do about the cost of it all!

In my opinion, the most important debate in our Church this year on ministerial training has already happened - and most people missed its significance. (which speaks volumes!)
The Ministries, Learning and Development report broke new ground by wanting to look beyond what we do with our buildings, libraries, theological educators, trainers etc and actually explore what will be taught. The new 'Ministries Committee' which Conference approved yesterday will have responsibility:-

'for the general oversight of the learning infrastructure and learning programmes'

Alleluia!

A gigantic step forward:
I can look forward to the day when we as a Conference can get excited again about the curriculum of what is taught in our colleges: The time is surely coming when we will once again focus our attention on how to communicate the gospel and how best to serve the present age, rather than how many bricks we need, or where best to store a library.

Hats off to the Discipleship and Ministry team - for a job well done.

And are we yet alive?

2010-06-28T14:34:00.002+01:00

Good morning God,
The last four days have been so uplifting – thank you.
It has been good to be with so many friends and colleagues, to share in worship and fellowship, and in celebration of our various journeys of faith.
This year, Wesley’s Conference hymn ‘And are we yet alive’ has been especially meaningful and for the first time (if I am honest) I was able to make the connection between individual journeys of faith and the life of the Church.
A Methodist minister’s seniority in the Church is determined by their ‘years of travel’. Whilst this originally referred to the number of years that they had been itinerant, literally travelling around the circuits – it could just as easily refer to the journey of faith. There can be no doubt that I have ‘travelled’ this year . As I read the Psalm on Friday’s service of remembrance, I reflected on the fact that I have indeed walked, and in many ways am still walking, through the valley of the shadow of death. Whilst I can honestly say I do not fear any evil, because, yes I do know you are with me, nonetheless, the question which I have hardly dared to ask is whether or not I am still alive - to you and to my calling.
As I look back over this last year’s conversations, I can see how I have fought for this life which defines me, inspires me and uplifts me. I can see how I have tried to trace a rainbow through the rain, and the extent to which your grace has held me in a love which will not let me go.. but I can see also how I have floundered for want of the fellowship and friendship of my peers, of a travelling companion who understands the nature of the life that you have called me to and who might have asked me, not how my treatment was going, but how my soul fared - ‘ And are you yet alive?’. The journey has been dark sometimes, and has been desperately lonely in places – even though you have clearly been with me.
Conference, with its traditional opening hymn, is a reminder that even though some journeys must be travelled alone, we all need to periodically gather and take stock, to pause and wonder at the fact that in spite of everything – YES we are still alive. Some Churches may have floundered, some circuits may have wrestled with closures and stationing problems: there is hope, there is joy, there are tears, and there are dangers – as Wesley puts it ‘ Fightings without and fears within’...

Yet out of all the Lord
Hath brought us by His love;
And still He doth His help afford,
And hides our life above.

These first few days of Conference have been powerfully healing and restorative: To be a part of a Church which has the courage to ask the same question and genuinely seek an answer is truly awe inspiring. In an age of increasing secularity and creeping congregationalism in our Church, it is uplifting to be reminded how much time we commit to taking the time to listen attentively as our president says, to ponder how we, as a part of the body of Christ, are still alive. As the Vice president has pointed out, we grow in grace as we ask where the transforming love is found amongst us, and it is right and proper to reflect on how we engage with our faith. That we do this together at Conference is important. It reminds us that the Church is NOT a collaboration of individuals, but is one body a connected body. We are in Connexion with one another and the life of one affects the life of us all.
It is, I believe, when we explore what it is that we have spent our all our energy and resources fighting and what it is that we are afraid of, that we are most likely to discover what heals and renews our life so that we might answer Yes – Praise God, when asked ‘And are we yet alive to YOU?
So, thank you God for giving Mr Wesley the insight to make of us a movement – a travelling people who know how important it is to take stock along the way.

Just one small aside God – how come this year Portsmouth is not host to the Methodist Conference, but to the Methodist Church in Conference?
Any idea what this little change is supposed to signify?

And are we yet alive,
And see each other?s face?
Glory and thanks to Jesus give
For His almighty grace!

Preserved by power divine
To full salvation here,
Again in Jesus? praise we join
And in His sight appear.

What troubles have we seen,
What mighty conflicts past,
Fightings without, and fears within,
Since we assembled last!

Yet out of all the Lord
Hath brought us by His love;
And still He doth His help afford,
And hides our life above.

Then let us make our boast
Of His redeeming power,
Which saves us to the uttermost,
Till we can sin no more.

Let us take up the cross
Till we the crown obtain,
And gladly reckon all things loss
So we may Jesus gain.

Meldrew Ministry..

2010-06-18T08:54:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
It's been some time since we had a conversation like this, mainly because I've been pretty angry - with you, with the Church, with the world - with me.
It crept up on me slowly, so gradually that I was not really aware of it happening, just a growing irritation with myself, disillusionment with the Church. frustration at the world.. you know the way it goes. It happens when ministry becomes institutionalized and the focus shifts imperceptibly and inexorably from the divine to the mundane. All too soon you wake up and find yourself with a 'Meldrew' ministry, where the constant refrain of a grumpy old man has replaced all the words of grace and joy.

I found someone had parked in the ministers car parking space at Church - I don't believe it!

I learned of a Church meeting where the members had been downright rude - I don't believe it!
I read a report in the Conference Agenda - I dont believe it!
I was constantly interrupted in my prayers by cold calling telesales - I dont believe it!
My cat sat on my keyboard and managed to delete my sermon notes - I DONT BELIEVE IT!

Of course I can find a million and one reasons for the slide into disillusionment , into anger, and - yes - despair - some of them are even valid.. but not one of them is worth losing my relationship with you - or my ministry for. The last thing the Word or the world needs is an angry, grumpy minister.. even if they are justified in their anger ! There are enough Victor Meldrews in the secular world - we dont need them in the Church as well!

So thank you God, for the wake-up call and for the reminder that forgiveness is not just about being forgiven - it's about seeking the ability to forgive yourself and others for whatever has caused the loss of joy and grace and contributed to the shift of focus. It's about being free enough of the petty and the mundane to delight in the divine - and rejoice!

My anger and disillusionment are not going to be fixed or resolved overnight, but by your grace, I can take the first step and refuse to allow them to define me. No matter how it might seem, the Church and the world are safe in your care and keeping - the good news is still GOOD NEWS even in a grumpy world. Now that's something I do believe !

Christian Charity or Selling Out?

2010-05-27T15:40:00.000+01:00

I hate it God,
No, I really do.
When people walk into the Church and begin with 'I don't want money' they almost always do, and I hate the 'game' that we have to play before they walk out in a huff (generally shouting obscenities or bewailing my lack Christianity), or I give in because I am just so weary of all the lies.

Today was a classic - I don't want money - I jut want food he said. I immediately offered to buy a weeks groceries at the shop opposite. No, that wasn't acceptable, his children were coeliac and he didn't know what to buy, could I give him the money so that he could take it home and his wife would buy it.
I told him no, and asked if he could he ring his wife so I could find out what she needed? No, he didn't think that would be a good idea, besides, he says, the food would be cheaper if it were bought in his local shop. etc etc etc. No matter what I tried to do, it quickly became obvious that the only thing that was going to be acceptable was the money that he had said he didn't want!

In the end of course, I am the bad person for wanting to actually buy the food, I was treating him like a criminal, I was insulting him by not trusting him etc etc etc I was a disgrace to Christianity for offering to buy the food instead of giving him the money. He left shouting abuse, and I am left feeling dirty, disgraced, angry and ashamed.

And.. God, I am so weary of it all.
Tell me - what was I supposed to do? I have got to the stage where I no longer know what I am supposed to do.

Just give the money anyway - money that has come (often sacrificially) from pensioner's pockets - just hand it over to the con-man for his next fix of alcohol or drugs or tobacco or whatever else it is (credit for a mobile)?

Just give the money anyway - on the grounds that if someone is so desperate that they have to try and con a Church they must be desperate indeed?

Just give it and forget about it - because he has asked for it? Even though we have none to give and what we have would undoubtedly be better spent on families here that have a real need?

Tell me God ? I really don't know anymore.
The presumption seems to be that all ministers are idiots, a soft touch, easy picking, fair game: That we don't have feelings, can't be hurt by groundless accusations, that its ok to lie about us, shout and rant and rave at us and call us everything under the sun when we don't give in to emotional or religious blackmail and give them the money they begin by saying they don't want!

Having to live daily with these presumptions is a far cry from “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."

I concede I'm just having a bad day God, but I'm not sure I know any more how to "Rejoice and be glad" or even care about how great my reward is in heaven" when such presumptions make such a hell of life on earth!

What I know is that this amount of anguish and emotional abuse has cost me far more than the £20.00 he would have accepted - but would I then have been selling my soul?

A trinitarian calling

2010-05-26T09:03:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
I've been thinking about the number of ministers I know who have left or are leaving the Church and circuit ministry and I need to talk to you about this.
I remain convinced that there is nothing more wonderful than being a minister of the word and sacrament, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I too, frequently, think long and hard about leaving the Church. So how is it possible to love being a minister, but still have such thoughts.. and what has made so many of those I trained with make the decision to leave?

I believe ministry is a trinitarian calling:

It is a calling from you - to be more fully who I am, to be the person you created me to be
It is a calling from the Church - to live out my calling in service to the body of Christ
It is a calling from the people - to minister your grace to them and tell them the truth of Christ. To go, not only to those who need me, but to those who need me most!

All three calls are necessary for ministry:

I still hear your call - I wake to it every day, it upholds me, delights me, challenges me and transforms me. I cannot conceive of my life without you in every part of it - not as some religious symbol or abstraction, but as the ground of my being, the spark in my soul and the truth of my life.

But, yes, I admit, the other two calls become harder and harder to hear as the years pass - especially when they are mistakenly conflated into one by those who believe that ministry is all about keeping a local Church the way that it was when they were younger.

For a Methodist, the calling from the Church is not the same as the calling to a particular local Church as with the Baptist or URC. The calling from the Church is the calling to serve as an ordained presbyter in the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church of Christ. It can't be pinned down to one local Church, or Circuit, or District: It is a calling to live the life of a Presbyter in Connexion with others :-
to

'Declare the Good News
Celebrate the Sacraments
Serve the needy
Minister to the Sick
Welcome the Stranger
Seek the lost'

Of course - the problem is that too many people presume that this can only be done in a local Church setting. I suspect that good ministers are lost when their calling to the Church is denied to them by those who insist that they KNOW what the minister should be doing - and they are going to make damn certain that they do it!

The calling from the people is the one that causes the most heartache. The words of the ordinal haunt me as I am sure they do others:

Let no one suffer hurt through your neglect.

Like many ministers I grieve for the lost - and for those who suffer hurt through my neglect. I know one minister who left because he could not live with the pain of neglecting the lost.

Peculiarly, the opportunity to proclaim your truth and minister your grace to those who need it most seems to decline as the Church declines. The smaller the Church becomes, the less willing or able the laity seem to be and the greater the insistence is that the minister tend the sheep that are found - rather than the one that is lost.

I am convinced that Presbyteral Ministry ceases to be Presbyteral ministry when its primary focus is on those who are 'found'. And I believe it may be the inexorable demand for this 'maintenance ministry' which causes so many to leave Circuit ministry - and some even to leave the Church altogether: It exposes the Church as a self-serving society, more concerned with its own welfare and comfort than with the Gospel it was set up to proclaim and the kingdom it was created to serve. It denies the minister the ability to fulfill their calling and in so doing severs the two-way nature of the Covenant relationship behind the call of the Church and the minister. Consequently, too many ministers have suffered harm through neglect, too many ministers are never 'ministered to', are seldom, if ever, given the opportunity to HEAR the good news, RECEIVE the sacrament, BE served, be ministered to when they are sick, - and too few - far too few, are sought when they are lost...

Tell me God, might this be the reason so many leave?

My how these Christians love one another

2010-05-23T08:45:00.000+01:00

Ok God,
I confess that I am totally disgusted by what happened this weekend - no matter which way I look at it.
There we were, enjoying a good morning in the Church cafe which as usual on a Saturday was bustling and busy - when we notice people canvassing outside. Being curious, I went out to see what was going on.

The Vinyard Church from Putney were busy canvassing for new members outside our Church by inviting them to a free Hog roast and healing(!!!) event.

Aside from the obvious questions about how healed a hog would be when it was roasted, I found myself wondering what sort of 'Christians' canvass for members directly outside another Church and what sort of signal does this send to non-Christians?

On the one hand I would love to have admired them for their evangelistic zeal(?) But the claim that all they were interested in doing was leading people to Jesus that day was clearly untrue given that what they were actually doing was luring people to the Vinyard's worship in Putney on a specific date - using roasted meat and 'healing' as bait...
Unless, of course, their claim was based on the conviction that the only way that people could be led to Jesus in New Malden was if they travelled all the way to Putney.. because they certainly weren't directing the people they were 'evangelising' to any of the Churches in New Malden - leave alone the open Church they were just a few steps away from.

I wish I could believe in their sincerity, but there was nothing on the leaflet they were handing out that was Gospel - nothing that spoke of the love of God, of the power of the Cross, of Jesus, of Salvation - no: there was no evangelism happening yesterday - only an advertisement for Vinyard's next big sale. The whole thing was a crowd pulling exercise. Except, after watching for over an hour, it soon became noticeable that leaflets tended to only be given to those below a certain age.. I guess those aged 45+ who would be most likely to need 'healing' weren't invited to the feast.

I am disgusted God,
On all sorts of different levels

I am disgusted at the lack of common courtesy and Christian fellowship shown by members of the Vinyard this Saturday and the way in which that demeans the whole people of God.

I am disgusted at what has been made of the 'truth' of the Gospel - when those who preach it feel they have to bait it using an advert for 'Hog Roasts and Healing' before people will come to listen.

And of course, I am disgusted at my reaction - surely what matters above all is that people learn of Christ?
YES, YES, YES.. after all - Wesley also preached OUTSIDE churches..

So I have had to ask myself, am I so disgusted because in my heart of hearts I wish we were as evangelistic?

Yes and no.
Yes I wish that all Christians who worship in New Malden were more outgoing in their willingness to talk to people, whether in the street or at home or in work about the Good News of Jesus Christ
but No..
I pray that none of us become so desperate for 'members' or so determined to promote our own brand of Jesus worship, that we feel the need to canvass - sorry - evangelise - in such a manner.
It was, after all, only AFTER a pulpit was denied to him that Wesley preached outside a Church!.

Binge Worship and the Loss-leader Spirit..

2010-05-21T08:17:00.000+01:00

Pentecost, by Lawrence OP

Good morning God,

What should your Spirit cost us ?

The government are considering a minimum cost for alcohol as a way of trying to curb binge drinking and the increasing rate of alcohol abuse amongst all ages. It sounds simple enough.. and now that one of the largest supermarkets has said that they would support such a stand, it seems likely to go ahead. But not until after the world cup of course. Most supermarkets will use alcohol for the world cup as a loss-leader again to try and draw the customers in.
Beer and football..
I confess its not a culture I'm familiar with, but I can't help but notice the similarity between the supermarket's use of alcohol and the Church's use of your Spirit to try and draw people in..
Especially this weekend.

This is the last great main event until Harvest (Whew - say all the ministers)
After Pentecost the Church calendar moves into 'Ordinary Time' - and many churches sleep their way through June July and August. (Well.. people start going on their holidays etc etc)

So if the Church is going to capture anyone's attention - this weekend is IT until late September..
And, let's be honest about this, the Church hopes to use the outpouring of your Spirit as the loss-leader needed to draw people in. This is a time of joyous celebration - party time!

This weekend most Churches will unwittingly try and binge worship on your Spirit - they will look to recreate or re-enact the events of that First Pentecost - in many there will be an outpouring of languages (not quite glossolalia - and very stage managed, but people will get the point won't they?). There will be a celebration of the Church's birthday and (most important of all) we will all be happy and high. We will get drunk on your Spirit and be happy and joyous in your presence..

Until next Sunday - when we return to ordinary time.

Pentecost binge worship runs the risk of cheapening the gift of your Spirit, the outpouring of your power and the gifts of your grace. It can sell the truth short - and make a lie of the real gifts still being given every day to those on whom your Spirit rests - the gifts of evangelism, of healing, of teaching and of preaching - the gifts of healing, of discernment and of peacemaking. These are essential gifts which the Church and the world needs but which the Church as a whole, doesn't really seem to believe or think it needs anymore. They are also the gifts which demand sacrifice and commitment. According to Church tradition, only one of the original disciples on whom your Spirit rested died of old age! Then as now, these are gifts which cost lives.. and which should not be sold so cheaply.

I'm not sure what saddens me the most - the presumption that the high that happens in binge worship is any substitute at all for an outpouring of your Spirit, or the way in which we sell your Spirit and your presence with us so short.

This Pentecost, the challenge must surely be to try and open ourselves to receive from you the gifts that the Church needs to proclaim your gospel, rather than rejoice in the fact that you did that once already!
Rather than just celebrate the birthday of the Church, the Church need to be 'born again' (a trite phrase, but you know what I mean) The world and the Church needs good preachers, teachers and evangelists who will speak the truth regardless of the cost, who will be open to your Spirit and willing to be led wherever you send them, to risk scorn, persecution, ridicule, and perhaps imprisonment - for the sake of your gospel.
Pentecost should remind us that there has always been a minimum cost to your Spirit: life. Nothing less will do.

Ministerial Performance Indicators..

2010-05-15T09:49:00.000+01:00

Good morning God,
How am I doing?
I know it's an odd sort of question, but then, it's an odd sort of job I do. When I worked in I.T. I knew how well I was doing - I had all sorts of indicators to help me assess my performance: Salary, level of responsibility, no. of 'projects' completed on time and in budget, and the less tangible but just as essential 'feel good factor' - going home at the end of the day knowing that you have achieved something that other people valued.
A ministry that could be assessed along those lines would not be ministry for me, so how should I assess my ministry?
Should I judge myself according to the number of people who attend Church on a Sunday, or the number of people who have become 'Methodists'? If so, I have failed. Like most ministers I am witnessing the decline of the inherited Church, and I have a perverse reluctance to make 'members' of the Church before making 'disciples' of Christ so I tend to be a little slower at 'bringing up the numbers'.The report card would have to read - 'Must do better'.

Perhaps a more accurate measure might be the level of Godly communication I have helped to stimulate and provoke, or the number of people who attend Bible Study? Well Cafe Church and Heretics Club get people talking - but its such a small number in comparison with the whole Church, and so few seem to want to study the Bible that I'm beginning to wonder if people are reading a different book to me! Here too the report would have to read ' Must do better'

I could, of course, get literal, and assess myself by the number of services I have conducted, the number of pastoral visits I have made, the number of meetings I have chaired and the number of letters, books, tracts and blogs I have written.. At least here the report card might read 'Fair'.

But none of these things even begin to touch how I feel about the role of ministry - these things are just the incidentals, the background noise to the real task of trying to mediate your grace.

So how can I assess how well I am mediating your grace?

It matters, not because I want to defend my ministry to anyone, least of all to you, but because the task is so important. I only know one way of breaking through the barrier that prevents humanity from realising its full potential, allowing it to rise up from its subservience to greed, pain, self-obsession and fear - and that is your grace.

Grace alone has the power to do more than expose how petty our politics are - how self-centred and condescending: The media might make it clear to us how few non-white middle-class, middle-aged, men are involved in government - but it takes grace to enable us to understand and begin to tackle the sins that create and perpetuate this scenario at every level of civic and social life.

Grace alone has the power to open our eyes to the real value of a human life, so that we do not see it terms of how a person 'performed', what job they did, how much money they made, what school they went to, how popular they were, how many friends they had etc etc. Grace grants us the vision to see EVERY life as you see it, worth sweeping the whole planet for, worth leaving everything for, worth dying for, worth living for, because each life is unique - hand-crafted by you. Every life counts.

I really can imagine living in a world where every life counted - but I also know we are a long way from there at the moment.

So I need to know - how well am I mediating your prevenient grace? That grace which first awakens interest in people to your presence and invites them to ask the first question about your relationship with them: Or your saving grace which liberates and energises your people as they begin to realise who they really are: Or best of all, your sanctifying grace that provokes and challenges your people to become more than they ever dreamed possible - to believe in themselves and in humanity - really believe - and LIVE.

It is only by your grace that I am in ministry at all..
So tell me God
How am I doing?

Fixing the Order of Pentecost

2010-05-11T07:32:00.001+01:00

Good morning God,
There's no doubt about it - having to prepare worship for a Church does steal some of the spontaneity of worship. I mean - here I am worrying about Pentecost and the coming of your Spirit and trying to figure out how to pin you down to an order of service..

What an odd expression that is -

'Order of Service'

It reads like an honour of some sort about to be bestowed - like the Order of the Garter,
Yes.. it is an honour to serve you by participating in worship.. but I'm not sure that is what most of the congregation think they are doing.
'Nice service', 'good service this morning', or my personal favourate 'I really enjoyed the service'.. all wonderful compliments which suggest that the 'service' is something that the congregation thinks it has just received rather what it has just given to you!

But that's an issue for another blog - back to my main concern.. scripting your holy Spirit..

You do know don't you God, that according to my current order of service you are due to make a personal appearance at 28 minutes to 11? I know you are always with us, but on this rather special day it would be helpful for the congregation if you could be more, well, 'present' - perhaps you could be a little louder, rush around for a bit, slam a door or two.. but only for three minutes if you don't mind, because at 25 minutes to 11 we need to be singing our first hymn.

You see.. I just can't do it, I end up ridiculing us both - and that's not what this is about.

There does need to be some 'order' to our service - I know that.
People like to know when they are reading, or when the hymns are, or when the Children are to come in/go out or when the offertory is to be taken, and, of course, when they are free to go home!

BUT - I know you best as the God of surprises, you surprise me often- especially in worship! So preparing for Pentecost is something I find especially disturbing. I can't help feeling that we go too far, that we 'script' your appearances and dictate our responses as our way of trying to impose our order on your glorious, creative, gracious, chaos.

The very idea of a congregation just bursting into song because the words come to mind and heart would terrify most organists (to say nothing of the projectionist who would have to find the words in Easy Worship or Songpro or whatever..) yet we do know the words to some of our hymns .. it could happen.. And as for the whole congregation breaking into spontaneous extemporaneous prayer or testimony... just because its improbable doesn't mean it's impossible.. And would it really matter if we forgot to take the collection or if the Lord's prayer wasn't said, because some of the congregation began to dance with joy and others to weep with relief at their release from sin and fear..? It happened before in England.. it could happen again.

And all in one hour...?

You are the God of surprises - and I choose to believe you might yet surprise me with an outpouring of your Spirit in the heart of the congregation at 28 minutes to 11 on the 23rd of May....